Sympathy For A Witch
by xDarkxBluexAngelx
Summary: post s4. Morgana is captured and brought back to Camelot after saving Merlins life and learning he is a sorcerer, and Merlin is assigned to watch over her. haunted by the fear of Emrys a broken down Morgana confides in Merlin for comfort and protection.
1. The Witch Is Found

**xxx Hey everyone, so this is an introduction to "Sympathy For A Witch" but i wanted to see what you guys thought of it before i continued. its set six months after the end of series four, enjoy xxx**

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><p>The search for Morgana was beginning to turn out just like the first time she had gone missing, long and tiring. New journeys lead to dead ends and dead ends lead to traps, and the motivation to continue seamed lost, because to be honest Merlin didn't think she was alive anyway, and that was most likely the reason they had spent the last six months searching, and found nothing. Arthur's constant pining for his new wife that he had left straight after their honeymoon was beginning to drive him insane, and if that didn't do it, then Gwaine's non-stop drabble would. It was times like this that made him miss Lancelot the most, for he always knew what to say and how to cheer Merlin up.<p>

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><p>The new lead they were following led them to a cave deep within the mountains of Isgard. The scenery surrounding the cave was beautiful, wild flowers covered the path leading to its entrance, and the day was so hot it forced the jacket from Merlin back. <em>This<em> was the time when Merlin was more than happy that he wasn't a knight, for the thought of walking around in heat like this covered in armour, was _not_ appealing. As they slowly entered the cave, Arthur at the head followed by a dozen knights with swords drawn, the light around them was swiftly replaced with a mysterious darkness that sent shivers up Merlin's sweaty back. When Percival handed out torches to light the way, a labyrinth of tunnels was revealed.

"Arthur, perhaps we should turn back, it doesn't look safe in there." Merlin stated when he caught up with him.

"If your too scared Merlin then you can wait outside with the horses and send the other servant in to help, I'm sure _she_ isn't afraid of the dark." Arthur replied with a snigger.

Trying to ignore that insult since he knew now was not the time for playful banter, he tried again. "There could be anything in here!" he whispered desperately.

"Exactly Merlin, no one in their right mind would want to come in here, which is why it's the perfect hideout for a witch on the run. Split up! Don't leave any tunnel un-checked!"

With Arthur's last words the knights began to disperse and change their pace to a gentle trot as they entered the tunnels. Merlin's stomach churned with the thoughts of what they might find lurking in the darkness, Wilddeoren, bandit's maybe, or even, Morgana.

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><p>For what seemed like hours Merlin had wondered aimlessly around the cave, separated from the others and feeling completely lost.<p>

"_This was hopeless,"_ he thought as he slid down one of the walls of the cave and pulled his knees into his chest. His body screamed for food, drink, and a well-deserved good night's sleep, one that he hadn't had since they departed from Camelot a few weeks ago after a week visit to check up on things, even though he knew Arthur's intentions were clearly aimed at seeing Gwen again. As his eyelids fluttered in and out consciousness, an ear piercing scream shocked him out of his tired state and onto his feet. When another scream echoed down the tunnels to Merlin's ears he began to run, following the bone chilling cries of pain. When he reached the source of the screams he never expected to find what he did; the tall figure of a knight with a sword drawn standing over a quivering body of a woman, in her night dress complete with blood stains from the large gash embedded in her flesh down the length of her left arm, looking up with tearful pleading eyes.

"Please…" Morgana begged her attacker as he raised the sword above her body.

Merlin stood and watched, unsure of what to do. For a moment he only saw a girl curled up tight against the wall of the cave in protection, defenceless from any attacks against her and in need of help, instead of the evil witch who had betrayed him and all of Camelot for her own selfish means.

"No!" Merlin shouted to the young knight about to plunge his sword into her heart.

He turned his sword to the voice that had stopped him quicker that it would have taken him to think about it. On seeing Merlin he breathed out a sign of relief and re-treated his sword. Morgana's head slowly rose from being buried in her arms, the glint of hope in her tear filled eyes quickly lost again on seeing Merlin stand before her and her attacker.

"Why not?" the young knight asked in a manner that reminded him so much of the arrogant prince Arthur used to be.

"I think Arthur would prefer to see her alive." Merlin replied in his authoritative voice that many of the newer or younger knights feared, (which Merlin did find quite amusing.)

"Of course," the knight sighed before bellowing at the top of his voice "Arthur! I've found her!"

Morgana continued her sobbing again, before flinching and retreating further into the wall. "Merlin look out!" She cried, fear evident across her face.

With her words Merlin immediately spun round on his heels, and ducked as a long, furry arm with claws took a swipe at his head, sending him rolling into the wall. The young knight charged at the beast with a loud yell of determination, its purpose to bring fear to its enemy. The beast knocked the knight out of his way with little effort, sending his sword flying towards Morgana.

"Arthur!" Merlin called desperately as the beast turned to face him.

The beast took his time as he walked on all fours towards Merlin, letting out an angry gurgle while saliva dripped from the sides of his mouth. Merlin felt his heart pump faster in fear.

Morgana reached out with her good arm towards the sword of the fallen knight. "Merlin!" she called.

When the witch was sure she had the boys attention, she slid the sword along the stone floor towards him. Merlin rolled along the dirt and grabbed the sword, coming to a stand in one swift movement and turned to the beast. He struck the beast many times before the sword was shattered by the toughness of the beast's skin. It lent over Merlin's fragile form and breathed hot and rotten breath into his face. As his back hit the wall behind him, his eyes took a quick glance down to Morgana, now a lifeless body sprawled out on the floor, her eyes closed as if she was sleeping. His eyes then searched for a weapon, and landed on the torch he had dropped before crashing to the ground. Summoning a spell from his mind Merlin shot out his arm towards the torch, and when his eyes flashed golden the flames consumed the beast's body making it cry out an earth shaking growl that brought rocks down from the ceiling of the cave.

"_Uh oh_…" Merlin thought whilst staring at the ceiling falling around him in horror. "_That was defiantly not the smartest plan in the world."_

Merlin quickly froze the scene around him and darted over to the young knight, placing two fingers on the side of his neck; no pulse. With a sigh he then knelt down next to Morgana and began to place two fingers on her neck, but the pain filled moan she gave out while struggling to bring her head up was enough evidence to tell she was alive. Merlin then noticed the large wound across her stomach, and remembered that he had heard two screams.

Scooping up the injured women in his arms he headed for the exit of the tunnel, dodging the frozen in mid-air pieces of rock. She wasn't unconscious or dead like he had thought originally and part of him was glad for that. After all, she had technically saved his life back there, not that he understood why, but it seemed only fair to return the favour and get her out of the kayos of falling rocks that he had caused, even if her life would be short lived afterwards. Her head flopped against his chest when they left the tunnel, and her hand gripped at his sleeve as she let out cries of pain that were almost impossible to hear, almost. The sound sent a wave of sympathy and guilt over him, for he was the one who relinquished her of her magic, leaving her defenceless from any form of attack.

As soon as he was as far away from the tunnel as possible, Merlin removed the spell from the cave and began running as quick as he could without causing the witch curled up in his arms any further damage.

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><p>"Where the hell have you been!" was the greeting Merlin got from an angry Arthur when exiting the cave. It was clear they had been waiting for him along time, (which Merlin was glad for considering that any minute now the whole cave might collapse.)<p>

Arthur's expression changed from anger to shock upon seeing Morgana in his arms. "So you found her then?" Arthur said as he approached his friend.

"Actually it was Sir Eden." Merlin stated while he stared down at the now unconscious woman in his arms.

"Where is he?" Arthur asked, clearly concerned.

Merlin flinched at the sound of the cave collapsing behind him, and ignoring Arthur's question he headed to place Morgana on the ground. Merlin couldn't see how one so evil, so blinded by bitterness and hate, could look so innocent and make him feel guilty for the harm that had befallen her due to him. It took him months to get over poisoning her, and that wonderful day when he thought she was back safe and sound with good intentions and full of forgiveness was one of the best days of his life, only to be taken away shortly after. And now here he was again, hoping that her saving his life was a sign there was still goodness in her, scratching at the surface and begging to be let out to the world again. And maybe that slight hesitation in killing Arthur all those months ago was what started it off.

"Gwaine, can you manage her on your horse?" Arthur asked as he walked over to his side.

"Yes," Was the answer he got from a clearly not happy about it Gwaine.

"Good. Bind her hands in case she waked up." Turning to walk towards his horse Arthur said to no one in particular, "Were returning to Camelot."

Merlin watched as Gwaine tightly bound Morgana's wrists, flopped her over his left shoulder with no care what so ever, and headed for his horse.

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><p><strong>xxx So what do you think? is it worth continuing? please review and let me know xxx<strong>


	2. She Saved My Life

**xxx So this is chapter two and im glad you guys like it so far. this chapter starts off from Morgana's point of view xxx**

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><p>Morgana awoke to the feel of hard, stone cold floor beneath her, and straw in front of her eyes tickling her soft, pale cheek. With much effort she rose up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes; not noticing her manacled hands, before quickly shifting her attention to the figures standing before her, watching her, waiting for her to awaken. Suddenly her memory returned to her, thoughts of Merlin, wounds, beasts and magic filled her mind as she placed her arm over stomach, and shot a hard, hateful glare to Arthur. He had done this to her, hunted her for months and months making her move from place to place; how she missed the small and shabby home that was her little hovel, at least it was better than the forest and caves, and helping out some dirty farmer with his pigs in return for food, and defiantly better that the miserable confinements that were Camelot dungeons. She knew her future was short now, there was no way Arthur would show mercy on her, not after what she had done and even without her magic she would still be doomed, Emrys would make sure of that.<p>

Morgana forced herself to her feet, trying not to show how much pain it caused her for she could not appear weak, especially in front of her enemies. Gwen stood at Arthur's side, and behind them stood Gaius, two guards and Merlin. Merlin, why on earth had she saved his life back in that cave, he had tried to kill her many times in the past; granted she had also tried to kill him many times to, but he started it!

"Are you going to say something, or are you just going to stand there and look at me like you have nothing better to do!" Morgana snapped, it wasn't what was really on her mind but there was no way she would humour them by pleading for her life, saying how much she had changed and wanted to take back everything she had done.

"I'm sorry that it had to come to this Morgana, I truly am," were Arthur's words that Morgana had no doubt he meant, because for all the things he was, a liar was no one of them. And she knew he cared for her, if he didn't then he wouldn't of tried reasoning with her after she took back _her _kingdom. She had thought of many different ways that conversation could have gone differently; Arthur letting her have what was already hers, Emrys not trying to get her killed and taking away her powers so she could kill them like she wanted, she even went to the extreme thought of actually sharing the throne with him, (not that she would.)

"Get on with it Arthur Pendragon, show how much like Uther you are and sentence your own sister to death! You're a coward! You would see me dead only because I'm more powerful that you and I can see you for the tyrant that you are!"

"I have no choice!" Arthur shouted while tears began to fill his eyes. Gwen held onto her husband's arm in and attempt to calm him as he continued, "You have proven that you can no longer be trusted and you have let magic corrupt you into someone that is completely unrecognisable, if you had shown just a glimmer of the person you once were then I would do everything I could to bring you back!" Arthur took a long pause to catch his breath and find the courage to continue, "But there is no goodness left in you Morgana, and as much as it pains me to do this, I have no choice but to sentence you to death…"

Morgana's body stiffened. Knowing the pain he also felt for saying those words made it much worse, and as Arthur turned to leave the cell something buried deep inside her forced her forward to grab his arm, and possessed her words. Arthur turned round sharply in her grip, shock and fear written across his face as clear as glass.

"Arthur please you can't do this!" she begged while her eyes began to swell up with tears. "I'm sorry, is that what you want to here! I'm sorry! You can't even begin to know how sorry I am for everything, how much I hate myself for all the wrongs I have done you, to all of you!"

"Morgana…"

"Let me finish!" she shrieked before inhaling a deep breath, shocked at her outburst of weakness yet desperate to continue. When she felt strong enough she looked straight into his eyes. They held so much pain it just made her want to die right there and then, it's not like she had anything to live for anyway. Everyone she cared about was either dead or loathed her completely; her only real ally she had had since losing her sister was Agravaine, and even though she knew her was loyal to her, he was _really_ creepy and utterly useless. "I know I can't make up for what I've done, but, but is there's any part of you that could forgive me?" her voice now the sound of a child guilty of putting salt in the sugar pots.

Arthur let out a sigh. "I do forgive you," he began, releasing his eyes from her pleading gaze. "But I will never trust you again, you fooled me once before, how do I know this isn't another trick to spare your life and try and kill me again…"

"I don't have magic any more Arthur," she interrupted. "I'm just the same person I once was."

"I can't take that chance, I have to do what needs to be done to protect my kingdom and you are a threat," Arthur shook her off his arm and moved away towards the door. "You are an enemy of Camelot, an Enemy of me and of the people I love."

"Arthur…"

"Stay out of this Merlin."

Morgana's eyes locked on Merlin's; they seemed so sad, was he trying to help her? Of course not she told herself, he wouldn't care what happened to her, would he?

Morgana wiped the tears from her eyes, backed away from Arthur and slumped against the wall, defeated. She watched as everyone left her, Gwen in a tight sideways hug with Arthur, Gaius with his hands behind his back, and Merlin, hesitantly following without looking away from her. As soon as everyone was gone and the cell door was slammed loudly shut and locked, she began to cry again, and curled up in a tight ball on the ground.

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><p>"Arthur, surely there's another way," Merlin began when they reached Arthur's chambers.<p>

"You can't seriously be on her side! You have seen the lengths she has gone to too destroy us, you know as well as I that her intentions now are only for evil…"

"Yes but…"

"But what Merlin?" Arthur turned away from him and threw his sword belt on the table in anger, ripped the red cloak from his neck and chucked it across the room towards the bed; and missed.

"What If there was some good left in her somewhere," Merlin continued speaking louder than before to make up for the added noise of armour hitting various pieces of furniture.

"Just because someone with magic is no longer capable of using it anymore, does not mean that they are no longer evil, Merlin," Arthur said more calmly as he sat on the bed and started to take off his boots. "It's in them forever."

Arthur's words hit him like a knife. He believed all magic users were evil and that was all down to him. He had turned him against it forever and nothing would bring him back from that, unless…

"Morgana saved my life!" Merlin said quickly as if it was a confession. He felt like he had just admitted he had magic to him because he had always imagined it happening this way, quickly and in the heat of the moment, and Arthur's reaction was just like he imagined it would be as well, shocked but completely disbelieving.

"What?" he asked like he had just heard a joke and didn't get it, (Arthur had a poor sense of humour.)

"Back in the cave, there was a beast, she warned me it was there, chucked me a weapon to kill it, she, saved my life…"

Arthur stared up at him open mouthed for quite a while, trying to process this new information. He shook his head, pinching the rim of his nose like he had a headache, and mumbled to the floor. "Merlin…" he let out with more breath than intended, anger evident in his voice.

"Yes Sire…" Merlin backed away a little in anticipation of what was to come. With no surprise to him Arthur reached for the empty metal cup next his bed and lobbed in at his head. Merlin ducked just in time and the cup hit the doors on the other side on the room.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner!"

Merlin kind of knew that this plan was a half bait disaster, but he had to try, it was his responsibility. If Arthur could see that there was still good in Morgana, and she was able to use her magic for the right reasons, then he would have no choice but to see that magic isn't something to be feared but something to be welcomed, something that could help build the greatest kingdom the land has ever known, and maybe, just maybe even see Merlin for who he really is so he would no longer have to live in fear. It was a long shot, but it was his destiny.


	3. Merlin's New Job

**xxx Ok, sorry this chapter took so long but its exam week so I've been busy revising. There will be another chapter by the end of the week though i promise. Well here it is, chapter 3, hope you like it! xxx**

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><p>The more Merlin thought about it the more he knew it was a bad idea. Morgana would never change; Arthur was right, everything she was, every drop of goodness she had in her was gone, and Merlin knew that, had for a long time. But then why did she help him in that cave? Was it a slight relapse of goodness in her moments before death? Was it a trick to mess with his head and make him think she could be saved? Maybe this was her plan all along. To squeeze her way back into Camelot and their hearts, only to betray them once more. And now all thanks to him, Arthur had convened the council to discuss '<em>this matter'<em> as he put it. The meeting had been going on for what seemed like hours now; Merlin had zoned out a while ago and had no idea what they were talking about, he was too busy trying to get his head around more important things. Like why on earth didn't she have her powers back yet? He knew he was powerful but not enough to permanently strip them, unless he had overestimated Morgana, maybe she wasn't as powerful as he thought. He had only expected the spell to last a few days. The only way to permanently strip magic is to do it yourself, so unless Morgana had got rid of them herself (not likely,) he was completely clueless.

"Good idea Leon, but who would do it?" these were the first words Merlin had heard since trying to pay attention.

"Who would do what?" Merlin asked trying to catch up. From the way everyone heads turned and looked at him, he knew it was a stupid question.

"Merlin, have you been paying any attention?"

There was_ no_ right way to answer this question; if he said yes, then he would be called an idiot for his stupid question, if he said no, then he would be called an idiot for not paying attention, you couldn't win with Arthur.

"I, umm, well…"

"Oh for god's sake Merlin, Leon, could you please repeat what you just said for this _idiot's_ benefit." See, even when he doesn't say anything at all, he's still an idiot.

"Of course sire. Basically we need someone to watch over her, make sure she doesn't get into trouble, and make sure she isn't betraying us."

"Someone we can trust," Gaius added helpfully. "And someone she can trust as well."

"Doubt we'll find one of them," Arthur scoffed, dropping his head at another failed idea.

Suddenly Gwen arose from the table. "I'll do it," she said, courage and determination in her voice.

"No," Arthur said quickly, rising from his chair and placing his hands to rest on his wife's shoulders.

"You can trust me Arthur and me and Morgana used to have a bond, and i…"

"I said no Gwen, the last time she saw you she tried to kill you, I will not put you at risk like that you are too precious to me," Arthur slid his hands down her shoulders to meet with her own hands, holding them lovingly in his grip. "The answer is no."

Gwen gave her husband a gentle smile, and placed one hand against his cheek. "Ok Arthur." She said in an understanding tone.

As King and Queen took their seats again; still holding hands, Merlin rose from the table. This had been his stupid idea and there was no way he was going to let someone else put their lives in danger for it. Besides, if the worst comes to the worst at least he could protect himself.

"I'll do it." He said simply, crossing his arms over his chest when Arthur gave him that look, (that _you just said something stupid_ look.)

"You Merlin?"

"Yes."

"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?"

Merlin stood awkwardly for a moment, trying to think of a smart answer. He knew Arthur thought it was a ridiculous idea, after all he didn't think Merlin was capable of anything more than polishing armour and taking orders; not that he even did that half the time. Still the longer he stood saying nothing the more of an idiot he would look.

Arthur brought his gaze away from Merlin and back to everyone else, (clearly thinking the matter was closed.) As he opened his mouth to speak Merlin's brain began to work again.

"I'm the one who's life she saved back in that cave which means she must care for me a little, which means I'm one step closer to gaining her trust that the majority of you." He waited until he had Arthur's full attention before continuing. "You can trust me, you know you can and this may surprise you but I can look after myself as well." Merlin continued to stand in his arms crossed pose to show that he was going to be stubborn about this if Arthur said no, but to his surprise he actually looked like he was considering it.

"Merlin, if I let you do this you do realise you won't be able to be my servant anymore?"

Is that all could think about? No, Merlin it's too dangerous, or Merlin you're not responsible enough or Merlin you're too stupid. Nope, his thoughts were Merlin if you do this you can't wait on me hand and foot anymore.

"_However_ will I live?" Merlin replied cheekily, a grin beginning to emerge from the sides of his lips as the whole court, including Arthur began to laugh.

"Sire I think it's a good idea," Gaius spoke whilst still laughing slightly.

"Very well, it's decided. But Merlin," Arthur's voice trailed off into his serious tone again, and the court room was silent once more. "Just, be careful."

Merlin sat back down in his chair next to Gaius and gave Arthur a genuine smile this time. That was the closest he would ever get to Arthur admitting that he cared about Merlin.

"When am I not?"

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><p>"Ouch!"<p>

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not!"

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"I hate you."

"Well I hate you to."

"No you don't." They had been at this ever since Merlin came to get her from the dungeons; although she did find it quite amusing, i guess that's one thing her and Arthur had in common (that and wanting to rule Camelot.) Morgana was sat on the edge of her bed while Merlin crouched over her to clean the wound on her arm, and it hurt, a lot! He had said it was infected, not that his opinion was anything to go by, he was no physician, and she was quite offended that they had left it up to him to clean her wounds rather than Gaius.

"You seem very sure about that." Merlin said without bothering to make eye contact. _Her_ eyes, however, hadn't stopped looking at him; partly because she didn't trust him, partly because she was still surprised that this was even happening, but mainly, because she was still so confused. How could she have never seen it before? How could he stand to be anywhere near Arthur, let alone work for him? How could he have kept it a secret all this time?

"Well if you hated me then you wouldn't be helping me now, would you." Morgana scoffed.

"Funny, I could say pretty much the same thing to you, if you hated me then why would you bother to save my life?"

Morgana paused for a second. This was something she had thought about most of the time she was in the dungeons. She had come to the conclusion that the only reason she didn't want Merlin to get killed by that beast was because she wanted to kill him herself, and she was sticking to that.

"Maybe I just wanted to kill you myself." Morgana replied, lifting her head to look at the ceiling for dramatic effect.

She glanced back down when she felt Merlin stop cleaning her wound. He stared at her, looking slightly scared, which only made Morgana smile her evil smirk, and tilt her head to look at him like he was a lost puppy.

"Or maybe I just took pity on your useless ass, but I guess you will _never_ _know_." Morgana hadn't had this much fun in ages. She had missed freaking him out and winding him up so much.

"I can take care of myself, Morgana."

"Oh I know you can Merlin, I know you can…" Merlin now looked more confused than ever, which only made Morgana even happier.

Suddenly Merlin got to his feet, and with a swift arm movement pointing to her body, he said, "I umm, I, I need you to take off your dress." As soon as he got the words out he began to blush slightly.

"What?"

"Well I need to get to your wound, on your stomach, and I can't get to it if it's covered up by your gothic dress can i?"

Now she was offended. And there was_ no_ way in hell she was taking her dress off for him!

"There is no way in hell I'm taking my dress off for you!" she spat, raising from the bed and trying to cross her arms before giving up because it hurt too much.

"It's your choice Morgana, I can't force you, well I wouldn't force you but it's probably infected and without your magic the only way it will heal is if you let me treat it like a normal person."

Morgana almost felt like he was teasing her when he crossed his arms without any trouble what so ever. She knew he was right though, there was no way she would be able to get her magic back and take over Camelot again if she was dying. She let out a frustrated sigh.

"Fine, but don't even _think_, about looking at anything! Understand?"

"Wouldn't dream of it, _my lady_."

She hated it when he did that; mock her title in that annoying voice of his.

As Merlin turned round she began to reach the back of her dress, but couldn't. It hurt her too much to pull her arm back like that, but she still continued to try anyway.

"Ouch!" she let out while nearly falling to the floor after pulling on her stomach. Her body tingled at the feel of arms beneath her, pulling her back to her feet; she _had_ fallen. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek as she cried out again. Merlin held her steady until she managed to catch her breath.

"Would you like me to help you?" Merlin asked her innocently, concern in his voice as he continued to hold onto he shoulders in fear of her falling again.

Morgana didn't reply. She couldn't in case it was some squeaky nonsense that he couldn't even understand, and she couldn't seem more vulnerable than she already did. That was exactly how she felt without her magic, vulnerable. She hadn't felt this defenceless in years. She gave him a gentle nod, and he began to undo the laces of her dress. She felt him. She felt his hot breath against the back of her neck, she felt his hands, all fingers and thumbs at her laces, but eventually running his fingers through the knot in one smooth but slow action, meeting there ends near her waist. And then…

"All done." He said cheerily as he walked away and returned to staring aimlessly out of the window while she undressed.

Morgana pulled the sleeves down her arms and slipped out of her dress, revealing her black, silky chemise underneath, laid down on the bed and pulled the sheets up to her hips, covering her bare legs.

"Ok." She said once comfortable enough, letting out a breath of courage as Merlin approached her again.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and gently began to lift the bottom of her chemise up to reveal the deep wound across her stomach. No one spoke a word which made it even more awkward. She just watched him smooth the treatment onto her, trying to think of something to say, anything would do.

"Thank you." Ok maybe not _anything_.

"For what?" he asked, looking up at her in surprise.

"You saved my life, twice." Merlin now looked more confused than surprised. "Once back in the cave, and once with Arthur, I know it was you that convinced him not to kill me."

"I think it was you that saved my life in that cave…"

"Maybe so, but, you didn't leave me behind."

Merlin said nothing, only continued to treat her wound. She couldn't hold it in any longer. She had to know, right now, or it would eat away at her until she did.

"How do you do it Merlin?"

Merlin grabbed the bandage from Gaius's medicine bag and gently moved his hand under her hip to rap it round.

"Do what?"

Morgana winced as he began to rap the bandage around her, but she knew he was trying his best not to hurt her.

"How do you live a lie every day? You lie to everyone. You stay loyal to Arthur even though you know what he would do to you and you turned your back on us, you turned your back on me just to protect yourself. You think I betrayed you, but it was the other way round."

Merlin tied the ends of the bandage together and Morgana pulled herself up to be at the same level as him.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about Morgana." He said, failing to hide the fear in his voice.

Morgana stared at him for a considerate amount of time. He was lying, she could tell, she was right.

"I know you have magic, Merlin."

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><p><strong>xxx so what did you think of this chapter? i know it's a bit of a mean place to leave it but, oh well... :) please review xxx<strong>


	4. Blackmail

**xxx I'm back! Sorry this chapter took so long to write, i've been revising alot but as i promised it is up before the end of the week! And i'm very sorry i kept you waiting on such a cliff hanger as well. This chapter explains alot of the questions i keep getting asked like "Why doesn't Morgana have her powers back?" Well someone will be reluctantly revealing that fact in this chapter. Also things get very tence between Merlin and Morgana, involving some slight Merlin whumpage. Enjoy xxx**

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><p>Merlin's body froze in horror. Of all the things he had expected to come out of her mouth, that was <em>not<em> on the list. She couldn't be serious! It had to be another one of her tricks because he was sure she never even opened her eyes _once_ after he thought she was unconscious. Mind you, he did only _think _she was unconscious. It didn't matter anyway if she was serious or not because if she was then it wouldn't be long before she told Arthur, and that would be the end of him. And if she wasn't, then the only thing she could gain from making it up would be to tell Arthur. Both conclusions end in the same way, with his death. But she had no proof, and surely Arthur would believe him over her now that she was an out of the closet villain. No, he wouldn't even let it get that far. If she was going to tell then there was only one thing he could do; kill her before she got the chance. He didn't like the thought of it even after everything she had done, but he would have no choice.

"I don't know what you're talking about Morgana." That's all he could think to say, all he had ever done in these situations, deny it.

"Oh come off it Merlin I saw you! I saw the fire and the rocks and everything!" Morgana leaned forward, close enough to his face to make him lean backwards slightly. It was amazing how she could quickly turn from being so calm to so angry in a matter of seconds. She_ was_ serious; there was no doubt about it. "Do you deny it?" her teasing tone made it sound less like a question, and more like a threat, like she was daring him to deny it just to humour her more, but there was no point.

"I, umm…"

"Well?" Morgana interrupted impatiently.

Merlin ripped his eyes from her deathly stare and began to fiddle awkwardly with to bottom of his sleeve. Inhaling a deep breath, he let out the answer his body was screaming in disagreement with.

"No."

The dread of what was coming next hit him hard and he felt his breathing get faster and faster in fear. He dropped his head into his hands when he felt tears spring to the corners of his eyes. He had just signed his own death certificate. He was angrier with his own stupidity more than her, she was just doing what came to her naturally, and he should have expected it, but the only person to be blamed for his death would be him. Why on earth didn't he leave her in that stupid cave! Why wasn't he more careful with his powers? He was always careful, well, mostly but still he should have been more careful with Morgana around. And to be so naive to think Morgana could actually change, what was he thinking?

Merlin was pulled from his rant inside his head when he felt legs brush against his back. He was gently reminded of Morgana's presence when the bed shifted and a pair of bare feet appeared before him, but he didn't dare look up. Instead he continued to stare at his hands and wish he was anywhere else; mucking out the stables seemed like paradise compared to this.

"Well, that part was over with quicker than I expected." The coldness of her words brought the hairs on the back of his neck to a stand. She had a plan, and it wasn't a good one.

"Whatever your planning Morgana, just get on with it. Hand me in to Arthur if that's what you want and see where it gets you." Merlin's voice was muffled by his hands but he tried to sound as confident as possible, given the circumstances.

"Now why would I want to do that?"

Merlin slowly raised his head from his palms in shock, and was met by the cruel smirk he was so familiar with on Morgana's face.

"You're much more valuable to me, alive."

Merlin shifted his gaze to the floor. He did _not _like where this was going. What use could he be to her? None of this made any sense!

"I don't see how I could be of and value to you Morgana."

Suddenly, a cold hand was gripping to his chin and his head was roughly yanked up to look Morgana straight in the eyes; no one could doubt the darkness in them, but behind that there was pain, and desperation, only slightly but it was there none the less.

"No need to put yourself down Merlin. For you're the only one that can help me in this _god forsaken_ place…"

"Help you?" Merlin interrupted. He was about to say _"Why on earth would I help you?" _but thefeel of Morgana's nails digging in to his cheeks stopped him immediately.

"Just shut up and listen!" Morgana shouted.

Merlin forced himself not to wince as he felt blood start to trickle down his cheek. The sight of it made Morgana decrease her grip slightly and her features began to soften, but only noticeable to Merlin because her face was less than thirty centimetres away from his. After a deep sign she removed her grip completely.

"Merlin, I can't live this way any longer. I _need_ my powers back, and," Merlin couldn't keep track of how many times her expression had changed that day; pain to hate, hate to happy, happy to more pain, then to evil, guilty, and now back to evil again as she spoke her last words. "And you're going to help me get them back!"

Merlin scoffed. "Of course Morgana, I would be more than happy to help you get your magic back so you can take over Camelot again, it would be my pleasure." He said sarcastically.

Her hand grabbed his throat and pushed him back against the bed; her long black locks fell onto his face as she leaned over him, their bodies dangerously close. Merlin struggled beneath her, pushing against her shoulders in an attempt to get her off on him, but that only led her to release her grip on his neck and grab his wrists, pinning them above his head. Her knees dug into him as she straddled his waist, forcing him to still. Merlin's heart was racing, and not just out of fear. His body was well aware of the half-naked women sitting on top of him, a precarious smile spread across her moist, red lips. He closed his eyes when she moved her lips next to his neck, slowly moving them up towards his ear, and whispered…

"I'm not asking Merlin, I'm telling…" Her seductive tone sent shivers through his body. He tried to shut his eyes even tighter and move his head further away from the torturous feeling of Morgana panting against his ear. "And if you want that little secret of yours to remain a secret, you_ will_ do as I say, understand?"

"Fine." That was the only word that he could get out of his clenched teeth. It took all his strength not to send her flying into a wall, but he didn't want her to know exactly_ how_ powerful he really was, and view him as a threat.

Morgana slowly slid down his front and into a stand, taking the tension in his body with her.

"Good." She said, hands on hips. "Right, I think I'll take a bath, who's my new servant now that _Guinevere_ is Queen?" Morgana scowled upon mentioning Gwen, obvious hatred towards her in her voice.

Merlin pushed himself up off the bed onto his elbows and gave her a questioning look.

"You don't have one." He said simply, slightly amused by her bewildered expression.

"But that's not fair!" Morgana winged.

Merlin forced himself into a stand, and headed towards the door. As he reached out for the handle, he turned to face a now _very_ annoyed Morgana, and said, "Life's not fair." And with that, he left the room.

* * *

><p>"You did what!" the Great Dragon bellowed.<p>

Merlin was pacing in front of him, turning every now and then to look at the giant not-very-amused creature before him.

"I don't have to repeat it again do i?"

Killgarrah frowned. "Why is it young warlock that as soon as you show great strength and wisdom, you do something utterly stupid that makes me doubt your gifts were given to the right person?"

Merlin couldn't help but laugh; it wasn't funny, quite the opposite in fact. Maybe he just needed to laugh after the day he had had, or maybe it would help with what he was about to say next.

"She knows about my magic."

Merlin stood in anticipation to get shouted at, and then decided he didn't have time for it and spoke again before the dragon could get his words out.

"She wants me to help her get her magic back and said that she will tell Arthur about me if I refuse and…"

"Does she know who you really are?" The Great Dragon interrupted.

Merlin shook his head. "No."

"Good. Make sure it stays that way."

Two threats in the same day; this was defiantly _not_ a good day at all.

"Why doesn't she have her magic back? I never thought I would permanently strip them."

"That's because you haven't."

Merlin waited to see if he was going to elaborate on that, but it was obvious that he wasn't.

"So how _does_ she get them back?" He asked, not sure if he would get an answer or not, (Dragons were stubborn.)

"Why do you want to know? I hope you're not considering helping the witch."

Killgarrah leaned in closer to Merlin like he was trying to get the answer just by looking at him.

"Of course not, but I need to make sure she doesn't get them back and the only way I can do that is if I know what not to do, you know?" Merlin babbled desperately.

Killgarrah continued his creepy stare for a few moments, making Merlin feel a little nervous.

"Liar!" The dragon growled, rising to his back legs to flap his wings angrily before settling on all fours again.

"I'm not i…"

"Merlin I am over a thousand years old, I know the ways of man more than you know how to pick herbs, and yet you still try and fool me?"

Merlin hung his head in shame. "I don't know what I'm going to do." He admitted. "I'm just so, confused by everything. I know if it comes to it I will have to kill her, I've accepted that but, I guess I have to try to help her, I mean, she saved my life."

Merlin let out a sigh and wiped away the tears that had begun to form in his eyes.

"We have been through this young warlock," Killgarrah said carefully. "She cannot be helped. It is her destiny to be your enemy as much as it is your destiny to be hers."

"No, my destiny is to protect Arthur. It has nothing to do with her!" Merlin argued back. He knew that Killgarrah was right on some level though, he always was.

"I don't have the power to deny your request Merlin as we have so easily established in the past, but I warn you, if you help her get them back she will only use them to destroy _you, _and everything you have achieved."

Merlin thought back to the incident when he ordered the dragon to save Morgana's life, and how guilty he felt for it, especially considering it backfired. But this was different, if he knew how to get her powers back then that would mean he would have something over her, something to use against her if need be. He was pretty sure getting her powers back would be more important to her than turning Merlin in for sorcery anyway.

"How does she get her powers back?" He asked again, this time in a more demanding tone.

"It takes more than time to relinquish a spell as powerful as the one you have used."

"Kind of gathered that bit…"

"Do you want me to tell you or not?"

"Umm, yes?" Merlin wasn't sure if it was a trick question, considering it was obvious that he wanted to know.

"Then don't interrupt me." The dragon spat angrily.

Merlin looked down at his feet and started to play with a piece of grass between them. "Sorry." He mumbled.

The dragon glared at him before continuing. "To break this enchantment, it requires a trigger."

"A Trigger?" Merlin repeated, now listening very carefully.

"A deep routed emotional trigger, strong enough to break the spell. My guess is that the emotion required from the witch will most likely be hatred, envy, bitterness or…"

"I get the point." Merlin interrupted again, much to the dragon's annoyance. "Thank you." He said with a slight bow of his head in respect; he didn't like forcing the dragon to tell him things, but sometimes, it's just necessary. With that, he started to head back towards Camelot.

"Young warlock!" Killgarrah called after him.

Merlin reluctantly turned back to face the dragon.

"Do not let yourself be fooled, you know her intentions as much as I, she will never change. Arthur could see it which proves you are achieving your destiny and molding him into a great king, but you must now learn to use the wisdom you guide others with for yourself."

Merlin's head wasn't in the right place at the moment to attempt to think on that, so he just smiled and nodded, and made his way into the forest.

* * *

><p><strong>xxx So did you like it? I hope that the way to break the enchantment isn't to unrealistic but it fits perfectly with the future plot. Also what did you think of Merlin and Morgana's fight? Their relationship will take a more romantic rout in the future but im not sure if i will let this side of things play out a little longer. Thoughts? xxx<strong>


	5. Little Act Of Revenge

**xxx Sorry for another long wait but i tried to publish this chapter a little quicker this time. xxx**

* * *

><p>When Merlin returned to his chambers, he didn't expect to be met by Arthur; arms crossed and looking very annoyed in the middle of the room. He couldn't see Gaius anywhere, which was slightly concerning since it was pitch black outside and his rounds would of finished hours ago.<p>

"Where the hell have you been?" Arthur asked through gritted teeth. "No wait, let me guess, the tavern?"

Merlin gave him a confused look; had he forgotten already that he no longer his servant, and therefore no longer at his beck and call?

"I was…"

"I've just been to have a little chat with Morgana." Arthur interrupted.

Merlin's heart began to race. Surely she hadn't told Arthur about his magic already, that wasn't part of her plan! But if she hadn't told then why was Arthur so angry?

"Arthur I can explain." Merlin began, before Arthurs hand was suddenly in his face telling him to stop.

"I think it's best if I do the talking Merlin." Arthur said before placing his hands to rest on his hips. "As I was saying, I've just been to have a chat with Morgana. You can imagine my confusion, when I found her _alone_!"

"_Uh oh…" _Merlin thought. He had completely forgotten about the whole having to keep an eye on her thing, he just wanted to get away from her. He's a dead man…

Suddenly Arthur was right in front of him, staring at him in an odd way, making Merlin feel very uncomfortable.

"What happened to your face, Merlin?"

Merlin quickly raised his hand to his cheek, and winced at the feel of lumps where the skin had been broken on his soft skin; Morgana's nail marks. He knew he couldn't say that he had got the marks from her, but how would he explain it?

"It was a rat." Merlin said simply. It was the first thing that popped into his head, but he said it with such confidence he could have fooled himself into believing it to be true.

Arthur stared at him with raised eyebrows. "A rat?" He questioned.

"Yes," Merlin replied; feeling rather stupid now for his rubbish excuse. He knew Arthur wouldn't leave it at that, so he continued with: "There was a rat, in Morgana's chambers, I had to get rid of it for her and it attacked me, and that's why I had to leave Morgana alone."

Arthur stared blankly for quite some time, looking at Merlin like he was a puzzle he couldn't solve.

"I don't doubt it for a second Merlin." Arthur said finally, shaking his head out of his stare.

Merlin couldn't stop the large grin from placing itself on his lips at getting away with it, but then he realised the insult Arthur had just given him and it was quickly lost. Merlin gave Arthur an annoyed glare, before glancing round the room again.

"Where's Gaius?" He asked in a slightly worried tone.

Arthur took Merlin by his left arm; spinning his round as he headed them towards the door. Merlin didn't protest against the half drag across the room, but looked at Arthur questioningly.

"Gaius volunteered to stay with Morgana until you were found."

Merlin suddenly felt a wave of panic wash over him. The thought of Gaius alone with Morgana was scary, however he knew Gaius would not hesitate to use magic against her if need be.

"So _you_ Merlin need to get your lazy backside over there right now so we can all get some rest." Arthur continued as he shut the door behind them and let go of his ex-servant.

"Right of course." Merlin said hurriedly before speeding off down the corridor.

Merlin was quite surprised to find what he did when he reached Morgana's chambers: the room was pitch black except from the bright moonlight that shone through the open window, enriching the room in a silver glow, Gaius sat with his hands resting on the table, fingers entwined, and Morgana was sound asleep under the covers of her bed.

"Shhhh…" Merlin heard Gaius whisper from within the darkness, as he rose up from the table and made his way over to him.

When Gaius was no more than a metre away, Merlin began to speak. "How has she been?" He asked curiously.

Gaius glanced over to the sleeping figure. "Fine," He said quietly, and turned back to Merlin with a raised eyebrow. "It's almost as if she was her old self again."

Merlin gave Gaius a gentle smile. "_At least she was behaving herself around others."_ He thought, admiring Morgana's innocent sleeping figure and light snores.

"That's good."

"It's only an act Merlin." Gaius remarked, sensing Merlin's sudden weird fondness for the sleeping girl.

Merlin quickly snapped his eyes to Gaius's gaze; he was looking at Merlin with slight concern and confusion.

"I know Gaius," Merlin reassured his guardian. "You should get some rest."

Gaius let out a sigh. "I guess. will you be alright Merlin?"

"Of course." Merlin replied whilst taking hold of Gaius's shoulders and slowly walking him towards the door. Gaius seemed to get the hint that Merlin wanted him to leave and picked up his pace.

"Goodnight Merlin." Gaius said before turning to walk down the corridor.

Merlin watched his guardian leave until he was no longer in view, and retreated back into the room.

"Well I thought he would never leave."

Merlin turned sharply at the sound of Morgana's snide remark. She stood next to her bed with her hands on her hips wearing a familiar cream nightgown, he hair tousled her left shoulder in an attempted plat, (clearly she had no talent in doing her own hair, Gwen most likely did it every day apart from the last year when she was content to leave it to become a bunch of dead dreadlocks,) yet she still looked as beautiful as ever.

"Have you been awake this whole time?" Merlin accused.

"Do you really think I could willingly fall asleep with someone watching me?" Morgana spat back.

"Mmm… I can imagine that would be quite difficult." Merlin said sarcastically, then grinned at what he was about to say next. "Well, I'm off to bed, if you need me, I'll be_ right_ over here, watching you sleep."

Merlin turned and headed towards the servant's quarters of her room, silently laughing to himself.

"Oh and I wouldn't try and go on any of those midnight strolls you used to be so fond of, I'm a _very _light sleeper."

"You are NOT sleeping in my room!" Morgana shouted while storming closer to him.

"Have to; it's my job now to make sure you're not getting into any trouble, which translates to making sure you're not betraying us so unfortunately for the both of us, I am staying _right_ here." He replied smugly; not that he liked the idea any more than her, but because it would annoy Morgana, it was worth it.

Merlin turned and walked confidently into the smaller part of Morgana's chambers, and without looking back he said: "Goodnight _my lady_."

"Merlin…" Morgana warned angrily, clenching her hands into fists.

"Sweet dreams!" was his only reply.

With that Morgana turned sharply back towards her bed and kicked the dresser next to it; making Merlin snigger slightly due to her disappointed look when it didn't fall over. Merlin knew it was _clearly _not wise to push her any further, but he just couldn't help himself.

Moving to lead against the frame of the door, he said, "You know if you keep abusing your furniture like that eventually it will just get tiered of you and fight back."

Morgana shot arrows at him with her anger filled eyes. "Shut up Merlin, you don't make any sense!" She replied in an annoyed tone.

Suddenly, the middle draw of the dresser shot out and wacked Morgana's legs just below the knee; not too hard, but hard enough for her to wince out and bend down to sooth her legs.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Merlin joked; hiding his slight guilt for hurting the witch, but clearly pleased with his little act of revenge.

Morgana looked up at him in shock, mouth open as if to say something, only no words came out.

"See you in the morning!" Merlin called out to her after walking away, and flopped onto the bed.

The last noise heard from Morgana's chambers that night was her loud growl of anger before she roughly ripped the sheets back from her bed, and slumped into the mattress. Merlin lay on his back on the not very comfortable bed, struggling to get too sleep with the thoughts of what tomorrow might bring. Morgana hadn't asked him if he had found any information on how to get her powers back yet, perhaps it had slipped her mind but he was sure it would be coming up in the morning.

It wasn't long before both witch and warlock were sound asleep; Morgana curled tightly around one of her extra pillows, making soft wheezing noises every now and again, and Merlin in his newly found position on the floor, rapped in his protective cocoon of a blanket.

* * *

><p><strong>xxx thoughts? xxx<strong>


	6. Painful Memories

"Merlin..."

Merlin lay curled around a pillow, hugging it tightly to his chest. Morgana had been watching him for quite some time now; standing over him and gently whispering his name, but enough was enough. He was either lying about being a light sleeper or purposely ignoring her, but she wasn't going to wait anymore.

"Merlin!"

"Ouch!"

Merlin was awoken by a sharp kick to his side and looked slightly surprised to see Morgana standing above him; arms crossed and looking very annoyed.

"What?" Merlin asked in a husky voice while returning his head to the crook of his arm.

"Finally!" was Morgana's angry reply as she leaned further over him. "I've been trying to wake you for ages!"

"Mmm…"

"Don't 'mmm' me, Merlin! The doors locked and I need you to open it!" Morgana continued to shout; giving herself and probably Merlin a headache, (it was too early for shouting.)

"In a bit…"

Morgana's froze; her eyes wide and lost for words at his unexpected reply. _"Since when did Merlin not follow orders?" _She thought. _"He should be scared of me and doing everything he can to please me so I won't tell Arthur his precious secret!"_

"Not in a bit, now Merlin, I'm hungry!" Morgana whined. She didn't mean to sound so pathetic but it was true, and she hadn't actually eaten anything since she was captured.

Merlin pushed himself up onto his elbows and into a stand, and stretched rather dramatically while Morgana waited and tapped her foot.

"Come on then."

He began to walk into the other room, and signalled with his head for Morgana to follow. After a few seconds of hesitation, Morgana entered her chambers behind Merlin and followed him to her table. He placed his hands on the sides of a chair and pulled it out from the table.

"Take a seat."

Morgana gave him a puzzled look. "Why?" She asked; distrust spilling out of her mouth as she spoke.

"Just, sit."

Morgana stared at him for a while in confusion, but reluctantly did as she was told and sat down, pulling her chair closer to the table. Merlin's hands lingered on the top of her chair for a while, before walking to stand beside her.

"Now what?" Morgana quizzed, looking up at him expectantly.

Merlin placed too hands on the side of the table and stared at the centre.

"dægmete."

Merlin's voice was barely louder than a whisper, but Morgana could feel its power as a soft wind brushed her face. Suddenly there was a large golden glow hovering over the table, and the outline of objects began to form. Before Morgana's eyes a plate of bread, cheese, ham, a large fruit bowl and a jug appeared on the table, complete with various pieces of silverware. Merlin crossed his arms and looked at Morgana quite smugly, but Morgana's eyes were fixed in owe at the table now covered in food. She had never seen magic used so beautifully before. The softness of the spell made it seem so harmless, and welcoming; like there was nothing to be afraid of. And the delicate orbs of lights that floated and created this masterpiece were so mesmerising, like nothing she had ever seen before, even from Morgause. Something about his magic made her believe he was different to every other sorcerer she had met, (and there have been a lot of them,) but she just didn't know what.

"Magic is useful for other things besides causing harm and taking over Camelot, Morgana."

Morgana knew that those words and this moment would stay with her forever, despite what she wanted. But this moment somehow felt important, like the beginning of something different, something that would change everything.

"Morgana?"

Morgana quickly shook her thoughts away when she realised she was staring open-mouthed at Merlin like an idiot.

"Y-yes?" Morgana stammered out.

Merlin signalled with his head towards the food. "It's not poisoned you know."

Merlin's expression quickly changed, clearly seeing the stupidity in what he had just said, and thinking the same thing she was; poison. Morgana felt pain bubble up inside her as she remembered that dreadful day, the guilt she felt for watching her friends suffer and knowing it was all her fault. Her heartbreak when she struggled in Merlin's arms as her comforted her, waiting for her to die; die by his hand. She had felt so betrayed. Poisoned by someone she loved and cared about, a friend.

"I'm sorry, that was a bad joke," Merlin began. She didn't know why he was bothering to try and make it better but she liked that he was. "I only meant that you can trust me and it's perfectly fine, I promise."

No matter how hard she tried to fight it, she couldn't stop the sudden rage from building up inside her and reaching its climax.

"Trust you?" she mocked while rising to her feet. "I did trust you Merlin! I confided in you with my fears and my worries and you did nothing to help me!"

"I did what I could!" Merlin quickly shot back, both stunned and angry at her outburst.

"No Merlin!"

Morgana felt the strength to argue leave her once more, but she had to let this out. Had to let him know how she felt.

"You didn't." Morgana continued quietly and slightly out of breath already.

"Morgana…"

"Why didn't you tell me Merlin? Why didn't you help me?"

Merlin's features softened when he heard the pain in her voice, guilt evident across his face.

"What did you want me to do?"

"I was alone Merlin, I was afraid. I didn't know what was happening to me and it was tearing me apart!"

Morgana signed as she let tears fall down her cheeks, pulling her deeper into her memories of being lost and scared; a broken shadow of the women she had now become.

"I was scared of myself and what was to become of me, and I didn't know where to turn."

"I helped you find The Druids so that they could fix that." Merlin finally stated after a long pause filled with Morgana's sniffles.

"I know you did and I was grateful for that Merlin I really was but, they didn't help me, not really. They made me sure of who I was but that didn't stop the fear of how to control my magic or what would happen to me if Uther found out. I had no one to turn to."

Merlin sighed. "I know."

Morgana flopped into her chair again in defeat, feeling drained from all that she had just confessed. She raised her head to look at Merlin and noticed that he was now crying to, although she was unsure why. How did her painful memories affect him? Was he just crying out of pity or did he actually care about her? Morgana scoffed to herself. Of course he didn't; if he did then they wouldn't be in this mess.

"Did you ever, even consider, about telling me you had magic?"

Morgana knew the answer she would get, but she couldn't help but ask. One question that she had kept asking herself since she found out about his magic: if he would have told her and helped her with her own magic, would all the bad things she has done still happened? Would she still have turned to Morgause and dark magic? Would she still of sort revenge?

"Yes." Merlin murmured quietly; nearly throwing Morgana off her chair in shock.

"Then why didn't you?"

"I was scared…"

"_You _were scared? Did you not see _me_?" Morgana interrupted angrily.

"Of course I did! I wanted to do nothing more than help you but, I couldn't."

"Why!" Morgana pleaded. "I think I deserve to know why you turned you back on me."

Merlin took a seat next to her and looked deeply into her green, tear filled eyes with his equally tear filled blue ones; trying desperately to get her to understand. Morgana's hands trembled in her lap as she continued to meet his gaze.

"I was told about your destiny, I was warned about what you would become, that if you learned about your magic then you would only use it for evil. I couldn't let that happen but I couldn't watch you suffer either. So that's why I got you to contact The Druids. I thought they could teach you to use your magic for good. I wasn't supposed to do it but I did, and I don't regret it."

Morgana turned her head to stare at her hands now playing with her night gown and tried to pull back her tears. This emotional atmosphere really needed to come to an end because it was making her feel sick to her stomach, (and that food sitting in front of her was far too tempting to ignore any longer.)

"Do you ever," Morgana started again. _"Why are you still talking you stupid girl?" _she scolded herself. "Do you ever wonder what might of happened if you would have told me?"

Merlin hesitated for a moment but still continued to look her way.

"Every day." Merlin replied confidently.

Morgana found herself once again looking into those beautiful pools that were Merlin's eyes, and was shocked when she felt a smile spread across her face; a smile which encouraged one to spread across Merlin's to, equally as wide.

Suddenly Merlin quickly rose up from the chair and wiped his eyes dry; Morgana also rubbed at hers. That had been one of the worst moments of Morgana's life ever, but somehow she felt so much better now than she did before.

"Now," Merlin began; his usual irritating cheeriness back in his voice. "How's about that breakfast?"

The breakfast in front of her didn't look as amazing as it did earlier, now that all the sparkles were gone, but she was still hungry.

"It's defiantly safe?" Morgana asked wearily.

"I'm positive."

"Well you try it first then." Morgana ordered while crossing her arms over her chest.

"Fine."

Morgana watched as Merlin picked up a strawberry by the stem, and slowly bit into it sending juices all around him mouth. He closed his eyes as he chewed on the delicious fruit.

"Mmmmmm…" Merlin teased as he swirled his tongue around his mouth, and giggled as Morgana quickly grabbed a strawberry herself and bit into it, (clearly not caring about elegance, she was _starving_.)

It didn't take long for the food to disappear. The strawberries went first, followed by the grapes, (Merlin ate all of them and refused to share,) and then the water melon slices, (Morgana's favourite.) it seemed the normal breakfast of bread, cheese and meat was forgotten by the glorious taste of fruit; something Morgana had missed having the luxury of since leaving Camelot.

The pair made idle chit-chat whilst they ate, talking and laughing like old times. It was only when Morgana was getting dressed behind her screen, (her injuries had improved so much overnight _thank god,_ so Merlin didn't have to help her,) did another important conversation pop up.

"So, did you find out how to get my magic back?" Morgana asked whilst stepping out of her night gown.

Morgana heard Merlin mumble something to himself but didn't acknowledge it.

"Nope, nothing." Merlin replied.

Morgana peered round from the screen; just enough to not show anything, and grinned.

"Liar." She accused and quickly continued dressing.

Merlin signed in defeat._ "He's obviously learned it's useless to lie to me."_ Morgana thought.

"Ok fine, I do know, but I'm not telling you, yet."

That wasn't surprising to Morgana. She knew he wouldn't give in that easily; he was stubborn, a bit like her in that respect.

"I figured you would say that." Morgana said in her wickedest voice she could put on. "Could you please help me with this fastening?" She then asked innocently; which then made Merlin smile and giggle like he was remembering something funny, but still walked over to the screen anyway.

Morgana held up the golden laces of her emerald green dress for him, and felt his fingers slide over hers as he took them.

"So when will you tell me then?" She asked nicely, putting on her _you know you love me_ voice, (it had gotten her out of many sticky situations in the past.)

"When I know you can be trusted with it_."_

When Morgana felt him tie the small bow at the top, she quickly spun in his arms so they were face to face.

"Speaking of that, I had an idea." Morgana said excitedly.

"Oh god."

"No no no, here me out first." Morgana continued.

Merlin took hold of the long pieces of gold fabric at her sides that were used for a belt, and began to wrap in around her front and to the back.

"Fine."

"Ok, well I was thinking that you could teach me."

Merlin raised both his eyebrows questioningly.

"What?" He asked in disbelief.

"Well I was thinking about that whole breakfast magic trick you pulled of earlier, and that got me thinking that I want to do stuff like that, you know, use my magic for other things than _evil and taking over Camelot."_ She said the last words with her fingers twitching in the air, mimicking what he had said earlier.

Merlin spun her in his arms to reach the back of her dress to tie the bow.

"That wasn't that impressive Morgana, and also creating your own breakfast doesn't come without consequences."

Morgana didn't see that creating food could possibly have a consequence and ignored him completely.

"I want to learn good magic, Merlin." She said confidently while turning round to face him again; their bodies barely apart.

Merlin stared at her in disbelief. He didn't trust her; that was expected since she didn't trust him either, but she needed him to be on her side and if acting the way he wants her to be will do it, then so be it.

"I suppose I could help you a little, on one condition."

"Anything." Morgana said rather too happily.

She watched as Merlin walked away from the screen and towards her old jewellery box, and selected a gold necklace with a clear gemstone. She walked to his side as he placed it carefully on the bed, and watched him, intrigued to find out what the _hell_ he was doing.

He placed his hands over the necklace, and his eyes began to glow bright gold once again.

"Met ond spyremann æt áwendednes for fæstnung."

When he removed his hands the necklace was swirling with white and gold lights and shaking slightly. Before it had stopped he picked it up and raised it to her neck. Morgana lifted her long hair helpfully as he slid his hands along her skin and around to the back of her neck. As soon as the necklace was clasped together the glow got brighter, and Merlin returned his hands to his sides. The gem swirled with a rainbow of colours before settling on a vibrant blue, but still continued to let out a dim light.

Morgana looked up at him, innocent and confused.

"Wear this."

* * *

><p><strong>xxx Sorry this chapter took a while, but i have half written the next chapter already so that one wont take nearly as long. So what did you think of this chapter? Any idea what Merlin might of done with the necklace? xxx<strong>

**xxx The next chapter will be partly from Arthur's point of view so hope you will like that xxx**


	7. Just Like Old Times

"What did you do to it?" Morgana asked cautiously.

Merlin couldn't think of an easy way to explain what he had done to it, or why he did it. He didn't even know if it had worked at all. After all, putting three different enchantments on one amulet was pretty difficult, if not impossible. But all the spells were needed, even if it was only to give Merlin piece of mind.

"Well, I can't watch you 24 hours a day…" Merlin paused, hoping she might twig onto what he was trying to say and finish it for him, even if it was to shout at him like usual.

Morgana only gave him an even more confused look than ever, forcing him to continue. "This necklace will allow me to know where you are at all times… _hopefully_." Merlin said the last part quietly, not wanting Morgana to know his doubt that the spell had even worked.

Merlin watched as the gem of the necklace turned from vibrant blue to a deep purple.

"You have to be kidding!" Morgana shouted, (which didn't surprise Merlin in the slightest.) "I am NOT having you stalking me!"

"Actually the whole point of it was so I _don't_ have to stalk you." Merlin replied calmly.

Morgana quickly grabbed the fastening of the necklace and attempted to undo it.

"Wait." Merlin asked rather than ordered, while raising his arms to grab her hands, gently bringing them down and holding them between them both.

Morgana stared at their enjoined hands in shock, but didn't attempt to pull away.

"The necklace is not just for my benefit but for yours as well."

Morgana gave him a questioning look. "Mmm… constantly being on _your_ radar has always been my lifelong dream." Morgana replied sarcastically.

Merlin completely ignored her and continued his explanation. "Without your magic Morgana, you are defenceless without me, defenceless against your enemies and the enemies of Camelot," Merlin paused when he noticed the stone dim down to a lilac colour, and felt a grin at the corners of his mouth.

"_It's working_." He thought.

"This necklace will protect you."

Merlin let out a deep sigh when he had finally finished explaining, and even though Morgana's expression hadn't changed, he already knew he had won, for the final use of the necklace was only evident in the colour of the stone; her emotions. Considering her emotions were the trigger to get her powers back, he needed to keep a close eye on them, and considering how well Morgana was at concealing her emotions, this seemed like the best option. Fortunately the only person who could see the constant change in the necklace's colour was him, preventing anyone from getting suspicious, including Morgana.

"Oh, I see." Morgana said finally, slowly pulling her hands from Merlin's grip which instantly made Merlin draw back his hands.

Merlin was surprised when Morgana fell silent; staring at her bare feet, her necklace turning to an even lighter blue than it was originally.

"Morgana?"

Morgana met his eyes with a big smile on her face. "I'm fine." Morgana replied uncertainly.

Merlin tilted his head to look at her carefully, which only made her loose eye contact and begin to laugh.

"You just wait until I get my powers back Merlin."

It wasn't a threat, well, it didn't sound like a threat, or look like it considering a wide smile was still on her face, convincing Merlin to smile back.

He watched as Morgana strutted to her wardrobe, pulled out a pair of green slip-on shoes and began to squeeze her left foot into it, struggling.

"Looks like you might have grown in the two and a half years since you last wore them." Merlin stated while trying not to laugh; which became far easier when Morgana shot his a warning look.

"They don't fit!" Morgana bellowed, kicking the shoe into the wardrobe door.

"Are you sure?" Merlin asked after a few seconds.

Morgana glared at him once more and began waving her arms in the air like a women possessed. "Of course I'm bloody sure you idiot, did you not just see me try to put them on and fail miserably!"

"_When the necklace turns red, she's obviously angry."_ Merlin noted in his head.

"Maybe you should try again." Merlin suggested chirpily.

Morgana looked at him like he had lost the plot, before giving up and placing her foot into the shoe she hadn't flung into the wardrobe door. To Morgana's astonishment her foot slid in perfectly, as did the other.

Morgana gave Merlin an accusing look.

"Stop that." She ordered before storming over to the door.

Merlin smiled to himself before following behind her until he was at the lead, and opened the door with his magic.

Merlin took a quick glance back to notice Morgana was smiling also, and turned left down the corridor.

* * *

><p>It was gone midday when Merlin waltzed into Gaius's chambers; far happier than necessary, but he couldn't help it. He felt like he had taken a huge step forward with Morgana this morning, and it was only day two. Maybe this wasn't going to be as hard as he thought.<p>

Gaius was stood over his usual workbench, mixing some sort of potion. He looked straight to the door when Merlin walked in, wearing a blank expression.

"Merlin." He greeted, following Merlin with his eyes and body as he speed-walked into his bedroom.

"Good morning Gaius." Merlin replied from his room as he grabbed a few bags from the corner and began gathering various pieces of clothing that covered the floor.

Gaius now stood in the doorway, hands linked in front of him.

"Good afternoon more like."

Merlin looked up from packing to see Gaius staring at him, eyebrows rising as soon as eye contact was made. It was the look that unsettled Merlin often, when he knew Merlin was lying or he had done something wrong.

He held his gaze for as long as possible before he broke under the pressure.

"What?" Merlin asked cautiously while trying to continue packing without actually watching what he was doing.

"Did you knick my breakfast this morning?"

Before Merlin could even attempt to answer, the sound of girly giggling pulled both of their attentions to the front door, where Morgana stood, propping herself up against the door frame in order to keep herself from falling to the floor in laughter.

"Morgana." Gaius greeted in the same tone he had used to greet Merlin, before returning his attention back to Merlin.

"You didn't tell me she was here." Gaius said quietly, annoyance and fear in his voice.

"Morgana's here." Merlin joked as he continued packing.

Morgana walked gracefully to Merlin's bedroom door, standing next to Gaius without making eye contact, like she didn't really acknowledge he was there.

"When you said there were consequences for creating your own breakfast you weren't kidding."

Merlin stared at the still giggling Morgana, before shifting his eyes to Gaius; his jaw dropped in shock.

"Merlin what is she…"

"She knows." Merlin interrupted quickly, dreading Gaius's reactions.

"_Morgana must never find out who you really are…" _Gaius's words repeated in his head; he had promised himself she would never find out, not until there was no hope of finding another way to stop her from destroying his destiny, from destroying Arthur, and the only way to stop her was to reveal his secret to her before she was plunged into death.

Merlin shook the thoughts from his head; the last thing he wanted to be thinking of right now was killing her, destroying the beautiful smile that was being shot his way right at this very moment.

"Anyway Gaius, since when did you have a large bowl of fruit for breakfast?" Merlin asked although he wasn't sure he would get a reply; Gaius's body was like a statue.

"I don't, I had bread, cheese and meat this morning, thought I would indulge in your absence." Gaius replied slowly, though gradually coming to terms with the new information.

"Well you can have it back if you want, since we didn't eat any of it."

Gaius returned back to his shocked state after Merlin spoke. "_It's going to take a while to sink in._" Merlin thought.

Morgana cleared her throat; obviously sensing the awkwardness, before her face wrinkled as she surveyed his room.

"Gees Merlin, your bedroom makes my hovel look good." She stated while eying every inch of mess in disgust. "If you make my chambers this messy or let the rotting smell from your room waft into them, I _swear_ I will rip you apart with my bare hands." She warned while pointing a finger at him for effect.

Merlin merely rolled his eyes.

"Really Morgana? I've been a servant for over six years now. I think I am more than capable of keeping a room clean."

"Well then why don't you keep your own clean then?" Morgana asked while crossing her arms, obviously enjoying the argument, (the necklace told him that much.)

"Because I can't be bothered." Merlin replied simply while slinging as many bags over his shoulder as he could, and striding past both Morgana and a still quite baffled Gaius back into the main part of Gaius's chambers.

It wasn't long before Morgana was at his side, watching him while he shoved a few books, vials and other various instruments that were obviously used for sorcery into yet_ another_ bag. Merlin had decided against putting anything to complicated or too powerful into the bag, including his own magic book just in case Morgana tried anything. He wasn't that stupid as to trust her intentions of wanting to learn good magic, (how unbelievable was that?) but still thought he could teach her something to keep up the pretence that wouldn't be backfired on him.

Merlin took a step back from the bench to see now five bags before him. He was probably going to have to make two trips to get it all back to Morgana's chambers. He didn't usually pack this much, but he didn't want to be constantly returning to Gaius's chambers for things he needed, and defiantly didn't want to be around Morgana in more than a days old clothes, which reminded him he needed to have a bath sometime soon.

"Are you ready now?" Morgana asked impatiently, already heading for the door.

Merlin awkwardly pulled the bags up over his shoulders, gave a quick goodbye smile to Gaius before the physician could gain the art of talking again, and followed Morgana out of the door.

* * *

><p>"Promise me you won't leave me again anytime soon."<p>

Gwen held her husband's hand tightly as they walked along the corridor together. He gazed into her loving eyes, and wondered how he had gone so long without her.

"You know I can't promise that, but I do promise it will have to be a life or death emergency to pull me away again."

"Good." Gwen replied, leaning her head against his chest when Arthur paused walking to pull her into a warm hug. He moved one hand to the back of her head to stroke her soft hair, occasionally wrapping his fingers in the loose locks.

"I love you." She whispered into his chest, nuzzling her body deeper into his embrace.

"I love you to." Arthur replied, placing a gently kiss to her forehead.

Suddenly, his attentions were fixed on the two figures moving down the corridor at a slow pace. It wasn't odd to see Merlin and Morgana walking together since he had finally got over the shock of having her return, and Merlin's absence was highly noticeable since being woken up by George, but this was a sight he didn't expect, especially so soon: They walked side by side, Merlin carrying three bags and Morgana carrying two, and both of them smiling and laughing together just like old times.

Arthur blinked his eyes a few times in case he was seeing things; he wasn't.

Gwen followed Arthur's eyes until she could see what he was looking at, and she was hardly as shocked as he was.

"What's wrong?" She asked carefully.

Arthur had heard her, but chose not to reply. Wasn't it obvious what was wrong? The sight before them wasn't right, it wasn't normal.

"Isn't that what we hoped for?" Gwen tried again, pulling Arthur's face to look her in the eyes.

"I don't like it." Arthur finally spoke, sending chills down his own spine.

What if she had done something to him? What if instead of Merlin helping Morgana change back into her old self, she would change him? After all, he knew Merlin had had feelings for her before, (which he so cleverly caught him out on,) and Merlin was such an idiot he would probably fall for her tricks.

However there was no way Morgana would have ever felt anything for him, except friendship but that was inevitable, Merlin had that effect on nearly everyone, much to Arthur's disliking.

"Arthur, everything will be fine I'm sure, don't worry about it so much. This is a good thing." Gwen reassured him, although he could sense the slight doubt in her voice.

Arthur sighed. "You are right of course." He said smiling, placing a finger under her chin to tilt her head up towards him. "What would I do without you?"

Arthur didn't leave her any time to answer, leaning in to press a kiss to her mouth. Gwen's arms stretched up and around his neck pulling him in deeper, and Arthur's hands moved to caress her sides. Suddenly all worries seamed lost in this moment, like the only thing in the world that was important right now was Gwen, and Arthur wished it could remain like that forever.

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><p><strong>xxx So what do you guys think of this chapter? I hope you liked the Arthur and Gwen bit in there even if it was a bit short, but if you would like me to add a bit more of them to future chapters please let my know xxx <strong>


	8. A Little Too Much Wine

**xxx I got a little bit excited with this chapter and made it a bit longer than my other chapters, but i knew exactly where i wanted to leave it and hopefully you wont be disapointed with it, even though iv'e left it on the biggest cliffhanger yet! So sorry... xxx**

* * *

><p>It had now been a week since she had returned to Camelot. Morgana slumped in her chair, tapping her fingers nervously into the wood of the table. She watched as Merlin knelt down next to her bed to tuck in the remainder of the sheets. She hadn't spoken to him all morning, ever since Merlin had turned her favourite dagger into a hair brush. He had caught her looking at it and assumed she was planning something evil; she wasn't planning anything at all, more, considering her options. And now she was ignoring him to make it obvious she was in a mood with him, (after demonstrating her anger with a few hurtful insults and slightly violent acts of course,) but he seemed to be quite content in ignoring her as well, which only infuriated Morgana further.<p>

She wasn't nervous because of the fight with Merlin however, that wasn't bothering her in the slightest. It was more to do with the event that was happening soon. Tonight, a big banquet was to be held to celebrate the anniversary of the treaty between Camelot and Mercia. She remembered that day all too well; it was so long and boring that she thought she could fall asleep then and there, even if she was constantly tired anyway from her dreams. And then Merlin burst into the hall and drank poison, the idiot. If only Arthur would have drunk it, then she would have been inline for the throne and everything would have been fine, (once Uther was out the way,) but no, Merlin had to be all big and brave and drink the poison because Uther told him to, the tyrant! Merlin saved Arthur's life, and his reward was a very painful near-death experience. He would have been dead right now if she hadn't convinced Arthur to go and get the antidote; that's how she saw it anyway.

And now she had to go through another evening with that boring man, and many other people she didn't want to acknowledge. The only person she had really talked to since being back in Camelot was Merlin. Yes she had spoken to Gaius a little, but hardly anything worth celebrating about. And the only thing Arthur had said to her since releasing her from the dungeons was _'where's Merlin?' _and now she was expected to sit beside Arthur in front of hundreds of people, pretending to be a respectable lady, half-sister of the king. She didn't even have the title of 'The Kings Ward' anymore.

"I don't want to go." Morgana said sulkily, beating herself up inside for being the first person to break the silence.

"That's too bad." Was Merlin half-hearted reply, making Morgana cringe at the lack of interest in his voice.

"Thanks Merlin, that makes me feel _tones_ better." Morgana responded sarcastically, turning her attentions to gaze out of the window.

"Happy to help." Merlin replied, equally as sarcastic as Morgana.

He walked over to Morgana's wardrobe and began searching through her dresses till he pulled out her silvery-white one, and some silver high-heels. He draped the dress over the top of her screen and dropped her shoes beside it.

"Come on, you don't want to be late." Merlin said as he returned to tidying the room.

Morgana gave him evils before stomping over to the screen. Why was he being so frustratingly stroppy? It was her job to be stroppy and she had every right to be, since he was the one who started it when he transformed her dagger into a useless brush!

Ok, so maybe she had overreacted a little and maybe she might have been a little bit harsh, but he still had to apologise first.

"Ok, I'm sorry, but it was all your fault." Morgana blurted out while kicking her shoes off.

Merlin turned round sharply, his angry expression made Morgana feel quite uncomfortable.

"How is it all _my_ fault? You were the one twiddling a dagger between your fingers, what did you expect me to think?"

"I expect you to trust me and…"

"Trust you? You mean like the way you trust me?" Merlin interrupted.

Morgana's heart sank. Why did he have to make everything so difficult for her? It's not like it was easy for her to apologise and he knew that.

"It's only been a week Morgana, there's no way there will be any trust built up between us anytime soon." Merlin sighed, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm down.

Morgana saw Merlin's distress as an opportunity and took it.

"Ok, I'm sorry for playing with dangerous toys and I promise I won't ever do it again." Morgana joked, and felt quite pleased with herself when the side of Merlin's mouth curled up slightly.

"Daggers are not toys Morgana."

Morgana spun on her left foot and grabbed the dress Merlin had put out for her, dragging it across the floor behind her as she went behind the screen.

"Whatever you say." Morgana shot back.

Well that was another fight over and done with, no thanks to Merlin who stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"I still don't see why I have to go." Morgana said conversationally.

She heard Merlin tut from where she was.

"How are you supposed to convince people you can change if you won't even communicate with anyone?" Merlin quizzed.

"I communicate with you." Morgana replied flatly.

"Oh, lucky me." Merlin teased while joining her behind the screen to do the back of her dress up.

Morgana giggled. She had missed_ this_ Merlin since they stopped talking to each other, (not that she would _ever_ admit it.)

Morgana felt Merlin's hands leave her sides and she turned hesitantly till they were face to face. She raised her hand to caress his left cheek, and ran her index finger along the blooded scratch mark under his chin. Merlin's breathing became increasingly fast under her touch; out of pleasure or fear she couldn't tell, but guilt washed over her at the sight of it. She wasn't going to fool herself or him by saying she hadn't meant to do it, because she did, but now she felt nothing but regret; regret for that horrible part of her that still actually cared, the part no matter how hard she tried she could never get rid of, only supress, (Clearly not regretting her actions.)

"I'm sorry." She said again whilst rubbing her thumb against his cheek.

Merlin stared at her hand and fidgeted awkwardly from one foot to the other. He then drew back as quick as he could and placed another wide smile on his face. If you could call this a moment, he had just ruined it completely.

"Honestly Morgana, you've done_ far_ worse in the past, a little scratch isn't going to bother me." Merlin said in a non-serious tone.

He then spun out from behind the screen and nearly skipped to the dressing table and picked up a brush, (not the one that used to be a dagger; that brush had disappeared somewhere when she had lobbed it at Merlin's head.)

Morgana saw no reason to reply, so she sat in silence as merlin ran the brush and his fingers through her black locks, and brought them over her left shoulder. She watched in fascination as he began to braid her hair, almost as good as anything Gwen used to do.

"How did you learn how to do that?" Morgana asked, while staring in owe as he carefully rapped one curl around the other, a look of concentration on his face.

"My mother taught me." He replied quietly.

"That's not surprising; I always pictured you being the mommy's boy." Morgana snorted in an amused way, fighting back the urge to laugh at him for being such a girl.

"Thanks." Merlin said sarcastically, clearly not as amused as she was.

"I'm sorry, continue." Morgana instructed, letting a quiet giggle escape her mouth.

"What makes you think there's more to tell?"

Morgana looked up at him expectantly. He held her stare for a while before sighing and continuing.

"It was when my grandma got ill. She couldn't do anything for herself so my mother and I had to look after her." Merlin paused and Morgana could see the pain on his face from bringing up the memory.

She had never heard him mention his family before, but remembered his mother quite well. She was a bit like her own mother in a way, she was very generous and sweet, and undoubtedly proud of her son. Morgana had liked her instantly and felt comfortable talking to her, talking to her about things only a mother could understand and give advice on.

Merlin's mother: another person Uther turned his back on.

"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to." Morgana said in a gloomy tone.

Thinking about Merlin's mother had brought back the memories of her own mother. She would kill to hear her voice again; her soothing words that comforted her when she had a bad dream, and her wonderful laugh when she returned home covered head to toe in mud. Her voice was mainly the only thing she remembered about her, that and the last day she saw her, she remembered that day all too well; she remembered her mother and father fighting, and she remembered hiding in the shadows and watching them shout ugly words at each other which sent her back to her room in floods of tears. Then her mother came in and held her tight, pressing kisses to her forehead as she said: "_I will always love you my dear, and know that I will always be with you. You have a great destiny ahead of you Morgana and I have no doubt that you will succeed in everything you do, and never let anyone stand in your way…"_ and then, she was gone…

"It's fine, there's not much to tell really."

Merlin's annoying interruption of her thoughts brought her back to the present, her mother's words slowly vanishing from her mind.

"She had such long, brown hair, not a hint of grey, and used to put it in a plat every night to create beautiful curls for the next day. She never asked us to do much for her because she didn't want to be a burden, but she always asked for her hair to be platted before bed."

Merlin paused to inspect his work, circling her to admire the back.

"I know, sad isn't it?" Merlin quizzed while placing his hands on his hips in a sign of accomplishment.

"Yes it is." Morgana replied bluntly.

It wasn't sad at all. It was actually quite sweet really that he cared about her enough to do that, and he actually had a family to care about. She envied him for that. Merlin gave her a funny smirk like he knew she was lying.

"Are you ready?" Merlin asked in a more serious tone than he had used all day.

Morgana gave a slight nod.

"Ready."

* * *

><p>The evening was a drag. If the first feast held for this stupid treaty was bad, <em>this<em> one was ten times worse. People she didn't even_ know_, had the nerve to come up to her and ask "_How are you coping?"_ like she had just recovered from some sort of disease. Arthur had been watching her for the majority of the evening, and gave her a warning look when she scowled at an old woman who had just pinched and shook her cheek like she was nine years old.

At least Merlin had been enjoying himself. For the majority of the evening he flittered between the knights, sharing a laugh and attempting to avoid Gwaine who had been forcing large sums of wine down his throat for the last two hours. And when he wasn't with the knights he was talking to Gwen's maid Morgana had learnt to be called Kayla. She wasn't very impressive looking. She was short and small in all the wrong areas, and had a laugh that could have sent Morgana's immortal army running in the other direction. And she was blonde.

About three hours into the evening and the feast had finally begun. Morgana sat in her old seat at the high table, Arthur on her right and Gwen next to him. Merlin was hovering somewhere to her left, (not that she had been watching or anything,) and nowhere near Kayla thank god.

Morgana had just finished her fifth goblet of wine when he wondered over to refill it. She noted that Arthur and Gwen were deep in conversation before pulling him down by his neckerchief and whispering in his ear.

"Merlin, get me out of here now."

Merlin turned to give her a questioning look, shifting awkwardly in her grasp before whispering back.

"How do I do that?"

"I don't know, think of something!"

Morgana slowly released him and returned back to her food. She could just see Merlin roll his eyes from the corner of her vision, but didn't acknowledge it. He stood dumbly for a few seconds, before turning to fill Arthur's goblet. Then as soon as he was finished, his free arm swung out and knocked over her drink, sending it flying into her lap. Morgana shrieked as the cold liquid soaked through her dress.

"Merlin you idiot!" Arthur barked instinctively.

"I am so sorry my lady, I… I will… umm…" Merlin began to babble.

"It's _fine_ Merlin accidents happen." Morgana spoke sweetly before raising from the table. "I guess that's my queue to bid you goodnight. Your majesty…" Morgana gave a slight nod to Arthur, and then turned to Gwen, "Your highness."

And with that, she left the feast with Merlin close behind her.

* * *

><p>They stumbled into Morgana's chambers giggling like small children; their alcohol consumptions playing a large part in their immature state.<p>

"Honestly Merlin, that was the best you could come up with?" Morgana chuckled breathlessly while stumbling out of her dress in the middle of the room, and falling to the ground.

Merlin lent down to help her up, only for Morgana to pull him down next to her and they both collapsed into fits of laughter, and continued to laugh for some while. Then, for a few minutes that seemed like hours, they just laid there in complete silence, staring deeply into each other's eyes like they had only just met and it was love at first sight. Morgana's arm brushed over his and settled on top. She was so tired and content that she could have fallen asleep right then and there; in the middle of the floor wearing just her undergarments. But moments like these never last for her, and soon she was plucked from her heavenly bliss back to her cruel reality, and the sight of an embarrassed and mumbling Merlin retreating to his room on hands and knees. His words were slurred slightly and he wasn't speaking in full sentences, but she just made out what he said:

"Can't…need sleep…to much wine…goodnight Morgana…"

And then he crawled into his room and kicked the door shut behind him, leaving Morgana still on the floor, alone, abandoned.

* * *

><p>Morgana found it difficult to sleep that night. She hadn't bothered to get into her night gown or anything because she was so tired and dizzy. She just got into bed and tried to sleep, only to fail miserably.<p>

When boredom had completely taken over she huffed loudly and stalked over to her table for a drink of water, bashing her side into a chair in the process. Before she had the chance to take a sip, a hard blow to her head sent it flying out of her grasp and rolling onto the floor. She cried out in pain and shock, and frantically clawed at the rope now around her neck, ripping her flesh. Her attacker then forced her brutally to her knees, whacking her head on the table in the process. She felt tears fall down her cheeks as she struggled to breathe, and her eye lids fought to stay open. Her hands searched the table desperately till one landed on the jug, and with all her strength she lifted it up and waved it around till it collided with his head. The rope fell from her neck and she collapsed to the floor in a heap, turning her body to face the enemy.

She felt her chest begin to heat and suddenly and immense light shot out of her necklace sending the man flying into a wall. Without thinking she ran to Merlin's door, only for her ankle to be grabbed, pulling her down to the hard floor with a thump. Immediately a hand was over her throat and necklace, and she was forced to stare into the eyes of her attacker. He wore a blue servant's tunic and a cold, twisted smile.

"I was informed that you didn't have the aid of magic at the moment, but no matter, no amount of magic can save you now." He spoke while plucking a knife from his boot and raising it above her chest.

Morgana squeezed her eyes shut as tight as they could go, and tried as hard as she could to wriggle out of his hold, but it was no good. He was far too strong and she was in no fit state to be _walking_, let alone fighting for her life. With every second she felt herself take a deeper step into the darkness, and if the lack of air from the hand locked around her throat didn't kill her, the knife about to plunge itself into her heart would. And with no magic to defend herself with anymore, this was most definitely the end.

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><p><strong>xxx Dun dun duh! Sorry, couldn't resist :D So, who do you think the mistery attacker is? And how do you think Morgana will be saved? Please leave your thoughts and ideas! xxx<strong>


	9. From The Enemy To The Victim

**xxx Ok, so this chapter is a little short and i haven't explained who the attacker is yet, (that will be in chapter 10,) but i just had to get this published today! This chapter see's Merlin and Morgana's relationship develop even further, and the beginings of broken!Morgana xxx**

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><p>Needles jabbed at his flame filled heart, warning him of the danger lurking outside. The excruciating pain shocked him out of sleep instantly with a large thud as he rolled of the bed clutching his chest. He felt himself being drawn to the door, like he was on the end of a rope and was being pulled against his will, although something inside him told him to comply.<p>

His pain was completely forgotten when he reached the door, and he heard the faint, muffled sounds of a struggle, a few thumps and a woman's cry that ripped at his chest. Within seconds he was on the other side of the door without making any sound whatsoever, and stopping dead in his tracks at the sight before him; in the middle of the room was Morgana, pretty much where he left her earlier, only with one difference. Crouching above her was a muscular man, pinning her down by her neck and holding a knife over her heart. Then the man spoke, his voice deep and groggy.

"I was informed that you didn't have the aid of magic at the moment, but no matter, no amount of magic can save you now."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Merlin said from the shadows in a dark and icy tone.

The man didn't have any time to react before he was sent flying into the air, crashing into the ceiling before dropping onto the table, breaking in in two. His body was completely motionless, a shard of wood emerging from his chest; Dead.

Merlin's attentions were quickly turned to Morgana, a spluttering mess on the floor. He skidded to her side and dropped to his knees, gathering her shaking figure up and pulling her close. As soon as she was settled in his arms she broke into tears, her body convulsing against his and her hands embedded deep in his shirt. Merlin rocked her back and forth and gently stroked the top of her head, only to find his hand covered in blood. He tried to pull away so he could get Gaius but that only made her shuffle closer, nuzzling her head into his chest.

After a few minutes Morgana tried to speak but she was in too much of a state for it to make any sense, so Merlin just shushed her and told her not to try and talk. He had never seen her so defeated and vulnerable, and it was almost unbearable to watch.

If he would have gotten to her a few seconds later then there would be no Morgana left to save. He knew now that it was the necklace that had woken him from his sleep, and thank god it did, even if it was one of the most painful experiences of his life.

He wondered how the man even got into the room, and then remembered that they were both really drunk when they got back and he forgot to lock the door. It was all his fault, Morgana could have died and it would have been all his fault. They should have never left. He should have listened to Morgana when she said she didn't want to go, and then none of this would have happened.

Merlin felt Morgana begin to fidget in his arms. Her breathing had almost returned to normal, until she spoke again.

"Who, who the h-hell was that?" Morgana sobbed out between sniffs, her body slightly more relaxed than earlier.

"I don't know." Merlin said softly before releasing his hold on Morgana and getting into a stand.

"What are you doing?" Morgana asked in a confused tone, her sobs seemingly quieter now at the loss of Merlin's body.

Merlin took a few small steps backwards.

"I need to get Gaius."

"No!" Morgana cried, her hand shooting out to grab his wrist.

Merlin gave her a questioning look. Her grip wasn't hard or painful like usual, but desperate and clingy.

"Merlin please don't leave me alone." Morgana pleaded as newly formed tears ran down her cheeks.

Merlin gave her a pitiful look, before letting out a deep sigh.

"Can you walk?"

Morgana pondered on this for a moment, and then stretched out her arms in his direction for him to pull her up. Merlin took hold of one hand instantly and the other he placed behind her back to support her weight. She gave out a yelp of pain when both feet were on the ground, falling into Merlin and lifting her left foot off the floor.

"Are you alright?" Merlin asked quickly as his hold on Morgana tightened; concern in his voice.

"My ankle hurts." She replied through gritted teeth, preventing herself from screaming.

Merlin placed an arm behind her knees and the other securely around her back, before pulling her up into his chest. Morgana's arms locked around his neck and he felt her get more comfortable.

As he walked to the door, he wondered how life had got so messed up. Morgana, who had been his enemy for several years, was now curled up in his arms. He had gone from trying to kill her, (or stop her in any way he could,) to trying to protect her. He knew he shouldn't get to close or get too attached because at any moment she could change. How did he know if this was all put on? He didn't. That was why no matter what, he would have to be ready to turn on her as quickly as she could turn on him. He had to be, for the sake of Albion.

"Get the door would you." Merlin asked as they reached the entrance.

One hand was slowly released from the back of his neck to grasp the doorknob, and then quickly sprung back into place once it was open. Her face was then hidden in his shirt when the light from the corridor came rushing in, and he felt the blood from her head seep through. He walked as fast as he could without dropping her, but he was still slightly tired and drunk to move too quickly without getting head rush.

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><p>It was no help whatsoever that Arthur was lurking in the corridor along with the rest of the knights, all of them completely hammered.<p>

"Merlin!" Arthur called all too excitedly.

"Not now sire, can't you see I'm busy." Merlin said while hastily trying to weave through the gaggle of knights.

"Alight! you landed one!" Gwaine chirped in inappropriately upon seeing Morgana in his arms, (still in the undergarments and he _clearly_ did not know it was her.)

"No I didn't you idiot, its Morgana. I need to get to Gaius."

Merlin had absolutely no patience for drunken knights at the moment, considering they were all utter prats when they were wasted. Arthur however seemed to sober up at Merlin's words and desperate expression.

"What happened?" he asked urgently.

"Morgana was attacked in her chambers." Merlin breathed, relieved that he was being taken seriously.

Morgana wasn't moving but she was still awake, one hand still securely round his neck and the other pressed to his chest, feigning unconsciousness to a now worried Arthur and his band of sidekicks. Merlin could see her staring up at him through half open lids, but didn't pay any attention to it. She could have got away with pretending quite easily; that was if she hadn't screamed _"No!" _at Arthur when he suggested Percival take her to Gaius's chambers. The knights looked stunned at her outburst, and Merlin was almost thrown back by it as well.

"_Fine," _Arthur said hesitantly before looking Merlin up and down, "Percival, you go _with_ Merlin and Morgana to Gaius's chambers in case Merlin keels over."

Percival, (who was the least drunk out of all the knights,) gave an understanding nod to Arthur and put an arm out in invitation for Merlin to keep walking.

They were nearly at the end of the corridor when Arthur called his name, making Merlin give out a small growl before turning round.

"Yes sire."

"Did you see who the attacker was?"

Merlin gave a slight grin while he turned back round, in the direction of Gaius's chambers.

"He's still in there."

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><p>Merlin had sat by Morgana's side, holding her hand while Gaius stitched up the gash on her head and bandaged it, treated her ankle and declared it sprained, and applied salve to the rope mark around her neck. Every cry of pain and squeeze of his hand created a new layer of guilt around his heart, chipping away at the barriers he had created to prevent himself from caring about her.<p>

Now she sat at Gaius's table drinking a warm cup of something discussing to ease the pain, wearing one of Merlin's old shirts and a blanket around her shoulders. She stared into the cup like it was a looking glass to another world, one that was definitely tones better than this one.

Merlin sat opposite her drinking his own mug of tea, and reading some book that made absolutely no sense to him at all to pass the time; they weren't allowed back to Morgana's chamber's until Gaius had fully examined the body and the room had been cleaned, which would take a while.

"Thank you," Morgana said suddenly, breaking the silence and interrupting his flow of reading; at least she would of if he had one, "For saving my life, again." Morgana continued.

"It's fine." Merlin replied hesitantly.

Ok, she had just thanked him, and he knew it wasn't a _true_ thank you, (even if it looked and sounded like it,) but it still felt good anyway.

"You get some sleep. You can have my old bed." Merlin stated when he noticed her eyes fluttered in and out of consciousness.

"I'm fine." Morgana replied bluntly.

"Course you are." Merlin said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and getting up from the table.

Morgana protested weakly when Merlin hauled her up in his arms once more, but gave up as soon as she was settled, the blanket falling from her shoulders. He gradually placed her down onto the bed, pulling the covers up over her body and turned to leave, but the slight tug on the bottom of his shirt prevented him from doing so. He looked down at Morgana's sleepy form, her eyes on the verge of tears yet again.

"Merlin," She began softly; Merlin could hear the fear in her voice, "I, could you, maybe stay?"

Merlin felt like his heart was about to shatter into a million pieces, and felt his knees give way beneath him. His head was spinning with different emotions; part of him wanting to stay with her and comfort her, and the other part fighting it away with all its might, but it was no good. He was too far gone tonight for fighting it, so it would have to wait till morning. Right now he was needed right here, and nothing was going to pull him away.

He settled his head into his arms on the mattress, the rest of his body still on the floor, and closed his eyes. He felt a faint warmth on his head and a slight pressure but dismissed it as nothing but his mind playing tricks on him.

Any worrying about getting too close to Morgana was lost in that moment, because he wasn't getting too close at all, he_ was_ too close.

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><p><strong>xxx So the last chapter really explored Morgana and Merlin getting closer, but Merlin always pulling away so i hope this chapter explains why. Your thoughts and ideas are always apreciated and if you find any mistakes i am very grateful if you point them out to me since this is my first fanfiction and im only 15, but really want to improve and make the story even better for you guys to enjoy! xxx<strong>


	10. It's A Matter Of Human Nature

**xxx Hey, so this chapter took a little longer than i hoped but its all from Arthur's POV so it was a little more difficult for me to write, but i hope its ok and don't worry, Merlin and Morgana are still in it. xxx **

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><p>"How do you think he died?" Arthur asked while Gaius noted something down in a workbook.<p>

"Well the large plank of wood in his chest might be a clue." The physician replied without looking up.

"Yes, but the wood is from the table, which is now broken in two so it must have been a great force."

Arthur pondered on this for a moment. How would he of fallen on the table hard enough the break it in half and kill him?

"Oh no, Morgana must have her magic back!"

Arthur began to panic and pace back and forth. She could have had her powers back the whole time and she was just lying about it to get herself back in! How could he have been so _stupid!_

"What makes you say that my lord?"

"Because of the way the body is! She must have used magic to through him into the table because that's the only way it could break!"

Arthur knew he was beginning to overreact a little, but the evidence was so obvious to draw any other conclusion. (Plus he was still a little drunk to be acting rationally.)

"Not necessarily. The table is infested with wood rot sire, so it may only have taken him to fall or be pushed into the table to cause it to snap like that." Gaius replied calmly.

"Oh."

Arthur found himself straightening up slightly to regain his kingly posture, and decided to change the subject.

"So who is he?" Arthur quizzed.

Gaius gave the body a quick once over before drawing his conclusion.

"Well the blue tunic and the Mercian crest on his front suggests than he's only a servant, however I found a rather unusual tattoo on his neck."

Gaius pulled down the top of the dead man's tunic to show Arthur the tattoo. It wasn't a very impressive tattoo, just a few broken circles with a pointed wavy line going through it.

"And what does that tell you?"

"It tells me that this man, is an assassin," Gaius paused to let the information sink in," Now whether he was hired by Bayard I cannot tell you, however I suggest you find out as soon as possible since its more than likely that they will try again, they always do."

"Of course."

Arthur turned to the knights that were standing quietly behind him, (looking rather bored,) and pointed at them.

"Go and arrest Bayard." He ordered like it was as simple as picking berries from a tree.

"But en't he like a king?" Gwaine asked unhelpfully.

"Don't worry we've done it before." Leon replied with a sigh.

They all left the room together; the knights in front surrounding Leon as he told the story of the first time Bayard came to visit, and Arthur and Gaius side by side.

"Goodnight sire." Gaius said as he turned in the direction of his chambers.

"Goodnight Gaius."

Arthur locked Morgana's door behind him and headed towards the council chambers. Dawn would be in a few hours and he hadn't had any sleep yet, but Gwen was probably asleep and he wouldn't want the knight's inappropriately barging in with information and waking her up.

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><p>Arthur had just dropped off when the knights came crashing through the doors to the council chambers, informing him that Bayard had fled in the night with only a few of his guards. There was no denying now who was behind Morgana's attack.<p>

When Gwaine suggested they torture the servant's into confessing his plans, Arthur ordered that they all be escorted out of Camelot. The chances were the servants wouldn't know anything anyway, but Arthur had never believed in torturing people for information, that was a cowards approach.

He then dismissed himself to his chambers and settle into bed, placing a protective arm around his wife and snuggling into her warmth. It didn't take long until he was sleeping like a baby.

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><p>Arthur contemplated kicking Merlin awake, but found it very difficult to disturb the scene before him. Besides, waking Merlin would most definitely wake Morgana as well considering she was curled around his head and shoulders that were rested on the edge of the bed, her hand placed on his head with her fingers entwined in his hair. The sight could have almost been peaceful if he didn't know who any of them were, but since he did it only scared him.<p>

If he would have seen this a few years ago he would have probably locked Merlin up for it, but now there was no doubt that if anything happened between them it would be Morgana pulling the strings, the evidence was lying before him.

"How long have they been like this?" Arthur asked the old physician beside him.

"I don't know sire, they were exactly like this when I came home last night." Gaius replied uncertainly.

Arthur signalled to the door and Gaius followed him out, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible.

"Doesn't that bother you Gaius?" Arthur asked carefully.

Gaius looked stunned at his question, and was hesitant to answer. Surely it had to bother him more than it did Arthur, because Merlin was like a son to Gaius, so it must worry him that Merlin was getting so close to a sorceress. Arthur still loved Morgana even after everything she had done, but he struggled to see her as anything different, even without her powers. He hoped one day he would be able to trust her again and she would earn that trust, make up for everything she had done but he struggled to see that happening. Morgana hadn't made any effort to even talk to him the whole time she had been back, (apart from trying to save her neck,) let alone make amends.

"Does what bother me my lord?"

"That," Arthur replied while waving his arm towards the door where Merlin and Morgana were sleeping, "How close they are getting."

Gaius seamed hesitant to answer, and gave out a deep sigh.

"No my lord, it doesn't bother me, but it does _concern_ me."

Arthur was relieved that it wasn't just him that had a problem with it. Gwen always acted quite overjoyed by it whenever he mentioned it and had told him he was being paranoid, but now Gaius was on his side so he knew he wasn't going mad.

"Very well, I'll assign someone else to watch over her."

"Arthur, Are you sure that is wise?" Gaius asked quickly.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Arthur asked in an annoyed tone.

"It's just, Morgana may be a powerful sorceress…"

"She _was_ a powerful sorceress." Arthur interrupted.

"Right, _was_ a powerful sorceress, but she_ is_ still a human being…"

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"Arthur!"

Arthur was stunned and almost embarrassed when Gaius yelled at him, and felt like a little child again. The one person he would never back chat to was Gaius, (probably out of fear of giving the poor man a heart attack,) and it would remain that way.

"Sorry," Arthur said stubbornly while crossing his arms and standing a little taller, (he was the king after all,) "Continue."

Gaius moved to pick up the kettle and placed it on the fire, and then prodded at the wood below with a poker idly.

"Gaius?"

"It doesn't matter anymore sire." Gaius replied quickly in a bored tone.

"Gaius." Arthur persisted.

Gaius abandoned the poker to start putting some medicines in his bag, and took a few sips of some tea he already had made, (why he just put more on Arthur didn't know.)

"I just think that it's a little too late." Gaius said unexpectedly.

Arthur released his arms to his side. Too late? What did he mean too late?

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked while giving the physician a confused look.

Arthur already thought he knew the answer but tried to push it away. Unfortunately the look Gaius gave him indicated that the answer he thought was right.

"Too separate them." Gaius said like it was completely obvious.

Arthur turned on his heel and headed to where Merlin and Morgana were sleeping.

"I doubt that." Arthur retorted when he reached the steps.

"Well I'm off to do my rounds."

And with that, Gaius fled the room.

"Merlin." Arthur called when he opened the door; no response.

"Merlin!"

Just like he suspected the first time he was in the room, waking Merlin would wake Morgana, but instead of her waking up like a normal person, she decides to scream the house down! (Not to mention burst Arthur's ear drums.) Morgana shot up from the bed into a sitting position, (while still screaming,) and forgot to let go of Merlin's hair, pulling him up with her and making him scream as well in pain.

Arthur covered his ears with his hands and began shouting at the pair to shut up. When Morgana saw Arthur her fear quickly turned to anger and she finally released Merlin's hair with a not-so-gentle push.

"What the hell are you doing scaring me to death like that!" Morgana bellowed at the top of her voice while smoothing down her hair.

"Ow cramp! Cramp! CRAMP!" Merlin screamed while pulling his left foot to his chest and rocking back and forth.

"Don't be such a _girl_ Merlin!" Morgana teased.

"_That's my saying!"_ Arthur told himself sulkily. Now she was stealing _his _insults! How dare she!

"Well that's what you get Merlin for sleeping in stupid positions." Arthur mocked, (he had to say something; it was too funny.)

Arthur pretended not to see Morgana staring daggers at him as he hauled Merlin to his feet with a stern grip on his shoulders.

"Ouch! What is it with Pendragon's and being so rough!" Merlin cried as he hopped on one foot and cradled his ankle.

"Sorry." Morgana apologised instantly while rising from the bed to support his weight, and still continued to give Arthur evil looks.

Something inside Arthur told him she wasn't looking at him like that because he woke her up. He remembered that look from when they were younger, and when Arthur did something that she didn't approve of. If she wanted him to apologise to him then she was going to be disappointed.

"Are you ok now?" Morgana asked Merlin sweetly, battering her eyelids like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

"Yes, thanks." Merlin replied while giving her a little smile.

"_Oh dear…"_ Arthur thought, _"He's buying her act. That was the most fake smile ever, how could he now see that!" _

It was only when Morgana limped passed him did he notice she was pretty much wearing nothing but a top; Merlin's top. This was getting ridiculous…

"Does anybody want some tea?" Morgana asked while picking up the kettle from the fire place with a tea towel.

"You can't make tea." Arthur stated irritably.

"On the contrary, there's a lot you don't know about me _Arthur Pendragon_."

Arthur gave Merlin an appalled look when he started giggling.

"It's not _funny_, _Merlin_."

"I'd love some thanks." Merlin called back, completely ignoring Arthur and walking swiftly passed him.

Arthur watched in horror as they stood side by side at the table; Merlin beginning on making breakfast since Morgana had batted his hand away when he tried to help with the tea, and both of them talking in hushed tones and giggling like small children.

The last time he had seen them together he had described it as _'just like old times'_ but it most definitely wasn't. It was something much more.

"Merlin."

Merlin looked up from his work, ceasing giggling immediately and gave Arthur an innocent expression.

"A word." Arthur asked as he signalled with his head back into Merlin's room.

Merlin reluctantly dropped two eggs back into a bowl and stalked to him bedroom, eyes fixed on the ground and walking far too slowly for Arthurs liking. As soon as he was in, Arthur secured the door shut and leaned against it.

"Arthur what's wrong?" Merlin asked; genuine concern in his voice.

"Nothing, _yet_."

Merlin gave him a puzzled look, tilting his head in confusion making Arthur sign deeply.

"Merlin, you do realise that Morgana is still off limits?"

"Off limits?"

"Yes." Arthur said with more aggressiveness than he intended.

Merlin seamed to twig on to what he was getting at and began to nod slightly, however his expression was far from an understanding one.

"All I'm saying is that, you shouldn't get yourself too emotionally involved in your job." Arthur replied flatly.

Merlin pondered for an annoying amount of time, before smiling as he came to some sort of realisation that made Arthur worry a little.

"Are you worrying about me again?" Merlin asked, his smile growing wider as Arthur hesitated to answer.

"Of course not…"

"Sure…" Merlin mocked while crossing his arms over his chest stubbornly.

"Fine, I'm worried, yes, I'm worried about the_ insane_ thought of having you as some sort of brother-in –law!"

Arthur stared dumbly at Merlin who was finding this absolutely hilarious, and then he found himself laughing a little. The whole brother-in-law thought hadn't even crossed his mind; until he mentioned it. The idea was preposterous! And not what he should be worried about considering he was trying to get Morgana to be a better person, not shatter her love life, and the truth was he honestly was worried about Morgana hurting Merlin or turning him evil or something. But what if Morgana's closeness to Merlin wasn't some weird trap to manipulate him? What if it actually was her true feelings?

Arthur thought back to what Gaius said to him earlier about her still being a human being. What if he meant that Morgana was craving closeness to other human beings, since being deprived from human company for so long, and loosing so many loved ones? Arthur was surprised that he was actually feeling some sort of empathy towards her, after all, had they not _both_ lost their parents? Morgana twice considering she thought that Gorlois was her farther, and for over ten years she believed she was alone in the world, no parents, no siblings. And then they all came flooding in from different directions, Morgause first and leading her down the wrong path, a path that would have been so enticing to her since it promised her family. Arthur remembered seeing his own Mother and how irrational he had become because of what she had told him. Everything she told him were lies but he believed them because they came from his _supposed _Mother's mouth, and he was so enraged that he tried to kill his farther, like Morgana did.

Suddenly the sound of smashed and screaming shocked him from his thoughts, and he felt like he was flying as Merlin instantly yanked on his arm and pulled him out the way of the door, almost ripping the door of its hinges as he fled the room and nearly hitting Arthur in the face with it.

Arthur drew his sword as he rushed into the room, only to find it completely empty bar him, Merlin and Morgana.

Morgana sat in middle of the room clutching her knees, two smashed cups of either side of her rocking form, the floor and her body utterly drenched; Arthur guessed it was tea. Merlin was at her side within seconds placing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her in, and she made no attempt to escape his hold, her eyes fixed on the doorway.

Arthur sheathed his sword and stood awkwardly for quite a long time, extremely relieved when Merlin asked her the only question that was going through his head.

"What happened?"

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><p><strong>xxx So, the attackers identity is finally revealed, yay! <strong>**As always i love to hear your ideas so any thoughts on what happened to Morgana? **

**Plus, the same as last time, if you see any mistakes, please let me know! xxx**


	11. The Promise

**xxx I'm back with the longest chapter so far, and... no cliff hanger! Horray! It was difficult but i managed it. Although i doubt it will last... :D Lots of emotions being thrown about in this chapter and Morgana goes through some serious mood swings, but i hope you enjoy it. xxx**

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><p>What happened? The question burned in her mind over and over again, a painful mantra that she couldn't shake away. Her eyes were still fixed on the doorway, frozen in fear. She hated herself for being so weak again just as she had regained her strength, but the very thought of him watching her, circling her existence until she crumbled into nothing, was terrifying. What could he possibly want from her now? Was she really doing so much harm just being in Camelot that he would still want to bring about her doom?<p>

No. she hadn't seen him. It was just her imagination playing tricks on her, trying to break her. Well she wouldn't allow it. She would fight back and ignore her fear, because there was nothing to be afraid of. Her scare last night must of just shook her up a bit more than she thought and now she was expecting things to get worse, like they always do. But they won't, not this time.

Morgana shook her fear away and stared deeply into Merlin's worry filled eyes, placing a large, fake smile on her face to reassure him.

"I'm fine, I just burned myself with the tea and dropped the cups in shock, and then I slipped over." She said with a laugh like the whole situation was funny.

Merlin gave her a disbelieving look, but joined in with her laughter anyway so she didn't feel too uncomfortable.

"I said you couldn't make tea." Arthur mocked after the laughter had died down.

Morgana shot round to give him an annoyed glare, whacking Merlin in the face with her curls in the process, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Oh, and I suppose _you_ could do better?" She questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Probably." Arthur replied with a pleased look on his face.

"Ugh, you are so up yourself!" She insulted him with even more malice than she felt, but she wasn't in a good mood at all, so Arthur could suffer.

Morgana turned her attentions to the broken crockery on the floor, and she began scooping the mess up in her hands. It took her a while to register two sets of hands, and wasn't surprised to see Merlin helping her. Before long they created a steady rhythm of Morgana placing the collected bits into his hands, and him going to put them in the bin; even though there was a perfectly good broom in the corner, but she didn't feel her body could cope with getting up off the floor yet. So she would just sit there and pretend she felt fine, watching Merlin move back and forth across the room till he got dizzy.

"Arthur."

Morgana got so annoyed when Merlin broke their flow to see who was approaching the door, (_Guinevere,) _that she slammed the next lot of broken pieces into his hands to get his attention again, which made him wince a little but carry on.

"Guinevere, what are you doing here?" Arthur asked as he approached his wife.

"Gaius informed me you were here," She paused and stared down at the mess surrounding Morgana, "Is everything ok?"

Morgana didn't reply. She couldn't talk to Gwen, how could she talk to Gwen? After all Morgana had betrayed her and tried to kill her more than once. She had reason to betray Uther, and Arthur, and even Merlin, but Gwen did nothing to her but unintentionally stand in her way. And Morgana had cared a lot for her before, but now she was just another enemy, they all were.

"Just a little accident, that's all." Merlin finally answered for her.

Sometimes, she swore Merlin could just read her mind. It could be to do with the necklace, or it could be something to do with his magic considering all the times he ruined her plans in the past, but she hoped, it was just an instinct.

"Ok." Gwen smiled at him, not making further eye contact with Morgana, (_thank god_,) and turning her attentions back to Arthur. "Luckily I had a bath made for you because frankly, you stink of wine, and the kitchens are preparing us a picnic so I want you ready in half an hour." She ordered excitedly.

"Um, Gwen…" Arthur started before being interrupted.

"Oh no, _please_ don't tell me your backing out on me, you said you were free _all day_!" Gwen cried while gripping her hands on the sides of his jacket.

"I _was_ free, but then…"

"Is this about the attack?" Morgana chimed in, surprising herself that she had actually found the courage to speak.

Now everyone was looking in her direction, making her feel somewhat awkward.

"Um, sort of, you see we discovered who is was and we think they were hired by Bayard, although we can't be certain…"

"What? What attack?" Gwen asked as she searched her husband for injuries.

Arthur took her hands from his face and held them close.

"Not me, it was an attack on Morgana, and I…"

"Arthur its fine," Morgana began, giving Merlin an unsure look before continuing, "What could you possibly achieve today that you can't tomorrow? And I'll just stay here with Merlin today to be safe..."

"Stay alone with Merlin? Why does that _not_ reassure me that you will be safe?" Arthur huffed.

"He kept me safe last night didn't he?" Morgana defended with crossed arms.

"What if Gaius doesn't want you handing out in his chambers?"

"I'm sure he won't mind." Merlin said while placing the last pieces of broken cup in the bin, and reaching a hand out for Morgana to take.

Morgana gracefully took his hand and he helped her to her feet with his other hand under her arm for extra support, and thankfully didn't let go or she would of most likely fallen straight back down again. She put on another smile to hide the pain she was feeling as she waited for Arthurs reply, and then self-consciously began pulling as Merlin's top she was wearing to cover more of her legs, wishing she was still on the floor again. Compared to Gwen she looked an absolute wreck; Gwen's hair was pulled back with silver slides decorated in blue jewels into an elegant bun, loose bits of hair framing her face, and she was wearing a light blue dress made of silk with silver lace criss-crossed over the upper part. Morgana couldn't deny that she looked beautiful, and there was no doubt that she suited the queen look, but she also couldn't deny the jealousy she felt towards her.

"_Ok_, but I'll have some guards placed along the corridor in case of an emergency. And I suppose Leon can handle the investigation for a few hours." Arthur finally replied uncertainly.

Gwen looked like she could start dancing with happiness then and there, but instead she just leaded forward and grabbed the sides of Arthurs face, and pulled him in for a kiss. Morgana had never seen them kiss before, and there was only one word to describe it; weird. Not only because it was Arthur and Gwen and she had never seen them kiss, but also never imagined it would ever happen considering he was the king and she was a servant, them being together was almost unreal.

However, it was kind of sweet. Morgana was always a sucker for the forbidden love fairy tales when she was a little girl, but never imagined it happening in real life. After all every little girl wanted the handsome prince to come and rescue her from her _miserable _life, and not the cute and clumsy serving boy that could give her nothing but the thrill of breaking the rules; although she did enjoy breaking the rules. She had always known she was going to be queen one day, although before she had always thought it would be by Arthur's hand in marriage. Now, _thankfully_, she could make it by herself.

Morgana was too wrapped up in her thoughts to noticed being placed on the bench until she felt Merlin removing his hand from her back. She glanced up at him and gave him a thank you smile, and then turned her attentions back to Arthur and Gwen who were side hugging like usual and giving her cautious looks.

"Why are you still here? Go on, _go,_ have a nice time and all that." Morgana said hurriedly with a wave of her arm to shoo them away.

Just before Arthur could retaliate, Gwen spun him round by his shoulders and ordered him to get ready, placing her hands on his back to give him a gentle nudge out the door.

"Alright, alright, I'm going!" Arthur responded with a laugh and sped his pace up a little till he was out the door, Gwen giggling right behind him.

"Gwen!" Merlin called just before she left the room.

"Yes?" She replied over her shoulder.

"I don't suppose you could ask someone to fetch Morgana some clothes from her chambers could you?"

Morgana rejected the sympathetic look that Gwen shot her way, and fixed her eyes on the floor.

"Yes of course, I'll do it myself." Gwen said quickly, picking up the sides of her dress as if to make a run for it.

Morgana's eyes shot up to her in shock.

"You don't have to do that." Morgana argued.

"I know I don't, it's just I know where everything is in your chambers so it will be easier for me to find than a maid. And besides I don't really like asking people what to do even now that I am queen but I like to treat people with the respect they deserve and considering I know what it's like to be in there position…" Gwen paused to catch her breath, and Morgana felt the sides of her mouth curl up at Gwen's familiar babbling. "And besides Arthur will take ages to get ready and especially when it's a special day out or and important meeting or something so I'll only be waiting around for about an hour for him to get ready with nothing to do and Arthur…"

"Gwen…" Morgana interrupted before she would get a headache and to stop Gwen embarrassing herself further.

"Yes?" Gwen asked quietly with the same innocent and embarrassed look on her face that Morgana was so used to.

"It's fine, if you wish to go and do this for me then that's your choice, after all it's not like_ I_ can stop you from doing anything you wish."

Morgana ignored the angry glare she could see Merlin give her from the corner of her eye, and continued to stare Gwen out until she gave in. it wasn't long before Gwen's eyes shifted around the room uncertainly and then settled on Merlin, and Morgana scowled at him as he gave Gwen one of his sweetest smiles.

"I won't be long." She stated to him while retreating from the room backwards, and Merlin gave her a thankful nod.

After Gwen closed the door and her foot steps could no longer be heard, Merlin was stood right in front of her with his arms crossed, and he did _not_ look happy.

"Why did you do that?" Merlin almost shouted at her, but the anger behind his voice made Morgana flinch back anyway.

"Do what?" She asked innocently.

"You don't have to talk to her like that. She's done nothing to you!"

"You know _nothing _Merlin!"

"I know that she deserves a _hell_ of a lot better from you after what you've done to her!"

And here they go again. A lot of things had changed between them during the past week, but their frequent and quite enjoyable arguments were nowhere on the list; besides the fact that they were no longer enjoyable. They were, for the majority quite hurtful, and left Morgana thinking about things that she promised herself never to think about again. she never intentionally wanted to bring on an argument and had no doubt that they were usually all Merlin's fault, but in ways she needed them to remind her that this wasn't a life that she wanted to get settled into, that she_ couldn't_ get settled into if she was going to be on her throne once again, claim her revenge on everyone who had hurt and betrayed her, and make her sister proud of her. After all Morgause had given her own life so they could destroy their enemies and Morgana could gain what was rightfully hers, and she was not going to stop until she had achieved just that, and there was no way she was going to let her sister's death be in vain.

"Done to her?" Morgana began again. "You mean tried to kill her like the rest of you? Well in case it has slipped your notice Merlin, she's not the only one I haven't been addressing _politely_ or _respectably _and just because Guinevere is _queen_ now, it doesn't mean she will be getting any special treatment from me!"

"Except she's the only one you truly don't have a reason to hate!"

"Oh I have a reason Merlin…"

"Oh really? So Gwen being in love with Arthur was enough reason to try and have her killed _numerous _times, destroy her relationship with him a _day _before the wedding and to leave everyone thinking that Lancelot would betray his king and was a coward to take his own life!"

Morgana couldn't think of a reply to that. How on earth did he know about what she did to Lancelot? Mind you, how on earth did he know about a lot of things, but still if he knew about it then why didn't he put a stop to it and ruin her plans like usual?

"I haven't tried to kill Gwen _numerous _times…"

Merlin placed his hands out in front of him as if to start counting.

"Once, when you framed her for enchanting Arthur, twice, when Arthur could of easily of had her executed for adultery, three times in the woods when you turned her into a deer, and four times when you tried to run her through with a sword! I think that counts as _numerous_ times, don't you!"

Morgana let out a guilty sigh, not bothering to think of anything to counter that since she knew he was right. She had never realised it was that many times though; that's probably more times than she had tried to kill any of them, (not that she counted.)

"How do you even know this?" Morgana asked in a calm, defeated tone, her eyes drifting to the floor.

Apparently, calmness was far from Merlin's mind.

"Because I'm the one that had to go around _fixing_ your mess and saving her, not to mention everyone else you tried to bring to an end!"

"Wait…" Morgana started, her eyes suddenly snapping up to his and noticing he was a lot closer to her than before. "The day I lost my magic and Arthur took back Camelot, I got thrown across the room… that was _you_?"

"Yes." Merlin replied simply while crossing his arms.

"You could have killed me!"

"You could have killed Gwen!"

"Oh right, so_ her_ life is more important than mine?"

"Absolutely!"

That was the final straw. All this time she believed he _actually_ cared for her and it was all a lie. She had let him comfort her, let him tell her stories and look after her, and it was all just an act.

Her hands shot out and pushed against his elbows sending him stubbing backwards slightly, but then his hands were suddenly up in defence as she began slapping furiously at his arms and chest. To her surprise that only made him edge even closer, and he swiftly grabbed her wrists to prevent her from any more hits. Her legs thrashed out and she kicked at him as hard as she could, not caring at all for her injured ankle and she was shouting; words she couldn't even make out.

"Morgana stop it!" Merlin cried desperately, his grip on her wrists increasing in pressure.

"I hate you!" She shouted back over and over again to convince herself that she meant it.

With a large moan, Merlin yanked her sideways and she slid onto the floor with him, crying out when her knees collided with the hard surface. Morgana still continued to struggle all she could, but her new position prevented her from kicking and Merlin's hands where still securely around her wrists. She could already feel herself tiring out, and as her body began to relax Merlin's hold began to soften. She took several deep breaths to calm herself down, and before long her eyes were filled with tears and her head was sagged on Merlin's left shoulder, whimpering into it. She then felt a soothing touch in her hair and she let her now free hand travel up to Merlin's chest and wrap itself in the soft fabric, exposing more of his bare neck for her to nuzzle into.

"I didn't… I didn't _want _to kill her." Morgana sobbed out as loud as she could to make sure he heard her, and she felt him sigh deeply into her hair. "I hoped…I wanted…"

"It's ok." Merlin whispered while he released his hold on her other hand and brought it to her back.

Morgana's head jerked up at this, her eyes searching his for something that couldn't be found.

"No, it's not ok." She replied seriously as she shrugged his hands off of her, but still kept her hold on his shirt. "I could have killed her and I don't think I could have ever forgiven myself…"

"Morgana…"

"No Merlin, your right, and I know you will never understand my reasoning but, all I was hoping for at the beginning was for Uther to banish her, and that would be the end of it." Morgana said, not even bothering to stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks and willing Merlin to try and understand. She knew she didn't deserve it, but she really needed it. "But then Arthur had to be stubborn and wanted to leave with her so they could both take the throne and I just panicked! I didn't know what to do and Morgause said…"

"I don't want to hear about what Morgause said, Morgana."

Morgana moaned to herself and tried to get her breathing back on track, and failed miserably.

"I know you probably blame her for the way I am but…"

"Of course I blame her!" Merlin shouted again which made Morgana flinch back slightly.

"But Merlin you didn't know her like I did." She said as confidently as possible.

"I didn't need to. Everything would have been fine if you hadn't met her…"

"You don't know that." Morgana interrupted with a shake of her head.

"I know that if she hadn't of used you as the vessel then I wouldn't have had to poison you, and then you wouldn't have gone missing and spent over a year with Morgause filling your head with crap!"

Morgana was momentarily stunned. Part of her wanted to scream back at him and defend her sister, but part of her wouldn't allow her to. Because truth be told, yes she was more than willing to help Morgause bring about Uther's downfall, but she wasn't prepared for the consequences that came with it. Before Morgause she had never wanted to loose Arthur, or Gwen or even Merlin, she hadn't even had the desire to take the throne, only see Uther off of it.

"You can't change the past Merlin," Morgana said before a long pause, "Can you?" She asked hopefully.

"No…"

"Right, thought so. As I was saying, you can't change the past, it has shaped every event leading up to this very moment, and it will shape every event in the future whether we like it or not. It happened, and now we all have to live with it, forever."

Morgana took his hand that was rested on his knee, and gave him a sad smile. However, the look she received in return was quite the opposite, a look she barely recognised on his face; determination. He brought her hand in the air with his, entwined their fingers together and looked deeply into her eyes.

"I am _not_, going to give up on you. I don't believe that the future is set in stone, and that it's not too late to change it if we truly want to and I will do_ everything_ in my power to see that happen."

Merlin gripped her hand tighter in reassurance and Morgana felt tears well up in her eyes once more, only this time is wasn't out of fear, or pain, or anger, but out of happiness.

Before she could even thing about her actions, Morgana flung her arms around his neck and fell into his lap; his arm quickly moving to the floor behind him to stop them from tumbling over. She sobbed gently into the side of his face, her cheek pressed against his as she whispered.

"Promise?"

It wasn't a question, it was a plea. A desperate plea that she knew she would wish she never asked for tomorrow, and that's why it was needed. She was a mess right now and wasn't really sure what she wanted, (whether it be revenge and the throne or a happy life as someone less important than she could be,) but the thought of having someone fight for her gave her the best feeling she had had in a long time.

Merlin's other hand came to rest on her back and bring her in further, and he whispered in her ear just as softly as she did.

"I promise."

Morgana found herself giggling now at the whole situation and how weird it was. For one, she hadn't hugged anyone in a very long time, and two, she had just had a scrap with the person she was hugging. But still the new warmth she felt in her stomach was the most reassuring feeling she had felt in a long lime, a feeling that everything was going to be alright and nothing could possibly go wrong now, nothing could ruin it.

"Merlin…"

Morgana quickly retreated away with the sound of someone else in the room. She fell backwards and slid across the floor until her back hit the bench behind her, and she looked up to see Gwen, clothes over one arm and shoes in the other.

Merlin cleared his throat and smoothed down his shirt before looking her in the eyes.

"That was quick." He said in a cheery tone.

"Actually I have been gone quite a while. Arthur's already waiting for me at the horses." Gwen replied shyly.

"Oh." Merlin said simply before getting to his feet and taking the clothes off of her.

Morgana returned to staring at the ground like she had the last time Gwen was in the room, waiting patiently for her to leave and hoping she doesn't mention the scene she had just walking in on.

"Thanks Gwen." Merlin said sweetly while placing the clothes down on the bench above Morgana's head.

Morgana watched her give him a friendly smile and turn to leave. It would have been so easy to watch her just walk away, pretend she wasn't even there and that nothing had happened, but she couldn't.

"Gwen." Morgana called hesitantly, looking up while playing with a strand of her hair.

Gwen turned but said nothing, a blank expression on her face.

"I'm sorry." Morgana breathed quietly and returned her gaze to the floor like she hadn't said anything, until she bucked up the courage to look her in the eye once more.

Shock was written all over Gwen's face as her gaze shifted between Morgana and Merlin. His expression was equally as shocked, however a large smile covered it up instantly.

"T-thank you." Gwen stammered out, smiling uncertainly at Morgana before leaving the room.

Morgana exhaled deeply, feeling just as shocked with herself as Gwen was. She looked to the hand that was now placed on her shoulder, and then up to look Merlin in the eyes; he was grinning like a mad man.

"First step of your long journey to recovery," He said while extending his hands to help her off the floor, "Complete." He finished when she was in a stand. Once he and Morgana were happy she wasn't going to fall back down again, his hands travelled up to her shoulders and began to caress her arms. "I'm proud of you."

Those words caused sparks to start in her heart. The warmth she had felt in her stomach spreading wider; this was it. This was the path she was going to choose, the path she _wanted_ to take, the path she was destined for all along. Apologising to Gwen had given her a feeling that she hadn't felt in a long time, and she wanted to feel it. She suddenly realised how sick she was of all the hate, and how desperately she wanted some of the love back. This was right. This _had_ to be right, because she had nothing else. She was alone in the world, and that was the worst feeling she had ever experienced.

And her debt to Morgause seemed minimal now, because wasn't her debt to herself greater than that? Surly she would want Morgana to be happy, even if it was to give up on her dreams. How could they possibly be dreams if they were only going to make her miserable? After all, there she would be, on her throne, ruler of Camelot like she wanted and deserved, but who would be by her side? Who would be her allies? The knights and the people never submitted to her reign, and she had no sister of wealthy king to support her any more. She had no one.

No one except Merlin.

When Morgana threw her arms around him for the second time, he instantly wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her closer. She had Merlin, till the very end, he pretty much admitted it himself. Maybe things weren't going to be so lonesome after all…

* * *

><p><strong>xxx Thoughts? I really wanted to bring Merlin and Morgana closer in this chapter, but not in a simple way so i hope it was believable enough. Next chapter might take a few days so i tried to make this as long as possible.<strong>

**If you see any mistakes please tell me so i can fix them, till next time! xxx**


	12. What's Hidden Beneath

**xxx Finaly, chaper 12 is here! and so is the moment we have all been waiting for... xxx**

* * *

><p>Four days had gone by since Morgana's attack, and Camelot was officially at war with Mercia. Apparently, Mercia had been planning war for a long time, but after finding out Camelot had a potential witch on their side, they knew they would stand little chance of winning. However, everyone knew that the witch was powerless, defenceless for the time being, and that's why they decided to remove the problem before it was too late.<p>

After the Mercian messenger had departed from Camelot, the preparations for war had begun. Of course Arthur had tried every tactic to make peace with Bayard, but had no success.

However, the news of war had very little effect on Merlin, besides the constant knowledge that he should be by Arthur's side, like usual, helping him in any way he can and protecting him from harm. He knew that when the war came, he would have no choice to leave with him, he had to, it was his destiny and even if it wasn't, he couldn't let anything happen to him.

But then there was the small problem of Morgana, the women that was at this moment sat by his side and leaning her head on his shoulder. They were sat at her table like they had been the past three days, studying magic.

The first day Morgana had taken to it with so much enthusiasm, Merlin thought he could sit there forever and teach her, just to see that beautiful smile and inspiring burst of energy she had when she was getting everything right, thinking of ways she could use that skill to protect the kingdom. She listened intently to every word that came out his mouth, watching his every move with those enormous, emerald filled eyes, and the way she pursed her lips together when concentrating sent his mind spinning off to wonderful new places.

And then came day two. Day two wasn't a bad day either; however it wasn't a very effective one. Morgana's interest wondered off after maybe an hour or two, and it wasn't long before a pillow was thrown at his head and they were both on the floor on opposite sides of the bed, throwing as many harmless objects at each other as possible. Morgana was the first one to run out of ammunition, (since Merlin was able to keep magicing up pillows,) but that only led her to pounce over the bed and wrestle him to the floor, attacking him with her fingers until he admitted defeat.

They crashed not long after, completely wiped out of energy.

And now it was day three.

"Merlin."

"What?"

"I'm _bored_."

This is what day three had become; a living hell of Morgana's annoying questions and moaning. When silence wasn't killing them both painfully slowly, Morgana would be asking: _"What does this do_?" or _"How many times have you done this?"_ _"Do you think I could ever do that?" "Has studying magic always been this boring for you?"_ and other irrelevant questions like that. And now she was leaning on his shoulder, (probably struggling to stay awake,) and muttering the obvious.

"If you're bored Morgana you can always tidy up since the room is in such a_ state_ from last night."

Morgana's head flew off his shoulder at this, and she gave him a horrified look.

"Why on earth would I do that? That's your job." Morgana huffed while crossing her arms defiantly.

"_One_, I'm not your servant Morgana, and _two_, what was that you were saying last week about being _independent _now?"

"I'm hardly independent when I'm cooped up in hear all day with _you_!"

"_Ooh_, touchy." Merlin mocked with a fake, hurt expression on his face.

Merlin watched as Morgana's back suddenly straitened, and a pleased look washed over her.

"I just had a_ brilliant_ idea!" Morgana beamed excitedly before hoping out of her chair.

"Not again…"

"Shut up _Merlin_ and come on!" She exclaimed while grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the chair.

"Where are we going?" Merlin asked nervously, trying to stay up right with Morgana's frantic pulling on his arm.

"I don't know! That's what makes it fun!" Morgana replied with a mischievous smirk.

Merlin pulled Morgana back from the door by the same hand that was dragging him across the room, and turned her to face him.

"You know Arthur said we're not allowed to leave the castle…" Merlin said wearily.

"And you always do what _Arthur _says do you? I never pictured you as Arthur's bootlicker…"

"I'm not Arthur's bootlicker!" Merlin protested.

"Good. Then _come on_ then!" Morgana replied with another tug on his arm, pulling him out the door in no time.

"I'm not _your_ bootlicker either!" Merlin argued back in a hushed tone since they were now in the corridor.

"Whatever you say Merlin." Morgana whispered back, pushing them flat against the wall before checking the coast was clear in the next corridor, and then dragging him quickly across it so they weren't seen.

Merlin vaguely remembered doing this when he was about ten with Will, sneaking around Ealdor pretending they were spies, and either ambushing his mum, scaring a poor rabbit to death or attempting to knick a cabbage from the farmers garden, (they always got caught and chased by the farmer's wife with a broom.)

And now he was being dragged around the castle by Morgana, hiding from everyone like they were criminals even though they weren't actually doing anything wrong by wondering in the corridors, but at least Morgana looked like she was having fun. Well, fun wouldn't really be the right word for it, she more seemed like she was on a mission and even though she said she didn't know where she were going, there was not an ounce of hesitation when it came to which corridor to turn down next. Her hand was still clutched tightly to his like he might try and escape, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as he might of thought being dragged around by someone who has obviously momentarily lost the plot would be.

It was only when she took a right turn and began running down those stairs that lead beneath Camelot, did he start to panic. Those stairs only led to two places, if they turned left, they would be at the vaults, if they turned right, they would be at the top of that long staircase that led to the underground cave that used to be the dragons prison.

They turned right.

* * *

><p>"Morgana, we shouldn't be down here." Merlin whispered desperately as they reached the bottom of the stairs, and entered the cave that he was so familiar to.<p>

It seemed like a life time since he had been there, standing right where he was now, holding a torch like he was now and alone like he wasn't.

"It's not like we're breaking the rules, technically we haven't actually left the castle and it's not like there's a huge dragon down here that's going to jump out and eat us!"

Merlin watched Morgana in astonishment as she pulled her high-heel shoes off and chucked them on the ground behind her.

"You can't be serious? You're not really thinking of going down there are you? It could be dangerous!"

Morgana merely tutted at him and lifted the ends of her purple, velvet dress, and made her way down the small staircase that led to the bottom of the cave.

"Where's your sense of adventure Merlin? Left it in your room along with your comfort blanket?" Morgana mocked while peering up at him from her point on the stairs, and gave him an expectant look.

With a sigh, Merlin reluctantly began to follow her down the stairs.

"It's not a comfort blanket. I just like it because it's really warm." Merlin shot back once he was just behind Morgana on the stairs.

"Yeah, because_ that's_ the kind of blanket you want during the middle of summer." Morgana replied sarcastically.

Merlin scowled at the back of her head while clenching his hands into fists. This was stupid. What could have possibly possessed her to want to come down here? After all, it most definitely wasn't attractive, in fact it smelled a bit, and all that was down here was a tone of rock.

"You never know," Morgana started once they reached the bottom, "We might find some rare objects like a dragons tooth or a scale or…"

"Or a giant clump of dragon poo, yes, very appealing…" Merlin finished while trying to keep up with her fast pace.

"You are such a pessimist Merlin." Morgana insulted from over her shoulder, before coming to a stop for him to catch up, (he did have the torch after all.)

"That _has_ been said. However I always get proven right in the end…"

"What do you know about the dragons?" Morgana asked quickly.

Merlin came to a halt at her unexpected question and nearly tripped over a rock.

"Nothing much, just that Uther had them all killed during the great purge, and now they are extinct, why?"

"You don't really believe that do you?"

Merlin didn't know what to reply to that. Was she implying that they _weren't_ extinct? Because the only people that knew differently were him and Gaius, so why would that thought cross her mind?

Mind you, Morgana was a powerful sorceress, and she did found out about Emrys, so maybe she does know about the dragons after all.

"Believe what?" Merlin asked, feigning ignorance.

"That the dragons are extinct." Morgana said simply, clearly not seeing the weirdness in her question.

"Don't you?" Merlin quizzed; eager to find out what the hell she was getting at.

Suddenly Morgana crouched down and started padding the ground.

"It's wet." She stated.

"Well there _is_ a giant hole in the top of the cave. It's probably just rain water." Merlin replied flatly.

"No, like I've already pointed out once today, it's the middle of summer, there is no rain…"

"Well it is a dark, cold and shabby cave, it's not warm enough in here to get rid of it…"

"The dragon must have had water to live," Morgana interrupted while getting into a stand and snatching the torch out of Merlin's hands, "There must be a water supply or something down here."

Why on earth did Morgana care about water? This was just getting ridiculous. Who would have thought that he would be following Morgana who was following a stream of water that _yes_, it was inevitably getting bigger the deeper the further into the cave they went, but still, it was just water, not interesting in the slightest.

"Do you see that?" Morgana whispered while pulling him closer; since when was he holding her hand again?

"See what?" Merlin whispered back.

"There's a light up ahead…come on!" Morgana said enthusiastically.

"If you tell me to come on _one_ more time…" Merlin whispered under his breath.

* * *

><p>For what seemed like hours they wondered deeper into the cave, following the stream of water, (which was now more like a river,) that Morgana was so fascinated with. They had been in the cave so long that the torch had gone out a while back and they were now relying on his magic to light the way.<p>

Merlin had tripped a grand total of three times, and also managed to trip Morgana once by accidently standing on her dress, which earned him a half-hearted whack on the back of the head, before she trudged on like nothing had happened.

"My feet hurt." Merlin moaned for the second time in the last hour.

"At least you're wearing shoes." Morgana replied while hoping from one rock to the other.

"That's because I wasn't _stupid _and took then off before venturing into a cave which _obviously_ had rough ground." Merlin shot back.

"If I didn't take them off I would be covered in blisters by now."

"As opposed to cuts and scrapes up to your ankles?" Merlin asked in a mock-sweet voice.

"Quit your complaining…"

"I'm thirsty."

"Magic-up some water then."

"Magic water tastes vile."

"Go and drink from the water we're following then."

"It could be contaminated."

"Well then I suggest you stop talking because it seems like you won't be getting any water for a while!" Morgana replied; more than a little irritated.

"For all we know it could be dark already and there could be a patrol out looking for us!" Merlin continued to moan.

"Go back and leave me here then…"

"No…"

"Then shh… were almost there now anyway."

Morgana quickened her pace making it harder for Merlin to keep up. Where the hell was she getting all this energy from?

Merlin suddenly crashed into something and fell to the floor with a loud moan as his elbow collided with a rock. It was only when a hand was placed in front of his face did he realise he had walked into Morgana.

"Clumsy." She said with a laugh.

Merlin took her hand and let her pull him to his feet. He wasn't surprised in the slightest by how easy it was for her to do so.

"What's with the sudden stop?" Merlin asked while clutching his elbow.

Merlin watched through confused eyes as Morgana began to undo the laces at the back of her dress, and dropped it to her ankles with little effort as it slid off her silk, lilac under-dress.

"We're here." Morgana replied simply.

"Where?"

"At the light you idiot."

Merlin was abruptly pulled into focus at the sight of Morgana about to dive into the water. His arms shot out like a flash and were wrapped around her waist, pulling her back from the water.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at!" Merlin scolded as he maintained his hold or her waist, surprised that she wasn't trying to struggle; at the moment.

"There's obviously daylight on the other side of this wall, all we have to do is swim under it and were there!" Morgana replied excitedly.

If Merlin had a free hand, he would be smacking his forehead with it. The girl had gone mad! He could understand her need to get out the castle, but not if it might result in death!

"Are you out of your mind? You have no idea how deep it is, there could be man eating sea creatures in there or the wall could be too thick and you would drown before you reached the other side!" Merlin shrieked, panicking himself with all the different thoughts of how this could end badly.

Morgana turned her head to look up at him with an amused look on her face, eyebrows raised.

"_Man eating sea creatures_? You read too much Merlin." She teased with a ridiculously endearing smile on her face.

Merlin gave her his most dis-pleased look he could muster up, and released her slowly.

"We're going back." He ordered with crossed arms, almost daring her to defy him.

"Fine." Morgana huffed as she snatched her dress from the floor and began to storm of. She waved her arm at him, signalling him to move; he did.

It wasn't till he heard the loud splash behind him, did he realise what an idiot he was. He turned round sharply and saw the dress crumpled at his feet, and no Morgana.

"Morgana!"

Merlin ripped the jacket off his back, (While murmuring curses under his breath,) and dove into the water after her.

The water was a surprisingly comfortable temperature, and eased his aching body more than any bath could. If it wasn't for the fact that he was underwater and chasing a mad woman, he could have probably relaxed there for a bit.

The stretch of cave that went out towards daylight wasn't as long as he assumed, but long enough to make him panic. He couldn't see Morgana, and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad one. And was she really going mad or was this some sort of clever plot to try and escape? Not that she was even a prisoner really.

He hit the open water on the other side of the cave with a large gasp, calling out Morgana's name between large intakes of air. He registered a hand clutching his arm, pulling him sideways, and let himself be dragged through the water and up onto a ledge. He flopped onto the ground on his back, and began rubbing his eyes back to clearness.

"You followed me."

Merlin pulled himself up onto his elbows and tried to focus on the figure standing above him.

He didn't know why he was surprised to see Morgana, considering she was the one he was following, but if she was trying to escape, she was going about it all wrong.

"Yes." Was all Merlin could manage to say before sitting up sharply and spluttering out more water; clearly he needed to get some swimming practice.

"I hoped you would." Morgana replied while patting him on the back and then pulling him to his feet.

"Oh, isn't it _beautiful _Merlin?" Morgana said as she took in their surrounding's in awe.

It was indeed beautiful, almost like a dream. The healthy grass beneath their feet stretched out for miles, blanketing the hillside. The trees on his left were the tallest he'd ever seen, and almost all of them spurting juicy fruits and harmonious flowers. The water they had just emerged from had turned out to be a beautifully clear lake, stretching out in front of him until it eventually thinned out and came to a stop near the end of the cave.

There was no denying that this place hadn't seen man in a very long time, a world hidden behind Camelot, (in fact Merlin couldn't see any signs of Camelot at all,) and he felt somewhat privileged to be there.

"I could stay here forever." Morgana gasped out as she went to her knees and settled down on the grass.

Merlin instantly dropped down beside her, his head pillowed in his arms and his eyes fixed on Morgana, and the way the sun that shinned brightly above them ignited her glistening eyes and radiant smile…and the small beads of blood dripping from her head.

"You're bleeding." He said as he gave her a concerned look and rose to her level.

Merlin swiftly untied the damp neckerchief from his neck and carefully dabbed it against the open wound on her head.

"The stitches must have come open from the force of the water." Merlin concluded.

Morgana didn't flinch back at all, only stared at him, a fondness in her eyes that he hadn't seen in a long time.

"I never pictured you as a nature kind of person." He said conversationally.

Morgana's eyes flickered down to the blades of grass that she was idly running her hands through, and smiled to herself.

"Maybe I just haven't had the chance to really, _appreciate_, the beauty of things recently." Morgana replied with an adorable snigger, but Merlin could see the slight pain that washed over her features.

"Well, it's never too late for change." Merlin replied as he placed the neckerchief on the ground and stared up at the sky.

"Tell yourself that everyday do you?"

Morgana's eyes locked on his as she waited for an answer, and Merlin tried _desperately_ not to push the long lock of hair that waved in the wind behind her ear… and failed. His warm hand wiped across her smooth skin, grazing her hair with the back of his fingers before placing the stray strands of hair behind her ear, and dropping his hand to his knee.

"Sometimes twice a day." Merlin said with a smile, which only grew wider when Morgana burst into laughter and fell into the grass.

She propped herself on one elbow to face him as he settled by her side.

He didn't know how long they stayed there, but he did know that she was happy, (the constant smile and fiery blue colour of her necklace was a giveaway,) and he was most definitely happy.

When he decided the sky had turned dark enough, he reluctantly got to his feet, wiping the odd pieces of grass off his trousers and then helped Morgana up also.

"Can we come back again?" Morgana asked hopefully.

"Sure, maybe next time we can bring a picnic and practice some magic." Merlin replied sarcastically, which only gained him a heart-wrenching frown from Morgana. "Do you really think I'm going to let you jump back through there? You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Not my fault you're in bad shape." Morgana argued back as she waltzed over the edge of the lake.

"I'm _not_ in bad shape, and I didn't mean a heart attack because I was drowning or whatever…"

"I know…you were worried about me." Morgana replied in a near sing-song voice.

Merlin took a deep breath to stop himself from arguing back, (even though she was right.)

"The point is, I don't want you doing it again." Merlin said calmly.

"Oh but it's_ amazing_ here and it's private and it's…"

"Dangerous." Merlin butted in before she could get too carried away.

"But you can fix that." Morgana stated determinedly.

"What?"

"With _magic_."

"But I can't just…"

"_Please…"_ Morgana begged, and yes, she was actually giving Merlin the puppy face, (likes _that's _going to work.)

"Fine." Merlin huffed out.

He took a few steps closer to the entrance of the cave, made a big show of cracking his knuckles, stretched out his left hand and took a deep breath.

"Ic ábíetee pæt stánhol."

Suddenly the rock surrounding the entrance to the cave began to crack and crumble into the water, leaving behind a perfect arch shape.

Merlin crossed his arms smugly and turned to see Morgana's reaction.

"Have I ever told you you're _amazing_?" Morgana asked as she jumped into the water.

Merlin quickly dived in after her, and waited for Morgana to stop faffing with her hair to give his answer.

"No." He replied while spitting water out of his mouth.

"Ok, just checking." Morgana said with a giggle, and grabbed his hand to pull him under the water.

They swam side by side until they shot up in the newly formed archway of the cave for air. Morgana took one more look back at her new favourite place, and then started to retreat backwards into the cave, holding onto Merlin's hand to help keep herself afloat.

* * *

><p>It was dark by the time they returned to the castle, and relatively harder to sneak back to Morgana's chambers. When they reached the corridor to Morgana's chambers, they stopped sneaking completely, both of them extremely tired, hungry, and thirsty.<p>

"I think I'm going to collapse right here." Merlin moaned.

"Don't be such a_ girl_, it should be me that's complaining."

"I didn't see you giving_ me_ a piggyback through a giant stretch of cave." Merlin scoffed as he rubbed his aching arms.

"Who would have believed that you would be such a gentleman Merlin." Morgana mocked with a giggle as she used Merlin's arm to drag her along.

Suddenly, Arthur turned into the corridor and began to head in their direction.

"Arthur." Merlin whispered in a panicked tone as he pushed Morgana into the nearest alcove.

"Merlin…what are you doing loitering in the hallway?" Arthur asked before looking Merlin up and down. "Wait, why are you wet?"

"_Not good, not good…" _Merlin thought to himself as he tried to come up with a descent lie. _"Think, THINK!"_

"I was carrying buckets of water to Morgana's chambers because she wanted a bath and I tripped and spilt water all over me…"

"Of course you did." Arthur said in a very believable tone. "Where's Morgana?" He then asked quickly to prevent Merlin from retaliating.

"In the bath." Merlin replied in an obvious tone.

"Right, and that's why you're in the corridor."

"Yes."

"Good."

Arthur walked away cautiously, not taking his eyes of Merlin until he rounded the corner. Merlin heard Morgana give out a huge sigh of relief when he was gone, and he quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her into the room.

"No wonder you kept your secret for so long Merlin, is he always that gullible?" Morgana asked between fits of laughter.

"Pretty much." Merlin replied while running his fingers through his hair.

"Although a bath does sound quite appealing right now…"

"No way_,_ there is _no way_ I'm going to be lugging buckets around at this time of the night! Especially when I can't even feel my arms right now anyway!" Merlin protested.

Morgana fell onto her bed and laughed into her pillow.

"I'm only messing with you. You're so funny when you're all stressy." Morgana teased before throwing a pillow at his head.

Merlin quickly dodged the pillow and laughed as he retreated to his bedroom. He paused at the doorway and both of their amusement quickly died down.

"Good night, Morgana." Merlin said with a smile.

"Goodnight Merlin." Morgana replied with a friendly nod.

Merlin's eyes flashed golden and the lock from the bedroom door snapped into place, locking them both in, and then he hesitantly walked backwards to shut his door.

"Oh, and Merlin." Morgana called back just before the door shut properly.

Merlin peered round the door and stood silently.

"I had a really nice time." Morgana said while rising from the bed to collect her nightdress.

"Me too." He replied, and then shut the door.

Merlin let out a deep sigh and began to undress, and then began laughing to himself when he realised, the item of clothing he would always take off first, his neckerchief, was gone, left behind in paradise.

He peeling the wet jacket and top from his back and replaced it with a comfortable night shirt, (convinced both he and Morgana would probably have a cold in the morning,) slung on his night trousers and flopped into bed, prepared for a long, well-earned rest.

* * *

><p>However, sometime in the middle of the night Merlin's hopes of a decent sleep were shattered, when the sounds of screams and a burning feeling in his chest quickly woke him for the second time that week. The pain wasn't as bad as the previous time, but the fact that he now knew what the burning feeling meant, terrified him more.<p>

He shot out of bed and was out the door in a flash, only to see Morgana crumpled up in her bed and clutching the blankets tight.

"Morgana?" Merlin asked carefully.

Merlin placed himself on the edge of the bed and her arms were instantly around his waist, pulling his close as she cried into his shoulder.

"It's ok, it's ok…" Merlin soothed, his hands now around her also, one of them smoothing over her tangled locks. "What's wrong?"

This caused Morgana's grip to tighten and her cries to get increasingly louder.

"Morgana?" Merlin tried again, only to receive a vigorous head shake against his chest.

Merlin pulled her away by her shoulders to look at him, and held them strongly in desperation.

"Morgana, I can't help you unless you tell me what the matter is." Merlin said desperately.

"He's, h-he's coming for me!" Morgana cried out before she tried to shake of Merlin's hands.

"Who? Who's coming for you?"

Merlin hadn't realised how fast his heart rate had become, a near equal match to the terrified girl in front of him.

It didn't matter that it had only been nearly two weeks that Morgana had been back, proving that she can be the person she once were. Merlin has seen a side to her that he had never laid eyes on before, a side to her that was beautiful and happy, and a side that was fragile and needed to be nurtured and protected. And he knew that whoever was after her, he would protect her with his life.

"Merlin, He's going to kill me!" Morgana shouted at him, taking hold of his shoulders as well and digging her nails in hard like she was in some kind of agony.

"Who!" Merlin asked again, fighting back the urge to wince at the newly forming pain in his already aching arms, and trying to focus on getting through to her.

Morgana's eyes were locked on his and frozen open in fear, he mouth opened but nothing came out several times before she took a deep breath of air, trying to find courage that had been momentarily lost. Her nails dug further and further into his numb flesh, as she prepared to speak the name of the man who haunted her mind.

"Emrys!"

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><p><strong>xxx Well, here we are, the climax of the story. Any thought's for this chapter or what might happen next? <strong>

**Next chapter should be up by next week. If you see any mistakes please let me know so i can fix them xxx**


	13. Confessions

**xxx Hey guys, as promised heres chapter 13 at the start of the week, however it is slightly short. Next chapter might be up tonight or tomorrow night at the latest. Warnings for physical violence in this chapter, nothing too serious though. xxx**

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><p>There was only one explanation he could come to; Morgana wasn't going to change and he would be forced to take matters into his own hands. And even though he hated to believe it and tried his hardest to come up with another reason, that was the only rational explanation he could think of. Why else would he try to kill her?<p>

However, a huge part of him could only focus on the guilt he felt for causing such a reaction from Morgana. She was terrified of him; reduced to nothing but an irrational, snivelling wreck at the very mention of his name. Perhaps he had pushed her too far, so far that she was having nightmares about him that were only figments of her imagination, and not dreams of the future.

That was a possibility he could deal with, a possibility that he could fix. He couldn't think about killing her now, not after how close he had gotten to her, and how much he felt she needed him, even in her sleeping state. He could sense how much being there for her right now and holding her was comforting her, albeit he didn't know how. Her necklace was a mix of black and pink, (luckily he could tell because it glowed in the dark,) and it was hard for him to understand.

Another thing that was on his mind was that in her dream, he would have been in his eighty year old state, however she knew about his magic now so why would he bother?

Merlin pulled the blankets up over Morgana's shoulder, turned his head into one of her pillows and tried to get some sleep; his worries would still be there in the morning.

* * *

><p>Merlin blinked the sleep from his eyes and looked around uncertainly. The first thing he noticed was Morgana's absence from his chest, and the blanket pulled up to his neck.<p>

"Sorry." Merlin heard from the blurriness, somewhere to his right.

When his eyes were finally awake, he noticed Morgana knelt on the floor, picking things up from the floor.

"I didn't mean to wake you." She said quietly while placing a candle stick back on the draws next to the bed.

"You didn't." Merlin replied as he lifted himself into a sitting position and eyed Morgana carefully. "What are you doing?" He asked curiously.

"Tidying up, I hate it when my room is a mess and it seems only fair that I do it considering I made most of it, and you looked like you needed the rest." Morgana confessed.

Merlin blinked hard, convinced he was imagining things; he wasn't. Morgana was actually considering someone else for once. He wanted to say: _"Stage two of recovery, complete." _However thoughts of what she told him last night stopped him.

"I see." He said finally, before stretching widely and pulling himself out of her bed. "Are you hungry?"

Morgana shook her head and continued tidying. She hurried round the room picking up everything in her path, her eyes darting round for places to put them, and never glancing back at him.

"_Maybe she doesn't remember what happened last night."_ Merlin thought to himself, and also thought that if she didn't remember anything, she would probably be worried about why he was in her bed.

"So…" Merlin said casually, flopping into a chair and pouring himself a glass of water. "About last night…"

"I don't want to talk about it." Morgana interrupted bluntly while slamming a hair brush onto her dressing table.

"Ok…"

"No, I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped at you like that." Morgana apologised quickly as she rubbed her hands over her face.

Merlin tapped his fingers on the table nervously, contemplating whether to speak or not.

"How long have you been awake?" Merlin asked hesitantly as Morgana took the seat opposite him with a loud sigh.

"A few hours, the rest of the castle is awake already."

"Right, you shouldn't have let me sleep." Merlin replied as he began to fiddle with his sleeve.

"I was, thinking." Morgana said quietly.

"About?"

It was a silly question really, considering he knew what she was most likely thinking about, and she had also just said she didn't want to talk about it, but he couldn't help being insanely curious.

"I think I know what he wants me to do." Morgana said confidently.

"I don't understand." Merlin replied cautiously.

"I was told that Emrys would be my doom, and he has thwarted my plans ever since and I am more than confident that it's his fault I lost my magic, he would be the only one powerful enough…"

"I don't see what this has to do with anything…"

"I don't want to die Merlin." Morgana said desperately, fear in her voice once again. "I will _not_ give _him _the satisfaction of destroying me."

Merlin shot up from his chair and made his way to Morgana's wardrobe to hide his worried expression.

"What are you going to do?" Merlin quizzed.

Morgana's expression quickly changed from determined back to fearful once more.

"I need to see Arthur, and hope that…I don't know…I guess if I don't try I…"

Morgana's voice quivered away until it was too difficult for Merlin to understand, so he just nodded and passed her a dress, before pulling his shirt off on the way to his room.

"Could you, maybe come with me?" Morgana asked as she made her way behind the screen. "And not just because you have to, but because I'm asking you to."

Merlin quickly did the belt up on his trousers and stumbled back into to Morgana's chambers, slightly confused.

"It's just, I really don't think I could do it alone." Morgana pleaded while walking out from behind the screen and holding up the laces for Merlin to take.

Merlin took them instinctively, and did them up while Morgana picked her nails nervously.

"Of course, whatever you have to do, I'll be there." Merlin promised.

"Thank you." Morgana breathed, her nail picking ceasing immediately.

Merlin led her over to the dressing table and began brushing her hair like he had every day since the banquet.

"Whatever happens, you won't let him hurt me, will you Merlin?" Morgana asked while fiddling with her already brushed hair and biting at her bottom lip.

"Who, Emrys or Arthur?"

"Both, but its Arthur I'm worried about at the moment." Morgana admitted.

"Why would Arthur want to hurt you?" Merlin asked carefully.

"You will see." Morgana replied after a long pause.

* * *

><p>They made their way to the council chambers slowly, Morgana looking like she was going to make a run for it at every turn. Merlin held her hand supportively till they reached the doors, and then she released it after a tight squeeze.<p>

"Morgana." Arthur greeted in surprise.

He was in the middle of a meeting, (probably something to do with the war Merlin guessed,) with Gwen by his side, the knights and a few council members.

"I'm sorry, you're busy… I'll come back later." She said before spinning on her heels and retreating back out the doors.

"No it's fine," Arthur called back, causing Merlin to grab her shoulders and encourage her back into the room, "we're not getting anywhere anyway, come in." Arthur continued while gesturing her to enter.

Morgana gave a helpless look to Merlin before walking back into the room, Merlin's hands still on her shoulders.

"Well, I had hoped that maybe we could talk alone." Morgana said shyly.

"Of course. Everyone take a break, we will continue in an hour."

Everyone got up from their seats, (the knights a little more hesitantly,) and made their way out the doors.

"Gwen can stay." She said when Gwen began to get out of her seat.

Gwen looked down at Arthur for a second before sitting down again, and took his hand in hers.

The doors closed with a large crash, and all four of them were left completely alone. Merlin's hands slid awkwardly from Morgana's shoulders, and he held them behind his back.

"Well?" Arthur urged her on with an expectant look on his face.

Morgana took in a deep breath and took a few steps forward.

"Arthur, there's something I need to tell you. Something that," Morgana paused to take another encouraging breath of air, "Something that I did, that I think you should know about."

Arthur gave her a hard, emotionless look that Merlin knew well enough to tell he was trying to hide his worry.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I…it was…that is I…umm…"

"Spit it out." Arthur said harshly, and Merlin gave him a displeased look because of how insensitive he was being.

Merlin already thought he knew what she was trying to tell him and understood why she was finding it difficult to confess it, and how Arthur's behaviour definitely wasn't helping.

Suddenly, Morgana was running over to him, her eyes already filled with tears.

"I can't do it, I want to go back." She cried silently, and Merlin's hands were instantly wrapped around hers.

"Listen to me," He began in a soothing voice, quiet enough that only she would be able to here, " Whatever it is, you can do it. You are the strongest person I know and you have overcome everything life had thrown at you." Merlin paused to appreciate the smile he was receiving from her and nearly lost what he was saying. "This should be a piece of cake."

Morgana gave a light giggle before wiping her eyes with the back of her hands and walking back to the place she was standing previously. She looked back at him with uncertainty, and seemed satisfied with the encouraging smile she received.

Arthur looked somewhat confused by what had just happened, his mouth hanging open slightly and his hand loose in Gwen's grip, and Gwen was giving them both a soppy look, (clearly over reading what had just happened,) like the look she gave when that old theatre group visited Camelot for Uther's birthday many years ago.

"I want to apologise to you both." Morgana started; a new born confidence in her voice that she hadn't entered the room with. "Although I know that what I say cannot undo the hurt I have caused you, I hope that, it might prevent future issues, and fix any hurt that you might have buried and tried to forget."

Morgana looked back again, more to see if Merlin was following than anything, before taking another deep breath.

"Gwen never kissed Lancelot out of her own volition… I enchanted her." Morgana confessed, her eyes fixed of the floor.

Gwen gasped in shock and even Merlin was taken aback, considering all he knew was that Lancelot was a shade, (although he should have guessed,) but Arthur's expression remained unreadable.

"What?" Arthur asked after a thoughtful pause, clearly pressing for more information.

Under the pressure of Arthur's stare, Morgana's words began to stutter once more.

"Lancelot, that was I…I mean it wasn't him…it was magic, and Gwen, that was magic too, I mean what she did was…"

"Magic, I get it." Arthur finished for her, a sound in his voice that made Merlin nervous.

Arthur pushed back his chair and made his way around the table to stand in front of Morgana, and she made a few small steps backwards.

"_Why?" _He breathed out, his attempt to contain his anger failing him slightly.

"Do you really expect me to answer that?" Morgana replied defiantly.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner!" Arthur bellowed causing Morgana to flinch back a little.

"Arthur." Gwen began, but stopped when Arthur glared back at her.

"Because I knew you would act like this!" Morgana shouted back.

"Of course I would! You had me believe that my most honourable knight would betray me like that and that the women I loved had feelings for another! Do you know how much pain and suffering you caused us both!"

"Of course I did, that's what made it even more fun!" Morgana spat back instinctively, making Merlin panic; this was definitely _not _going to plan.

Before Merlin had time to react, the back of Arthur's hand collided with Morgana's right cheek, nearly sending her stumbling to the ground. She let out a soft cry, and Arthur's angry features quickly began to fade into guilt, a hand trembling over his mouth in shock at what he'd done.

"Arthur!" Merlin yelled as he moved between them both.

He held his stance until Gwen had rushed over to her husband, and then turned his attentions to Morgana. Her hand was still clutching her cheek and tears were falling more freely from her eyes, (out of pain or shock Merlin couldn't tell,) but she didn't make a sound. She just stared at Arthur, her eyes wide open and her breathing uneasy. Merlin cursed himself for ever letting this happen, and praying that this wouldn't be what sends her over the edge and back into the darkness.

"Are you ok?" Merlin asked carefully, trying to gain her attention again.

"Morgana, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…" Arthur began, Gwen's hands rubbing his shoulders as she stood in front of him.

"Don't." Morgana barked out, her hand falling from her reddened cheek and laying stiffly at her side. "You must be so proud," Morgana said sarcastically, her eyes narrowing dangerously, "There's another thing you and Uther have in common."

"Morgana…"

"I'd be careful of what you say around _him_ Gwen." Morgana warned spitefully, before grabbing Merlin by the hand and marching out of the room, rendering both Arthur and Gwen speechless, and Merlin just wisely keeping his mouth shut.

* * *

><p>Morgana slammed her chamber doors behind her and kicked her shoes across the room. Merlin stood awkwardly out of the way of flying objects that had only just been put in the right place again, and hoped she would calm down some time soon. He could hear her mumbling from where he was, saying them with a little more emphasis as she smashed something to the ground.<p>

It didn't take long before she collapsed to the floor, hands in front of her face as she cried. Merlin slowly began to kneel beside her, and hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder. Morgana lent into his touch and then gradually came closer and closer until Merlin could fit his whole arm around her.

"You're not angry with me?" Morgana asked between sobs, looking up at him with tear filled eyes.

"Why would I be angry with you?" He asked back in confusion.

"Because of what I did, to Gwen." She replied with a sniff while twiddling her hair between her fingers.

"Of course not, what happened, happened, it's in the past now and there's nothing anyone can do about it." He answered honestly; glad to see a smile appear once again on her face.

Morgana nodded in agreement, and laughed when Merlin brushed the tears from her face. His hand lingered slightly on her reddened cheek and she bit her lip nervously as he examined the mark.

"Does it hurt?"

Morgana shook her head and got to her feet, making her way to stand behind him.

"I think I'm going to take a little nap, will you sit with me?" She asked quietly.

"Of course." Merlin replied before shrugging his jacket off.

He didn't have time for anything else, as he was dragged by an impatient Morgana to the bed, half pushed onto it and she flopped at his side, her head resting in the crook of his neck and her arm possessively over his chest. They didn't bother with the covers but Morgana's warmth was enough for him. However he placed his arm around her shoulders to pull her in closer and keep her warm just in case.

For a moment he wondered why he let himself be upgraded from servant to human pillow, but then he found that he didn't really care why, in fact, he didn't care at all.

However, he found that he did care when he awoke later that afternoon to an empty feeling, and a cold weight around his wrist. He stared in confusion at Morgana's healing bracelet hanging off his right arm, and then began to wonder aimlessly around the room, looking for something he already knew was gone.

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><p><strong>xxx So. Morgana's run off, any ideas where she might be or what she might be doing? i hope this chapter wasn't to disapointing considering most of you were probably expection a different reaction from her. however this is just the begining...<strong>

**If you see any mistakes, please let me know so i can fix them, thankyou xxx**


	14. One Step Closer, Two Steps Back

**xxx Hey guys, im sorry this chapter is later than i said, however i have re-wrote it three times because i just couldn't get it right, but i hope its ok now. xxx**

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><p>"Morgana what are you doing here?" Gaius greeted at he opened the door to his chambers.<p>

Morgana stood dumbly in the door way, unable to get her words out. The truth was that she didn't really know why she was there, considering how badly her meeting with Arthur had gone, and after a _very_ bad run in with Gwaine she should be running for the hills as planned, (or trying to anyway.)

"Where's Merlin?" Gaius then asked in a worried tone while peering round the door, making sure he definitely wasn't there.

"Sleeping." Morgana answered shyly, struggling to look him in the eye. "May I come in?"

Gaius eyed her wearily, distrust obvious in his eyes.

"I know you have no reason to trust me, Gaius, especially after what I have done to you in the past, but I…"

"Say no more," Gaius said while putting up a hand to stop her talking, "Come in."

Gaius opened the door wider and stood sideways to let her in.

"Thank you." She said with a small smile before walking in.

She looked nervously around the room before slowly taking a seat at the table, and watched as Gaius prepared some tea, some ice cold water and a cloth. She didn't say anything as he pressed the cold cloth to her sore cheek; instead she took hold of it helpfully and sighed.

"I take it you heard what happened between me and Arthur then." She assumed, regret and hurt filling her once more as she remembered the event.

She knew that she had provoked him slightly, but she had never known him to lash out like that, like Uther had done to her on several occasions in the past.

"No, I have heard nothing." Gaius informed her honestly, a slight curiosity in his eyes.

"Is the mark that obvious then?" She scoffed, wincing faintly at the pain it caused in her cheek.

"I'm a physician, Morgana, I can notice these things from a mile off." Gaius stated somewhat proudly.

"Right." Morgana agreed before taking a gentle sip of the tea Gaius had prepared for her.

They sat in an awkward silence for a while, Morgana wishing she had never came, or that Merlin would finally wake up and come and rescue her from the murderous silence, but that was impossible, there was no way Merlin would be awake for hours yet while wearing her bracelet. Even though that was intentionally what she wanted, she wished to have him with her right now, and she felt strangely incomplete and alone without him by her side.

"I highly doubt you are here to bask in the brilliance of my company Morgana, so whatever it is you have come here to say, I suggest you get on with it."

The coldness in his tone sent shivers down her spine. Was therenot one person in Camelot that could at least _pretend _they didn't despise her with every inch of their body?

"I just wanted to apologise to you in person." Morgana started, hoping that this one would go better than the first, (and considering she wasn't confessing anything this time it was highly likely,) "It's just, being back in Camelot has really opened my eyes to the consequences of my actions, and there is nothing I want more than to put all of that hate behind me and move on, although many people are so reluctant to do so that I fear I can never truly be happy in Camelot once again."

"You are wrong." Gaius said confidently, causing Morgana to look up from her cup to meet the old physicians gaze.

"But everyone hates me. Arthur will probably execute me when he finds me, Gwaine has already volunteered to do the job, Guinevere can barely look me in the eye and _you_ obviously can't wait to get rid of me!" Morgana listed off in a panicked tone.

"I don't hate you Morgana."

Morgana froze at this, her cup nearly slipping out of her hands.

"You, you don't?" She asked in a shocked voice.

"No." Gaius reassured her, though his expression remained blank.

"But, _why_?" Morgana asked curiously.

"Because there's no need to; I'm not one to hold grudges Morgana and neither is Merlin. And he has shown to have put a lot of trust in you recently and although that may seem foolish to many others, I know that he isn't stupid or _'love struck'_ at Arthur put it, and must have a very good reason for getting close to you again."

Morgana's heart began to flutter as Gaius spoke of Merlin, her body suddenly craving his closeness even more, the closeness that she had just ditched in hopes of escaping. It was fate that brought her to Gaius's chambers, (fate and an annoying Gwaine accusing her of being up to no good and trying to take her to the king,) and making her realise just how much she couldn't leave Camelot, no matter how many enemies she had. Stuff them, this was about her happiness, and right now, what made her happy was in Camelot.

"Merlin is like a son to me and I can tell how much happier he has been now that you are back, despite the fact I hardly see him much anymore. He is somewhat, _fond_, of you and I wouldn't underestimate the limits he would go to too protect you now." Gaius continued; a slight pain in his eyes as if he was only just considering this.

Morgana's content smile fell as Gaius took on a more serious look and leaned over the table, his hand rested on his cup of tea.

"Which is why, if you hurt my Merlin in any way, shape or form I will personally see to it that you suffer greatly…understood?"

Morgana gulped loudly and she found herself nodding quickly in agreement.

"Good. Now that that's sorted, why don't you tell me about this, fight, with Arthur?"

That was hardly a subject Morgana really wanted to discuss, however she found it very difficult not to listen and do as Gaius says now, and she ended up helping him with some medicines while telling him the story. Out of respect, guilt, or knowledge that Gaius was someone Merlin cared for Morgana wasn't sure, however she stayed with him for hours wondering why on earth it was taking Merlin so long to wake up, or for guards to burst through the doors and arrest her…

* * *

><p>Merlin strode the corridors at a heavy pace, his fingers running through his hair in panic and frustration. She wasn't in danger or distressed, his stomach told him that much, and he was pretty sure she was still in Camelot considering he should be able to feel it if she left, but that didn't answer the burning question of <em>'where the hell could she be?' <em>that kept running through his mind.

Merlin stopped at the sight of a familiar face and he hurried towards them.

"Gwaine, have you seen Morgana?" He asked quickly, praying he won't ask any questions.

"Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing." Gwaine stated.

"Why?" Merlin asked carefully.

Merlin then noticed a few other knights searching the corridors as well behind him.

"I ran into that _witch_ earlier, caught her acting suspiciously."

"She has a name." Merlin said in an annoyed tone.

"Yeah sure. Anyway, I tried to take her to Arthur and she whacked me around the head with a candle holder, knocked me out." Gwaine moaned with a sulky look on his face.

"Moron!"

"That's not exactly what I was going to call her when we catch her…"

"No, I mean you!" Merlin insulted quickly while beginning to pace back and forth.

"Why me?" Gwaine asked innocently.

"The last person she would want to be around is Arthur right now!" Merlin barked out, feeling slightly guilty for taking his frustration out on his friend, but he knew Gwaine wouldn't take it to heart. "Where was she heading?" Merlin then asked in a more calm voice.

"Don't know, she was heading towards the castle entrance, but that was _hours _ago…"

"Merlin!"

"_Great, just what I need right now…"_ Merlin thought as he saw a very angry Arthur charging towards him.

"How could you let this happen? You were supposed to be watching her!" He began, stopping just a few small steps from Merlin's space.

"I was." Merlin argued.

"Really, then how come she's gone?"

"She's not gone!"

"And how would you know that?"

"Because she wouldn't just leave like that! She was distressed after your fight and she must have just wanted to be alone or something…"

"She hit me over the head with a candle holder." Gwaine interrupted unhelpfully.

Merlin glared at Gwaine for a few seconds before continuing.

"You condemn her with no proof, Arthur."

"She's gone, that's all the proof I need, now either you're with her or you're with me, it's your choice." Arthur said sternly, crossing his arms and waiting for Merlin's decision.

Merlin simply nodded and began following the pack of knights around the castle.

He wondered if it was because of the fight earlier that Arthur was so desperate to find her, or maybe she had done something else since fleeing after putting him into a deeper sleep, (besides whacking Gwaine over the head.)

Merlin followed Arthur in silence through the corridors as Gwaine led a few other knights in a different direction. There was obvious stress in Arthur's shoulders as he charged ahead, and his behaviour was noticeably different. For one, he wasn't searching every nook and cranny of the castle like he usually did when hunting for someone, and for another, he wasn't barking orders at people or insulting Merlin through boredom like he usually did. He just walked ahead like he was in his own world, barely focusing on the task in hand.

When Merlin finally caught up with him, with everyone else lagging behind out of exhaustion or simple lack of enthusiasm, he decided he couldn't stand it any longer.

"You don't really want to be doing this, do you?" Merlin asked carefully; fully aware of how Arthur could just explode at any moment.

"Of course I don't Merlin. She's my sister and I hoped more than anyone that she would be able to change." Arthur confessed, sadness seeping out of his voice.

"If you hoped the most that she could change then you should be the _last_ person to give up on her." Merlin stated, looking at Arthur with a familiar desperation across his face. "If you want everything to work out with Morgana then you need to stop expecting her to do all the work, you need to show that you want it as much as her and the way you acted today…"

"I know," Arthur interrupted, his pace slowing down slightly as he considered his thoughts, "I overreacted and I'm fully ashamed of what I did but that doesn't mean I'm to blame for her running off."

Merlin came to a sudden halt causing Arthur to stop as well, and he gave Arthur a questioning look with both eyebrows raised.

"Really?" Merlin asked in an accusing voice.

"Yes." Arthur replied defensively.

"I don't think so."

Arthur gave Merlin a puzzled look and shifted his position slightly.

"What do you mean?" He asked carefully.

"Right now I know Morgana better than anyone, and I can assure you that she was deeply hurt by your little_ meeting_, and I mean_ emotionally_ as well as physically. All she wants to do is prove herself and you just made it a hell of a lot harder for her do that."

Arthur looked down at the floor with a confused but considerate look on his face, seemingly lost in thought.

"Sire!"

Both Arthur and Merlin spun round to the out-of-breath-looking knight at the opposite end of the corridor,

"We've found her."

* * *

><p>Morgana was just placing a top on her third unassisted potion when they came. They burst through the doors making such a racket that she dropped the glass bottle on the floor with a gasp, and hardly registered when she was grabbed by a man and dragged into the centre of the room.<p>

"Inform the king that we've found her." Gwaine, (the man holding her roughly by the arms,) ordered another knight.

Morgana, suddenly aware of her situation began to struggle in the man's grasp for the second time that day.

"Get your filthy hands off me you disgusting, arrogant, simple-minded-ale-head!" Morgana spat, her elbows jabbing furiously at his chest.

"You better hold your tongue _witch_, need I remind you you're speaking to a knight of Camelot…"

"And need I remind you that a knight of Camelot is _honourable_ and respectable to women!" Morgana countered as she freed one arm from his grip.

"You're no _women_…" Gwaine spat, retrieving his hold on her other arm.

"Gwaine," Gaius broke in in a warning tone, placing his glasses and potion bottle on the bench with a slight bang, "What's going on?" He enquired.

"Gaius it's ok, I told you this would happen, there's no point trying to get involved." Morgana warned kindly, her body falling limply in Gwaine's hold as she decided not to bother struggling anymore.

"She's under arrest, by order of the king." Gwaine stated with a smirk.

Morgana wondered if Gwaine was a bigger hater of magic users than Uther, or just simply didn't like _her _at all, (which was hardly surprising bearing in mind what she did to him for a week when she was queen and he was her prisoner,) since he always spat _'witch'_ like it was a foul taste in his mouth.

"What for?" Gaius persisted in questioning.

"Yes, what for Arthur? Considering she's still in Camelot; still in the_ castle_ in fact, and appears to be doing_ nothing_ wrong." Came a familiar voice from the doorway that forced Morgana to look up.

"_Merlin_." Morgana breathed in an all-to-pleased way.

"If you say, _I told you so_, Merlin…" Arthur warned.

"When have I ever?" Merlin asked innocently before taking a few steps further into the room, and standing by Morgana's side.

Morgana offered him a shy smile that was gratefully returned, before fixing a hard stare on Arthur.

"Gaius, is everything alright here?" Arthur asked the old physician cautiously.

"Well it was until your men charged in, sire, Morgana was just helping me with my medicines." Gaius replied honestly.

"Morgana? _Helping?" _Arthur questioned, his stunned expression matching his tone of voice completely.

"Yes sire, she has been most wonderful company."

Morgana forced herself to hold down the need to laugh, and focused of discreetly shifting her arms out of Gwaine's hold.

"Right. Gwaine, release her." Arthur ordered hesitantly.

Morgana yanked her arms away from the knight and flung them around Merlin's waist, taking comfort in his warmth as she wrapped her arms a little tighter around his middle, squeezing like she might never see him again.

"Well…" Arthur spoke after a while, stressing how awkward he felt, "Everyone may go." He said to the men that were crowded around him.

They left the room in single file, not speaking a word as they filtered past Arthur and left only him standing in the doorway, watching as Gaius cleaned up the mess on the floor and Morgana still stood in Merlin's arms.

"Morgana?" Arthur forced out, his voice betraying his strong, confident stance.

"What?" Morgana asked quietly, lifting her head up and placing her hands flat against Merlin's chest, with his arms still around her.

"I, I just wanted to apologise again, for, what happened earlier today and, this little misunderstanding," he waved his arm to signal the space between them in the room, signalling the almost arrest, "You showed trust in me in telling the truth and I behaved appallingly…"

"It's alright." Morgana reassured with a sympathetic smile, "I am equally to blame for what happened, and I'm sorry too."

Morgana slowly released herself from Merlin's hold and walked forward into the heat of danger, showing as little hesitation as possible while she approached Arthur.

"I hope, one day, we can truly put everything behind us and move on, I don't expect it to be easy, but I don't expect it to be impossible either." Morgana spoke as she stood strongly in front of him, her eyes searching for a similar emotion from him.

"I hope so too." Arthur replied sadly, and Morgana wondered how glorious it would be if he started crying right now. "No time like the present though." He then said cheerfully.

"What?"

"Would you like to maybe, go for a walk…or…something, so we can…"

"Chat?"

"Yes, chat."

Morgana could hardly believe her ears. Arthur had never requested that they spend time together even before they were enemies, and now? This was a huge step forward, and there was no way she wasn't going to take it.

Morgana looked over her shoulder to Merlin; searching for a similar reaction or confirmation from him that she should go for it, and when she received the enthusiastic nod she was hoping for she spun round all to eagerly to face Arthur once more.

"Yes, I would love to." She replied with a wide smile before running back into the room to grab her red, velvet cloak from the table that matched her outfit, brushed Merlin's arm with her hand on the way back to the door and then waiting patiently for Arthur's say so, trying desperately not to jog up and down in excitement.

This was it. This was exactly what she needed to get her life back on track, and get rid of Emrys once and for all. Surly if all was forgiven and she had righted all her wrongs, he would have no need to come after her, would he? After all, despite the fact that he was her enemy, he wasn't evil, or else he wouldn't be protecting Arthur and Camelot. And if he wasn't evil then he wouldn't seek revenge for something she had done in the past and made emends for.

"Alright, let's go." Arthur said while holding his arm out signalling her to go first.

She walked out the door with her clock tucked safely under one arm, looked back once to smile a goodbye to Merlin and Gaius, and then was strolling down the corridor with Arthur by her side, a scene she never thought would happen again.

* * *

><p>"Morgana told me about her dream." Gaius informed Merlin as her began to eat his vegetable stew.<p>

"Oh? What did she say?" Merlin asked curiously.

"Nothing she probably hadn't already told you." Gaius replied casually, before dropping his spoon back in his stew, and crossing his arms seriously over the table. "You must be careful Merlin."

Merlin stared up at him through his lashes; spoon paused just before entering his mouth.

"Why? In her dream it was her not I that…"

"It's not the context of the dream that concerns me."

"Then what is it?" Merlin asked with a confused look on his face.

Gaius returned his confused look with an overly expectant one, causing Merlin to drop his spoon back into the bowl and lean his head in one hand.

"Merlin, doesn't it worry you that Morgana had this dream in the first place?" Gaius asked in a shocked voice.

"Umm…"

"The only way she could have received that dream is if you sent it her as a warning of some kind, and I'm pretty sure you didn't do that which only leaves one explanation. Morgana's getting her powers back."

Merlin's mouth fell open and closed in attempts of speaking, and found no luck. Why hadn't that thought even crossed his mind? And how was it even possible?

"That doesn't make sense," Merlin finally began as he processed his thoughts, "Killgarrah said that it would require a strong, emotional trigger to get them back." Merlin argued in disbelief.

"Indeed, but had it ever crossed your mind that the emotion needed from her to break the spell, might not be the one that you presume?"

"What do you mean?" Merlin asked carefully, although he was afraid of the answer he would get.

"I mean that her new found relationship with you, had blossomed an emotion from her that has been dormant for _years_, an emotion that is_ undoubtedly_ stronger than hate, or revenge, or lust for power and whatever else a bitter sorceress feels."

Merlin was rendered speechless once again, only this time he feared he would never recover. All this time he had been working towards bringing her back to good, and he had also been helping her to get her powers back; What if she wasn't ready yet? She hadn't gone on about her powers in ages, and everything had been going perfectly. Sure they had had a few problems but they were all quickly solved, well, all if things worked out with Arthur. And that was another thing. What if things didn't work out with Arthur and she decided to use her magic for evil again?

Merlin was pulled from his thoughts when the door crashed open.

"How did it go?" Gaius asked as he turned round to see Morgana entering.

"Great, we talked things through and I think we are on the same page now." Morgana replied smugly while speed walking over to the table, her red cloak flowing behind her.

"What do you mean by that?" Merlin asked curiously.

"That's not important but we need to go now." She said quickly.

"_Why…" _

"_Because_, Arthur has invited us out for a ride tomorrow, me you and Gwen, just like old times." She replied excitedly while pulling Merlin up from the table by his hand.

Merlin shot a look at Gaius who was smiling widely, and then tumbled out of the door.

"Slow down or ill be injured before out little outing tomorrow." Merlin said while suppressing a giggle.

"Don't be silly Merlin you're not going to be injured tomorrow." Morgana mocked, however her pace seemed to slow a little.

"Oh, we'll see about that." Merlin huffed, remembering the last little outing the four of them took.

* * *

><p>"I believe this belongs to you." Merlin said once they were both undressed and ready for bed.<p>

He held out Morgana's healing bracelet in the palm of his hand, and she took it sheepishly.

"_Ah_…" Morgana said with a worried look on her face.

"Care to explain what it was doing on my wrist?" He asked while crossing his arms.

Morgana looked up at his through her lashes with an uncertain smile on her face.

"I thought you needed a decent sleep?"

"_Really…" _Merlin said in a disbelieving tone.

"I was planning on leaving." Morgana sighed, her gaze falling to the floor in shame.

Merlin carefully sat next to her on the bed, and watched as she fiddled with her bracelet nervously.

"And what stopped you?" Merlin asked quietly.

Morgana slowly raised her head to look him in the eye, locks of her hair draped across her face.

"You did." She said shyly.

Merlin gave her a confused look.

"Me?"

Morgana nodded slowly, her gaze returning to the floor.

"I wanted to leave because I didn't want to be around people who hate me, yet if I left, I wouldn't be around anyone at all. Being here, with you, you've reminded me of what it's like to just be myself, and focus on the more important things in life like how to enjoy myself..." Morgana trailed off and took a deep breath while Merlin watched with fascinated eyes. "I don't want to lose those things again, and I don't want to lose you."

Merlin's hands began to shake as he placed one on her leg, and then wiped away a single tear from her cheek.

"You won't." He said reassuringly, a sweet smile on his face.

Morgana bit her lip as she stared down at his hand; her eyes were slightly red with tears and her hair was a tad messed up as it fell over both shoulders, but Merlin thought she had never looked so beautiful. This was real, this was the genuine Morgana and he never wanted to let her go.

But he would have to.

The magic would change her, there was no denying it. Magic can corrupt and she wasn't strong enough to stop it. It would consume her and change her personality completely, and there would be nothing either of them could do about it.

He couldn't let that happen. He _wouldn't_ let that happen. He wouldn't let the darkness take her again, and if that meant keeping his distance so she wouldn't get her powers back, then so be it.

Merlin hastily retracted his hand and pulled himself off the bed, trying his hardest to ignore the hurt look on Morgana's face.

"We should get some sleep. Arthur will want us up early tomorrow."

And with that, he walked to his room and nearly slammed the door behind him, dropping to his knees and burying his face in his hands. He lent back against the door as he cried silently to himself, hoping that he was doing the right thing, and praying that the pain in his chest will get easier to bear over time.

* * *

><p><strong>xxx So what did you guys think of this chapter? i hope it wasn't to confusing considering i changed the point of view a lot, but i really thought it was needed to show how much Morgana was opening up to Merlin, and why Merlin was once again backing away. I'm sure they will resolve things soon, perhaps on there little outing with Arthur and Gwen... <strong>

**Like usual, if you see any mistakes, please let me know so i can fix them, thank you. xxx**


	15. Your Kisses Say Sorry

**xxx I know, i'm such a horrible person and you all have every right to hate me. But i promise i will never abandon this story no matter how deep writters block takes me. i re-wrote this chapter three times and am still not 100% happy with it, but i couldn't leave you waiting any longer. Also, i just want to say that nothing that happened in this chapter was suppose to happen, but i hope i do not disapoint you... xxx**

* * *

><p>It was around noon when the four of them set out from Camelot on horseback. The sun beat down a comfortable heat, and everyone was in high spirits…however, it didn't last very long.<p>

Firstly, Morgana had not said two words to Merlin since they had left and that was driving him mad, she barely even looked in his direction. Granted, she probably wanted to focus on the outdoors and talking to Arthur and Gwen, but it still didn't feel right.

Then, everyone had to suffer Gwen's moaning for the first fifteen minutes about how unsafe it was to be in the woods, especially since there was a war on and they had no guards to protect them. Arthur had distracted her with a horse race, (which Merlin had lost,) and she hadn't spoken of it since.

After about an hour of riding, a conversation about old times was sparked up, and so was quite a few of Merlin's most embarrassing memories, (no thanks to Arthur,) which he was not pleased with at all but everyone else seemed to find highly entertaining.

Merlin was thankful when Arthur decided it was time for a picnic after a few hours, although Morgana seemed eager to continue, and made no attempt on hiding her displeasure.

And that is what led to Merlin and Morgana sitting on a blanket, watching Arthur hand-feeding grapes into Gwen's mouth.

"Seriously? Get a room…or a bush…or something." Morgana teased after pulling a pretend sick face.

Arthur and Gwen merely giggled and continued, with all eyes on Morgana as another grape was plucked into her mouth.

"Argh, fine, I'll leave you two lovebirds in peace shall I? I'm going for a walk." Morgana said before coming into a stand, brushing down her gown and wandering out of the little clearing they were in.

Merlin watched her go with worried eyes, contemplating going with her, (just to make sure she was safe, of course.)

"You can go too you know, Merlin." Arthur said with a gentle kick to his leg.

When Merlin spun round to face him Arthur was wearing a wide grin across his face.

"But…"

"Off you go." Arthur said with a shooing motion of his hand.

"You just want me to leave so you two can be alone, don't you?" Merlin accused while defiantly crossing his arms.

"_Of course _not." Arthur lied before taking a sip of wine. "Now leave."

Merlin gave an annoyed grunt before getting to his feet and stomping through the forest, trying to ignore Guinevere's giggles. He took one look back before he disappeared, a wide smile on his face as Arthur rolled Gwen over and they began to passionately kiss. He felt a slight twinge in his stomach as he watched, (not for too long though because that would be creepy,) at the feeling that he may never experience what Arthur and Gwen share. Freya had been his first love and his first kiss, and it seemed she was doomed to be his last.

Morgana sat on the edge of a riverbank, her knees clutched to her chest as she watched the water flow by. Merlin could hear the soft sounds of cries as he approached her back, and when she quickly turned around ready to attack, his thoughts were confirmed. Morgana quickly wiped the evidence of tears from her eyes as she saw Merlin and turned back to the water.

"What do you want?" She asked in a disinterested tone.

"Arthur wanted to get rid of me so he could be alone with Gwen." Merlin said flatly before sitting next to her on the bank.

He eyed her carefully, as if trying to see right through her and read her thoughts, instead of doing the smart thing and just asking why she was upset. Her necklace was a dull brown colour mixed in with mustard yellow and didn't match her dress at all, but matched her expression completely.

"What's wrong?" Merlin finally asked when he realised he was getting nowhere with trying to read her.

"Nothing." Morgana replied bluntly while turning her head further away from him.

"But you're crying…"

"I'm fine." Morgana persisted, her voice failing her slightly.

"Alright." Merlin said, defeated.

Merlin copied Morgana's sitting position and tried to stare at the water like she was, only to find that his eyes kept on wondering to her and darting back to the water as soon as she noticed him looking.

"Are you ignoring me?" Merlin asked carefully.

"Why would you think that?" Morgana asked coldly.

"Umm, because you have barely spoken to me all day and you can't even look me in the eye?"

"And that bothers you does it?" Morgana questioned as she pulled her legs in further.

"Well, _yeah_." Merlin replied in an obvious tone.

"Oh right." Morgana said angrily as she finally tore her gaze away from the water to give him a stony look, and then quickly got to her feet to tower above him. "So it_ bothers_ you when I ignore you, yet when you just walk away from me declaring _'end of conversation' _because you can't accept your feelings, you don't give a rat's ass about how I feel!" Morgana spat, her arms waving around in frustration.

Merlin was taken aback by Morgana's sudden outburst; staring up at her with his mouth open and trying not to wriggle under her harsh gaze.

"Morgana I…"

"And _don't_ even bother to try and deny it because I'm not an idiot Merlin, unlike you!"

"_Morgana…" _Merlin tried again in a pleading tone, only to be cut off once again.

"What's your problem, Hey? Is it Arthur? Or maybe its Gaius considering there's _no_ denying that he knows how you feel about me. Or maybe you just have commitment issues…"

Morgana continued to list off her theories while Merlin got into a stand, although he still felt uncomfortable with her eyes still on him, even though they now weren't peering down at him like he was a lesser human being.

"Can you just…"

"Don't interrupt!" Morgana spat while pointing a warning finger at him.

Merlin sighed and let her continue, knowing full well that he deserved everything she threw at him. He had a good reason for what he did, but it wasn't a reason he could use in his defence, and it definitely wasn't a reason that he could see standing for long.

"You know what? It doesn't bother me anyway. I mean why would it? Because it's not like I feel the same way or anything_ close_ to it…"

Before Merlin could even think about his actions and the consequences it would bring, he placed both of his hands on the side of her face, and shushed he instantly when his lips came crashing down on hers. It wasn't how he imagined there first kiss being; soft and loving and gentle. The kiss was rough and needy, both participants battling for control on the others mouth. He indulged himself on the bitter-sweet taste of honey, wine and acidic fruits on her lips, lapping up every flavour until all he could taste was her. His mind fogged up as she moaned into him, one hand pulling fiercely on his hair and the other buried deeply in his shirt.

Morgana was the first to pull away for air, her breath hot against his lips.

"Don't think that this just…"

"_Shut. Up…"_ Merlin moaned in an equally breathless manor, before pulling her back in.

His arm came around her waist to pull her closer, his hand lingering on the small of her back and rubbing affectionate circles against her and framing her hips. This caused Morgana's hand to slip from her hold on his shirt and follow round until she was in the same spot, and then her fingers began to skilfully climb up the back of his shirt, her other hand still trapped in his soft locks.

It was only by luck that Merlin's eyes flickered open, and noticed the dark figure approaching from behind Morgana with a sword drawn. He quickly pushed Morgana to the ground out the way of the moving weapon, but not quick enough to stop the blade from swiping his shoulder sending him to the ground next to Morgana.

Morgana gasped as she saw blood and was instantly on his lap, her back pressed against his chest. A bright light emanated in front on her and the man was sent flying backwards from the force of the necklace's power.

Merlin wrapped a protective arm around her waist and pulled her behind him as they got into a stand, and two more bandits advanced on them. Merlin shot his arm out to the fallen man's sword sending in flying in the direction of one bandit and running him through, before ducking as the other took a swipe at his head. His arm wacked something soft behind him as he fell, and then his eyes flashed gold in anger sending the last man into the distance with a loud 'crack' as his back hit a tree.

Merlin pulled himself up onto hands and knees as he checked the three bodies in front on him were definitely not moving, and then for some unknown reason he found himself laughing breathlessly as he checked his shoulder.

"I told you I was going to get injured on this _little outing._" Merlin joked as he struggled to pull himself up.

When Merlin received no reply he quickly spun round, only to find no one behind him.

"Morgana?" Merlin called worriedly as he searched around him.

"Merlin!" Morgana shouted as her head emerged from the river, before plunging back down again.

Without hesitating Merlin jumped into the water rather gracelessly, and swam to the middle of the river where he saw Morgana disappear. As she arose from the water again, Merlin wrapped his arms around her waist to keep her at the surface and her arms came up to wrap around his neck.

"This is no time for a swim, Morgana." Merlin teased as she spluttered water out of her mouth.

"You, you knocked me in t-the water you j-jack-ass." Morgana insulted half-heartedly as she pulled her body in closer to his heat. "My dress is too heavy." She then complained before bursting into laughter.

"Sure you didn't just want me to jump in and save you?" Merlin inquired with a smirk.

"If it wasn't for this _darn_ dress I would have pulled you in myself." She declared, pouting slightly at the thought of needing to be saved.

Morgana silenced his teasing by pressing her lips to his, a feeling that Merlin was easily adjusting to, (although floating in water made quite a big yet amazing difference.)

"I'm sorry." Merlin said between kisses, his lips now trailing down her neck.

"You should be." Morgana stated breathlessly. "How's your arm?"

"Not important." Merlin replied hastily, and Morgana then pulled his head up with a firm grip on his chin to claim his lips once more.

"And you tell_ us_ to get a room." Came a girl's voice to Merlin's right.

They both pulled away from each other with equal speed to face a highly-amused Gwen, arms crossed with a wide grin on her face.

"Although, Arthur will be here any second so unless you want to get caught…"

"Right." Merlin agreed, already making his way to the edge with an arm around Morgana's waist.

As soon as he'd lifted Morgana to the edge, Arthur came trudging through the forest with a half-eaten chicken leg in his hand. He paused to take in the scene, a confused but concerned look on his face as he noticed the three bodies on the ground.

"What the hell happened here?" Arthur asked, chucking his chicken bone to the ground to haul Merlin out of the water.

"We were attacked by bandits." Morgana answered while wrapping her arms around herself in attempt to block out the cold, urging Merlin to want to wrap his own arms around her to keep her warm.

"Are you hurt?" He asked them both, and Merlin tried not to act guiltily as Arthur eyed them both from top to bottom.

"Just my shoulder." Merlin replied nonchalantly, his hand suddenly moving to his wound like he had completely forgotten about it.

Gwen was instantly at his side to inspect his wound, a look of concentration across her face.

"It isn't too deep, but you should have Gaius take a look at it as soon as possible." Gwen stated.

"We should be heading back now anyway." Arthur said as he looked up towards the sun with a hand shading his eyes. "Come on."

Arthur led the way back through the forest to the horses, Gwen just behind him and Merlin and Morgana side by side a few metres back.

"We'll talk about what happened back there tomorrow," Morgana whispered in his ear while taking hold of his hand, "Let's not spoil anything today."

Merlin's response was to interlock their fingers and give a gentle squeeze, and although he could feel Morgana's gentle gaze on him, his eyes focused ahead, (since knowing his luck he would probably trip over something and make a complete idiot of himself.)

* * *

><p>Being without Merlin and wondering if he was ok was one thing to make Morgana restless, add that to being alone with Gwen and things couldn't have got much worse. She didn't know why Gwen wanted to return to her chambers with her while Merlin was treated by Gaius, (Morgana had refused to leave him at first but Merlin persuaded her with <em>'you will get a chill if you don't get out of those wet clothes soon' <em>as an excuse, damn him.) After Gwen's maid had left with Merlin's spare clothes, (I bet she loved helping tend to Merlin, the little flirt,) it was just Morgana, Gwen, and a much needed jug of wine.

Conversation had started off basic, some occasional remarks about the weather and castle gossip; thankfully Gwen had shown no interest in bringing up what she saw in the forest, yet…

"So what's going on between you and Merlin?" Gwen asked suddenly, causing Morgana to nearly choke back her drink.

"Umm, nothing…much…" Morgana replied casually after she'd finished spluttering out the rest of her drink.

"Of course." Gwen replied while trying to hide her smile.

To be honest, Morgana had no idea how to answer that question, not even to herself. It was so sudden and unexpected that she could hardly believe it happened, however the tingling sensation still present on her lips from his teeth was evidence enough.

"Why are you here?" Morgana asked in a desperate attempt to change the topic of conversation.

Gwen shifted in her seat and cleared her throat a few times, her eyes fixed on the pattern her finger was drawing on the table.

"I don't know, making amends, I suppose." She answered quietly.

"You have nothing to make amends for." Morgana stated, suddenly regretting where her conversation turner was leading them.

Gwen looked slightly surprised at Morgana's statement, her finger now stilled on the wood.

"But, you said before that…"

"I was wrong, Gwen." Morgana interrupted, her own fingers now running through her wet locks. "And, for the record, you make a far better queen than I ever could." Morgana continued when she realised Gwen was too stunned to speak.

Not that long ago, those words (including other things,) would have never touched her lips, not in a million years. And now she was saying them with ease like she had always thought them, and the truth was, she had. She had always known that Gwen would be a great queen because she was everything a queen should be, and everything Morgana wasn't. Morgana didn't want the thrown because it was rightfully hers and she would be good for the kingdom; in fact she wanted it for the exact opposite reason.

Morgause had always told her that once she took the throne everything would be theirs, and they would have all the power they wanted over everyone and anyone. But Morgana was never that interested in the power, only the revenge.

Camelot meant everything to Uther and so it made perfect sense to destroy it, along with the one thing he cared about more than anything; his son. However, it never really occurred to her until now that the things Uther loved and cared for, were the same things she cared for also, and what sense did it make so go around destroying everything you love?

"Thank you." Gwen finally said, her voice sounding so Gwen-like that Morgana had to smile.

The way forward from now was unclear to Morgana, since her original plans of getting her powers back and taking over Camelot again were completely out the window. But she knew now that this is where she belonged all along, (now that Uther was out of the picture anyway; no amount of soul searching could make her regret her actions against him,) and nothing and no one, could make her forget that again.

Or so she thought…

* * *

><p>"Right, you know the drill Merlin, down it in one." Gaius said firmly as he handed Merlin a small cup filled with an off-putting green liquid.<p>

Merlin wrinkled his nose at it before tilting his head back, and made a sound of displeasure as he handed the cup back to the physician, trying to ignore the amused look on his face.

Arthur was the only other person in the room with them, pacing back and forth and attempting not to bite his nails; which was a very strange and unnerving thing for Merlin to watch.

Arthur eyed the door hopefully when he heard footsteps, and then grumpily returned his gaze to the floor just like he had been doing ever since they had returned to Camelot, and Gwen had left with Morgana; Guinevere's new-found stubbornness getting the best of Arthur's protests.

"Could you stand still for _one second,_ you're making me dizzy." Merlin said from his perch on the sick bed.

Arthur shot him a look before nodding and sitting at the table, his nails now drumming against the wood. Merlin sighed irritably, before pulling on a clean, loose shirt, (careful of his wounded shoulder,) and taking a seat next to Arthur at the table.

"Don't you have some court matters to attend to?" Merlin asked, purposely putting the _'I'm-trying-to-get-rid-of-you'_ tone in his voice.

"Leon's taking care of it today, I scheduled the whole day off." Arthur replied reluctantly, a look of shame for slacking off, (at least slacking off in Arthur's case,) across his face.

"Ok…" Merlin said as he struggled to think of something else. "What about some training? You never say no to that." He suggested.

"It's nearly sunset, Merlin."

"Never stopped you before, you have had me on that field till _way_ past dark before." Merlin countered.

"Well, training isn't as fun when your target doesn't complain and remark about your waist size; having an insolent servant makes for an extremely high motivation technique."

Merlin couldn't help but snigger at that, a pleased feeling settling in him as he saw the corners of Arthur's mouth begin to rise.

"I'm sure my boots are pretty tough to fill." Merlin said proudly.

"Not really, you have girl feet." Arthur quipped back with an even wider smile.

"I don't have girl feet! I just don't have jumbo feet like yours." Merlin scoffed.

"My feet are in perfect proportion to the rest of my body, thank you." Arthur protested.

"Yeah…fat…"

"Muscular!"

"You don't get _muscular_ feet!"

"You don't get fat feet either!"

"_I _don't, no…"

"Merlin…"

Merlin couldn't keep the grin from pasting itself on his face at the familiar warning tone in Arthur's voice; the way he says his name so similar to that of an insult.

"Yes Arthur?" Merlin asked innocently.

"Shut up." He ordered with a fake-serious smile on his face.

"Of course_, sire_." Merlin lied.

Merlin glanced over to where Gaius was crushing herbs with a pestle and mortar, smiling contently to himself.

Arthur stared out the small window in the corner at the dark sky, seemingly pleased to have finally won an argument between him and Merlin, (if telling him to shut up was a decent way of winning.)

Merlin waited a few moments more to let the pride wash over the king, before shattering it completely.

"I bet Gwen makes you sleep with your socks on."

"Merlin!" Arthur scorned, before cuffing him behind the head.

"Ow!" Merlin moaned, (though it didn't really hurt, much,) making a show of rubbing his sore head.

"Oi! You ruin my stitches and you'll have me to deal with." Gaius warned, pointing a stick of herbs accusingly at Arthur.

"Sorry Gaius." Arthur said sheepishly, ruffling Merlin's hair for good measure.

Gaius, seemingly satisfied that a truce had been made, turned back to his work before Merlin swatted Arthur's hand away while chuckling.

The atmosphere became calm, quiet, and somewhat unsettling rather quickly.

"She will be alright you know." Merlin said, testing his chances at a normal conversation.

"Hmm?" Arthur replied, his attitude feigning indifference yet it was clear who _'she'_ was since Arthur had hardly taken his mind off of her since they got back.

"Gwen." Merlin said matter-of-factly. "She will be alright."

"I know that." Arthur said dismissively, although concern was still painted across his features.

"Do you really? I mean you still don't trust Morgana; that much is obvious and I don't blame you for it at all, but they need this." Merlin tried, hoping Arthur won't dismiss his words like he has many times before.

"They need what?" Arthur asked, clearly confused.

"To spend time together. It's no secret that Morgana is not the most liked person in Camelot, and she will need her friends to help her settle back in and not be led astray again."

"She had her friends before she was '_led astray'_." Arthur scoffed.

"But she categorised us with the same label she placed on Uther; as people she would never truly be able to be herself around due to the hatred of magic. You have already proven to her that you are able to look past the magic and see her for who she really is…"

"She doesn't have her magic anymore, though." Arthur interrupted.

"Well, if she did, and yet she showed no signs of changing back into who she once was, would you still consider her an enemy?" Merlin asked cautiously, already dreading the answer.

"I'm not sure," Arthur replied honestly, "I'm hoping that the situation will never arrive, but on the off chance that it did, I think I would only be comfortable if she didn't use it."

Merlin heart sank in mere seconds, although the knowledge that Arthur wouldn't banish her just for her magic kept him struggling to stay afloat.

"But she fooled us for so long before, and I never saw it…"

"Well…you didn't see it…" Merlin added in guiltily.

"What?" Arthur asked, confused.

"There were a few that did know of her motives…"

"And how would you know?" Arthur asked accusingly.

"Because I was one of them." Merlin admitted.

Arthur breathed out an exasperated moan, his head falling in to his hands.

"Just like you did with Agravaine." Arthur stated, putting the pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle.

Merlin gave him a few seconds to collect his thoughts before continuing, Gaius already picking up his things and vacating the room to give them some privacy.

"So, as I was saying, Morgana needs to feel like she's accepted or else she will never truly feel like she belongs here." Merlin finished his point, his body suddenly becoming hot; an unpleasant feeling in his stomach.

"But, what does Gwen get out of being friends with Morgana?" Arthur suddenly questioned; his head now at the same height as Merlin's as he waited for a decent answer.

"Gwen is just as lonely as Morgana, being queen isn't easy for her. She is now stationed among women who have never batted an eyelid towards her in the past, and being the daughter of a blacksmith means she has absolutely nothing in common with any of them. It's hard for her to find where she really fits in."

"She told you this?" Arthur asked in a quiet, concerned tone.

"Not exactly, but you know Gwen, she doesn't like to complain about things…"

"Clearly I _don't _know her if I can't even see that my own wife is unhappy." Arthur remarked miserably.

"No, no, no…that's not what I meant at all!" Merlin said panicky. "There's no doubt that she is happier than she has ever been now that she's your queen and everything. Not that I'm saying she wasn't happy with you before you were married because she was…."

Arthur scoffed, amused by Merlin's sudden uncharacteristic babbling, and in no hurry to put him out of his misery.

"All I'm saying," Merlin continued more calmly, "Is that Gwen needs Morgana's friendship as much as Morgana needs hers. And there's no need to worry about what's going on right now because I'm a hundred per cent confident that everything's fine."

As soon as Merlin spoke these words his body seemed to reject them completely; his vision going slightly blurry and his stomach completely closing up on itself causing him to hunch over and hug the pain as tightly as possible. Merlin knew he would probably be on the floor right now if it wasn't for Arthur's strong grip on his arms.

At first Arthur's shouts were muffled by the pounding in his head, but as the pain began to diminish Merlin was finally able to look his worried king in the eye and Arthur went completely silent, his expression stressing every possible thing Arthur could say.

"I'm fine." Merlin reassured weakly, testing his strength on the ground before pulling himself upwards, taking a stubborn Arthur with his as he refused to let his hold on Merlin's arms subside.

"Do you want' me to find Gaius?" Arthur asked quietly like Merlin's ears might burst if he spoke to loud.

"No, I'm fine, I promise, I just need some fresh air." Merlin said before gently releasing Arthur's hold of him and dashing out the door, straight to Morgana's chambers.

The fact that the experience he had just gone through was much worse than any of the other times his body told him something was wrong with Morgana burned in his mind, and he feared what he was running to. On the other hand, there was a high chance that maybe she was just having an argument with Gwen or his body was having a bad reaction to the concoction Gaius made him swallow, but he wasn't going to take that chance.

He didn't even bother to knock when he reached Morgana's chambers, and pushed the door forward with such force it swung right round until it hit the wall and nearly came back and closed on him.

Gwen turned to him with a startled squeak, and then quickly moved to stand beside him, (although really she was more behind him than anything.)

The room was an absolute state; every mirror was smashed beyond repair, every glass object was shattered, its pieces spread across the floor to create a dangerous battlefield, and a collection of both hers and Merlin's belongings were pressed up against the far wall, some alight from the flames of the fire place.

"Merlin, thank god!" Gwen sobbed, and Merlin placed a comforting hand on her arm to ease her distress. "I don't know what happened, she just turned so suddenly and then things were breaking all over the place and I was scared and she was screaming and I didn't know what to do!" Gwen cried desperately, rubbing tears from her eyes that had only just began to fall.

"Where is she?" Merlin asked her gently, both of his hands now rubbing over her shoulders.

Gwen turned slowly towards the mess of the room, and pointed a shaking finger in the direction of the bed.

"Merlin nodded slowly. "Stay here." He whispered to her, causing a slight moan from her throat, (obviously she was planning on just making a run for it,) before she nodded her agreement.

Merlin gradually made his way over to the opposite side of the bed, glass crunching under his feet with every step he took.

Morgana was sat with her back as close to the wall as possible, her body curled close to the wooden cabinet. Her cries were quiet but desperate, her eyes fixed on the wall, unblinking. She made no acknowledgement that she knew Merlin was there until he placed his hand on her arm, causing her to scream and start thrashing wildly, trying to push herself further into the tight space.

"Morgana, it's ok." Merlin soothed, his hands urgently trying to steady her and prevent her from injuring herself, although evidence told him he was too late for that.

"Get away from me!" She screamed, and Merlin heard Gwen's cries from behind him deepen at this.

There was no familiarity in her eyes except that of faint, murky gold veins that made Merlin's breathing hitch.

Morgana continued to flail her limbs around, catching Merlin quite painfully more than once. But what scared him the most was that her stare was still fixed on the wall behind him like she was expecting it to start closing in on them.

Merlin cursed himself and the air around him, before raising his palm in connection with her cheek, causing her gaze to rip to the side and her eyes to squint shut. She recovered quicker than Merlin had anticipated and suddenly was slapping him with equal force. Then, when her tears began to fall she pulled him as close as possible and buried her face in his shoulder. Merlin's hand moved instinctively to her hair before he healed the many cuts covering her body with no more than a whisper, and stopped the blood from seeping from the reopened wound on his shoulder.

He heard Gwen's tentative footsteps behind him, and then she was kneeling beside him, her hand on his shoulder.

"You can't tell anybody about this Gwen, especially not Arthur." Merlin said breathlessly, hugging Morgana close to him like she could slip right through him and be lost once more in that painful abyss.

"But…" Gwen began to protest.

"_Please_, Gwen." Merlin begged, looking at her with pleading eyes.

Gwen smiled at him sympathetically.

"I promise, but I want to know what's going on, at least give me that."

"I will, I promise I will, tomorrow." Merlin said with as much of a smile as he could muster.

"Is there anything you need?" Gwen asked, her eyes observing Morgana with a hint of fear, but compassion.

"No, thank you."

Merlin felt Morgana's position shift in his arms, and then Gwen was giving her a friendly smile and placing her hand on her leg in a comforting gesture that made Merlin finally feel like genuinely smiling.

"I'll come back tomorrow then and check everything's ok." Gwen declared.

She walked out of the room in a very queenly manner, (besides the fact that she had to hold the bottom of her dress up to avoid the mess.)

"He was here." Morgana said once Gwen had closed the door behind her. "I saw him Merlin."

"What?"

"Emrys, he was here! He's waiting for me Merlin! It's only a matter of time before he, before h-he…"

Morgana gave up on talking and pulled herself back into Merlin's arms, crying louder than she has ever done before.

Merlin was completely nonplussed even though the truth was so obvious to him. There was no other explanation; it was all his fault and there was no denying it. He had unintentionally driven Morgana mad. She was so scared of him that she was seeing him where he wasn't, and her nightmare of him was probably just that, a nightmare, not a vision of the future.

And the worst part about it was that he didn't know how to fix it. He couldn't change the past, he couldn't erase that knowledge and he couldn't convince her that she had nothing to fear. What was he suppose too do? Tell her that she was going insane? Tell her that Emrys doesn't exist? Tell her that he was Emrys?

No. there was no way he could reveal the truth to her. There was no way he could bare the hurt and betrayal in her eyes once more, not in this lifetime, and not in any other lifetime to come.

As Morgana's crying began to calm, she said one last thing before drifting into a much needed sleep in his arms.

"He smiled at me…"

* * *

><p><strong>xxx Ok, so the moment when Merlin finally stops being an idiot and gives into his feelings has finally arived, (though sooner than intended,) and i hope it was everything you were hoping for. please let me know your thoughts on this chapter with as much criticism as you want to throw at me for taking so long, and as always if you see any mistakes then feel free to tell me :) xxx<strong>


	16. When Destinies Get In The Way

**xxx Umm...hello there. Wow it's been a long time and i'm so sorry i kept you all hanging. I wish i had a descent excuse for it but unfortunately i don't. All i can say is that i lost my inspiration and tried my best to continue with no success, but here i am again and hopefully my inspiration will stick around long enough to get this story finished for you. Perhaps i should of really started off with some shorter fics rather than a long one but never mind, lesson learned. xxx**

* * *

><p>Morgana didn't stir at all as Merlin placed her in her bed, although prying her hands from his shirt served to be a little difficult.<p>

With every second he watched her sleeping form, he felt a little bit more of his heart break for her. He couldn't bear to see her this way; so fragile and vulnerable. Without a doubt Merlin would protect her with his life now, like he would Arthur and everyone else he cared about. But seeing her this way was so out of character it scared him; she had always been so strong, determined, and prepared to fight for what she believed in, (even if her views were wrong,) that's what made Merlin love her most. Now she didn't know what to believe.

Merlin moved around the room as quietly as possible, wanting to get everything back in order before she awoke. He used magic as little as possible to avoid Gwen asking too many questions.

Once he was satisfied that the floor was barefoot-friendly, he pulled his blankets from his room and lay them out next to Morgana's bed; not wanting to leave her alone but not wanting to startle her awake by holding her close, as his heart desired to.

He found it difficult to fall asleep that night, his thoughts determined to give him a headache. He couldn't let Morgana suffer this way when he had the power to make it stop, yet, his conscience kept reminding him how important it was to keep his secret.

Although it wasn't very often he listened to that.

Just earlier that day he broke the very rules he placed down himself to stop things getting out of hand, and he didn't regret a second of it. There was no room to think of how wrong it was because it just felt so right. Like she was a part of him he had been missing and now he was finally complete, and there was no way he would let anything destroy it.

There was no way he would let anything destroy her.

He would have to tell her the truth. Their relationship had been ruined by far too many lies already.

* * *

><p>Morgana was awoken by the gentle and soothing feeling of fingers brushing over her cheek. She looked up through hazy eyes to see Merlin perched on the edge of her bed.<p>

"Good morning." Morgana said in a croaked voice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Merlin said after guiltily removing his hand.

"I don't mind."

Morgana noticed the mess of bedding on the floor next to her, and smiled fondly at him.

"You didn't have to sleep on the floor you know, my bed's much more comfortable." Morgana stated, then instantly regretted it. "I mean, obviously not in _that_ way and certainly not if you didn't want to…"

"I wanted to." Merlin interrupted honestly. "But I didn't want to intrude. I just wanted to stay close to make sure you were ok."

"That's so sweet." Morgana said with a smirk, before pulling his mouth to hers with a hand behind his neck.

Merlin was startled at first, confused by Morgana's sudden change in attitude.

Her mood swings were really starting to give him whiplash. How can someone go from being a nervous wreck one day, crying and screaming, to being normal, (or what he hoped was normal,) the next morning like nothing ever happened?

Despite his confusion, Merlin crawled up onto the bed to get into a more comfortable position, moving his body until his thighs rested on either side of her hips. Merlin let her take the lead although he kissed back as fiercely as she was, letting her hands search his body as if reassuring herself that he was really there.

"We shouldn't be doing this." Merlin breathed into her shoulder, his hands twisted in the pillow on either side of Morgana's head.

"I know," Morgana agreed, taking hold of his shoulders and rolling him to the side, then clambering atop of him and pinning his wrists down next to his head. "But doesn't that make it even more exciting?" she asked rhetorically, attaching her lips to his neck.

"I thought you wanted to talk about this?" Merlin asked back as he tilted his head to look her in the eye, limiting her access to his neck.

"I haven't had breakfast yet. You know how hungry I get in the mornings so you won't get any decent conversation out of me since I will be picturing you as a slice of toast now shut up and kiss me for god's sake!"

Merlin complied eagerly, resting his now-free hands on Morgana's firm hips.

Morgana was slowly lowering her hands down his chest, kissing a line from his neck down his shirt when…

There was a knock at the door.

"_Damn it!"_ Merlin cursed in his head while Morgana openly said it, throwing herself off the bed and charging towards the door.

She pulled once, twice, three four five times of the door knob but it didn't budge.

"Go away!" Morgana ordered through the door, crossing her arms sulkily and striding back over to the bed.

Merlin met Morgana half way, placing a kiss to her temple before unlocking the door with his magic and opening it.

It was Gwen.

"Sorry, am I interrupting something?" Gwen asked nervously.

"Yes." Morgana shot at the same time Merlin said _"Nope."_

"Morgana's just extra moody this morning." Merlin replied, giving Morgana a stern look.

"You're darn right I am." Morgana said grumpily before slouching into a chair.

Gwen hesitated before entering the room, looking at Morgana as if asking for permission. Morgana responded with a sweet smile before sticking her tongue out at Merlin.

"You're a bit early though don't you think?" Morgana questioned as she straightened her posture.

"Well, it's gone midday already..." Gwen replied with uncertainty.

"What!" Morgana shrieked, already running her hands through her hair to check its cleanliness. "Merlin, why didn't you wake me up!"

"I did…"

"Before that, Merlin."

"You looked so peaceful…" Merlin said shyly.

"Well I'm not anymore!" Morgana shouted, jumping up from the chair and heading straight to the dressing table.

"That's why I didn't want to wake you up!" Merlin defended, crossing the room to her side and gazing at her angry reflection.

"If you would have woken me up at least three hours ago then I wouldn't be angry right now would I!"

"Oh please, you're only stressed out right now because you think your hair is a mess. Well it's not, it looks beautiful like always." Merlin said with an appeasing smile, placing his hands on the dressing table on either side of her body.

"Really? Thanks..." Morgana blushed, leaning back against his chest while watching her fingers twirl around the nearest curl.

"I am still here you know." Came the forgotten voice from behind them.

Sorry." Merlin apologized, slowly retracting his hands from the dressing table so Morgana wouldn't fall back.

Morgana hesitated for a moment, wanting to grab his hands and keep him near her despite Gwen only being meters away, but fear stopped her from doing so.

What if he just pulled away from her?

It wouldn't be the first time, and now they had company.

Sure Gwen had promised not to say anything but that was before Morgana's _'incident'_ yesterday. That was why Gwen was here after all, but what were they suppose too tell her? That she was being haunted by the most powerful and psychopathic warlock on earth? That she was merely going insane?

That's probably what they all thought, that's probably what Emrys wanted; for them all to think she's going mad so they won't believe or trust her if something happens.

Morgana glanced up when she heard the door opening.

"Could you please ask the cook to prepare two breakfasts and bring them up here for me?"

"Of course, My Lady." She heard the guard reply.

"Thank you very much." Gwen said before smiling and closing the door.

"Right, so about what happened last night..."Gwen started, placing herself gracefully in a chair, her hands clasped together on the table in front of her and looking at them both expectantly.

Morgana and Merlin both exchanged worried glances.

* * *

><p>They lied.<p>

Or rather, Merlin lied, and Morgana nodded along.

A part of her felt bad for lying to Gwen, especially after they had only just started to rebuild their friendship, but at least Gwen was gullible enough and believed the story completely.

Probably because Merlin told it, and everybody trusts Merlin. It surprised Morgana how easily lying came to him, but the words fell out of his mouth like he was reading it of a piece of parchment; a handy talent to have when you harbor a secret that could get you killed.

Morgana prided herself as a decent liar too, although Merlin was always the one person she could never fool.

"So how long will it be until Gaius it able to fix it?" Gwen asked.

"He's unsure. The magic is fighting its way back into Morgana and since she's resisting it, it will have some consequential side-effects on her. But the treatment is not unheard of; it's just not something that is done very often." Merlin replied confidently.

Morgana hoped Merlin wasn't being serious, even if it was only fractionally. Magic was a part of her as much as magic was a part of him, and she couldn't lose it even if she didn't need it for destructive means anymore.

She knew that the damage to the room yesterday was all her fault since she had felt that familiar tingle scratching at the surface of her skin and pouring out of her; it felt good. She had missed that feeling terribly, and wanted desperately to feel it again now that it was gone.

That was one thing she didn't understand. Why would her magic only return in that moment? Was it another one of Emrys's sick jokes? To give her a glimpse of what he took from her before he tore her apart?

Morgana hoped one day she could think of something without automatically blaming Emrys.

"So you see why you mustn't tell anyone?" Merlin questioned, looking at Gwen with those adorable eyes that made Morgana want to bundle him up in her arms or attack him with her mouth.

Granted the last idea was only recently introduced to her mind.

Gwen sighed.

"If it was anyone else who was asking me, Merlin, I would say no without a moment of hesitation." Gwen admitted. "You do realize you're asking me to lie to my husband?"

"I know, and I'm sorry for placing this burden upon you…"

"So I'm a burden now am I, Merlin?" Morgana asked in a shocked tone.

"No, of course not! That's not what I meant. You know that's not what I meant…"

"Merlin…"

"What?"

"I'm only teasing…" Morgana said with a fond smile.

"Right." Merlin replied, embarrassed.

Gwen cleared her throat all too loudly.

"Your new _'thing'_ is cute and all, but seriously, there's a time and a place…"

"Sorry." They both replied in unison.

Gwen's gaze drifted between the two of them a few times before she visibly shivered.

"Ok…I'm off then." Gwen said hastily.

"But…"

"Yes, I will keep this a secret, Merlin, but _do_ _not _let it get out of hand. And if and harm comes to anyone in my kingdom because of this, I will go straight to Arthur, clear?" Gwen said authoritatively.

"Crystal, your highness."

"Good."

Merlin could barely hear Gwen's footsteps over the sound of Morgana sniggering.

"Oh, and Merlin…" Gwen said as she reached the door

"Yes?"

"Don't ever call me _'your highness'_ again, it's quite unnerving coming from you." She finished with a warm smile, before straightening her posture and walking out the room.

"Finally." Morgana breathed as she jumped out of her chair. "I thought she would never leave."

"Well at least she was understanding." Merlin replied somewhat defensively.

"You can't say she was _'understanding'_ when you told her a pack of lies." Morgana scoffed.

"Some of it was true."

"Only fractionally. My magic may be returning to me, _no thanks to you_, but I'm not going to fight it, I'm going to embrace it with open arms and lock it up so it can never leave me again." Morgana admitted rather energetically, as she twirled around the room like she was in the middle of the court yard during the harvest celebrations, (like she had done every year with the children before she had changed,) either that or she was on a sugar rush; that wasn't uncommon with her either.

Merlin watched as Morgana childishly, but adorably, dive bombed onto the bed sending pillows all over the floor.

"Why are you so happy?" Merlin questioned with an amused smirk.

Morgana sat up to attention immediately, hair covering her face and blanket bundled up in her arms like a kitten.

"I don't know." She replied, somewhat sadly.

Morgana's pout smoothly turned into a grin, before she patted the space on the bed next to her.

"Join me?" She said alluringly.

"Morgana, we need to talk."

"Don't be a_ bore_, Merlin." She said while rolling her eyes and flopping back into the mess of blankets.

"I'm being serious." He said as he slowly sat himself on the end of the bed.

"Well don't be, I've had enough of that for one day thank you very much."

"But…"

Morgana groaned loudly before chucking one of her large pillows at him, hitting him straight in the head.

"Hey!" Merlin moaned as he caught the pillow before it hit the floor. "We are_ not_ having another pillow fight."

"No, we are not, because you're a cheater."

"You're vicious!"

"You're wimpy." Morgana retorted.

"Oh yeah?" Merlin asked with one eye brow raised.

Morgana sat up slowly, then shuffled forward till she was nearly nose to nose with Merlin, her legs tucked beneath her.

"_Yeah_." She whispered with a cheeky smile, which was soon matched by Merlin's own smile before he pounced forward, playfully forcing her to the bed as his fingers attacked her body and she screamed with laughter, wriggling around as she tried to defend herself.

"That's cheating again!" Morgana accused breathlessly, jabbing her fingers into Merlin's sides.

Merlin merely laughed at her and continued to tickle, Morgana's hands now captured in his left.

"Do you surrender?" He asked in a mock-serious voice.

"Never!" Morgana squealed defiantly, her wiggling now more vibrant.

It didn't take long until Merlin was on his back, Morgana astride him holding his hand above his head. She leaned in close enough to kiss and opened her mouth slowly, her gaze never leaving his.

"Ha!" She shouted, before teasingly nipping the end of his nose. "I win again."

* * *

><p>Arthur had always loved the view of the kingdom from the battlements, especially during a fiery sunset accompanied by a cool breeze. And now, with Gwen tucked under his chin and snuggled safely in his arms, it seemed all the more perfect.<p>

This was the first time they had really spent time together to just do nothing. Ever since they got married it seemed like every moment they spent together was rushed, they hadn't had the time to just enjoy each other's company, enjoy the silence.

Their honeymoon could have gone better; the setting was perfect, the weather was perfect, Gwen was perfect, and they were about to constitute their marriage, when Gwen started crying.

Now Arthur had no problem comforting Gwen when she was upset, and could understand if she was scared, but then she told him it was about the whole 'Lancelot' thing. She was worried that Arthur wouldn't be able to trust her again, and that eventually their marriage would fall apart because of it. This was all nonsense of course which he persisted to tell her, but nothing seemed to ease her mind.

Consequently, they did not make love that night.

But now that the truth was out about the incident with Lancelot there were no more walls standing between them and their relationship. And although Arthur had fully forgiven Gwen beforehand, it was a huge relief knowing that now she could now have peace of mind too.

Peace of mind on the larger scale however, did not come easy.

As soon as they get five minutes to themselves, the warning bells go off.

"_Why does my kingdom hate me?"_ Arthur thought as he unsheathed his sword, pulled Gwen behind him and made his way back into the castle.

* * *

><p>"Why does the kingdom hate me!" Morgana shrieked as she thumped her head against Merlin's chest like it was a brick wall.<p>

"Ow." Merlin moaned rather pathetically, before lifting Morgana off of him by her shoulders to see what all the commotion was about.

"I thought the expression was _saved by the bell_, not _interrupted and have your moment destroyed_ by the bell!" Morgana complained as she pulled her dress higher and straightened out the sides.

"What's going on?" Merlin asked Elyan who was jogging down the corridor in that knightly way they do, with three guards behind him.

"An intruder was spotted in the king's chambers." He stated before eyeing Merlin's rumpled clothing, and then hurrying off when Morgana gave him the death stare.

"I have to go." Merlin said as he spun round to face a moody Morgana.

Morgana's expression quickly changed to confusion and then panic.

"What? Why!" She asked while taking a few steps closer to him.

"He may be in danger. I may not be his servant anymore but that does not mean I'm going to stop protecting him, far from it in fact."

"But…"

"You can come with me if you want." Merlin suggested, hoping to ease her worry.

"I'm not a baby Merlin!" Morgana said strongly, crossing her arms.

"I didn't mean that I only thought…"

"Go."

Merlin froze, puzzled.

"What?" He questioned in a shocked tone.

"I said go. I don't need you to protect me I can take care of myself."

"I know you can." Merlin said softly.

"Then what are you waiting for? The doors that way." She said while pointing to the door, "Go and put your life in danger once again because it's obviously clear that the guards can't handle one intruder by themselves; they might as well of been hand-picked from a random cart of traveling morons in the middle of the forest.." Morgana finished with a forced, calm tone.

"Hmm, perhaps you're on to something there." Merlin replied, clearly not picking up on Morgana's sarcasm or choosing wisely to ignore it. "Are you sure you don't…"

"This isn't about _me_, Merlin, it's about Arthur. It's always going to be about Arthur. I shouldn't have expected anything more." Morgana interrupted with more aggression and jealously than she meant to let out.

Merlin didn't have time for this right now. He couldn't let Morgana get in the way of his destiny, if he did he would have Gaius and Killgarrah down on him like a ton of rocks, (not to mention maybe a dead Arthur.)

"We'll talk when I get back." Merlin stated before heading towards the door.

"There's nothing to talk about." Morgana replied while retreating further into the room for no reason.

Morgana heard him open the door as she reached the window, but never heard it close. Merlin stared at her guiltily, half way in and half way out of the room.

However much Morgana wanted him to stay, a part of her also wanted him to leave. Morgana had been all on her own for over a year and a half, and ever since coming back to Camelot she had barely had more than five minutes to herself.

She needed to think. She needed a plan. But she also needed Merlin.

"You know, your loyalty to Arthur will get you killed someday." Morgana said coldly, knowing he wouldn't reply and it would probably get rid of him.

It did.

Merlin silently closed the door as he left, the sound of the key turning in the door both making Morgana feel safer and more insecure.

Morgana fought the urge to give out a loud scream, just to make herself feel a tiny bit better.

She settled for pushing the table on her left and its contents to the floor, and then waking her head against the wall.

"Well I thought we would never be alone." A confident voice said from somewhere in the shadows.

Morgana spun round and scanned the room, her fear only masked by her rage.

"Emrys?" Morgana asked the room with surprising confidence.

The voice chuckled.

"Not quiet, my lady, quite the opposite in fact."

The intruder casually stepped out into the middle of the room, lifting his head high and eyeing her expectantly.

Morgana instantly recognized him, a warm feeling settling in her stomach as she began to take a few short steps deeper into the room.

"Hello Morgana." He said smoothly, a half smile playing on his lips.

"Mordred." Morgana breathed out in disbelief, their bodies now only inches apart.

Morgana's hand hovered near his face, the urge to pull the younger man into her arms hard to fight.

"What are you doing here?" She asked with uncertainty.

Mordred searched her mind for the connection they once shared, only to no prevail. That part of her had been burned out of her along with the rest of her magic.

His eyes softened as he held his hand out toward her.

"I've come to take you home."


	17. Long Time No See

**xxx I know, late again, although it hasn't been 6 months this time so i say that's progress...This chapter is a bit of a filler but i know exactly where i'm going now for the rest of the story so just bare with me :D xxx**

* * *

><p>"I don't understand." Morgana said innocently, now backing away slightly.<p>

Mordred noticed her moving away and took a few small steps closer, careful not to scare her away any further.

"You don't belong here Morgana, not any more. You belong with us, with your own kind." He said gently.

Morgana furrowed her eyebrows at him.

"Who's to say I don't belong here?" She questioned, her voice rising slightly. "This is where I want to be, Mordred."

"You can't seriously mean that? No one here understands you or will except you for who you really are."

"You are wrong." Morgana replied confidently.

Mordred paused for a thoughtful second, backing away from her again and crossing his arms.

"You mean Merlin?" He asked with a spiteful tone.

Morgana gave him a sharp look and said nothing.

She had always cared for Mordred when he was a boy, and he had done nothing since then to change that, but she couldn't just leave with him after she had tried so hard to get her life back in Camelot.

There was also her feelings towards Merlin; feelings she never imagined she could have for another person again. And even though they still had their fights and many obstacles left to overcome, she had never been surer that something was right for her in her life.

"It may be that he cares for you, Morgana," Mordred continued after some time, "But you will never be his first choice, you know that already."

Morgana knew exactly who he was talking about; Arthur.

She had never truly understood the devotion Merlin had towards Arthur, or why he was prepared to sacrifice himself for him over and over again, but it scared her a great deal.

She wasn't jealous though. Morgana wouldn't want Merlin to die for her nor suspected that he would. A life without him in it now seemed cruel and empty, a life not worth living.

"That doesn't matter." Morgana lied, staring down at her own feet to try and cover it up.

"Doesn't it?" Mordred asked disbelievingly, now much closer to her than was comfortable. "We all have our destinies, Morgana, and you can't escape it."

Morgana made quick eye contact with him, trying hard not to move away from him once more. It wasn't in her nature to cower away, no matter how hard Emrys tried to make it so, and there was no way she was going to let him tell her what to do.

"I can try." She said strongly, moving to cross her arms over her chest.

Mordred made a desperate grab for her wrist, to plea with her or force her she didn't know, and frankly didn't care.

"Let go off me Mordred!" She demanded but as soon as the words left her mouth, the now familiar glow of her necklace shot him back against the far wall.

"Mordred!" Morgana cried as she rushed over to his side and knelt down next to him, pulling him into her arms. "I'm so sorry." She murmured guiltily, holding her hand against the side of his face.

Merlin burst through the doors moments later, out of breath and frantically searching around the room for her.

"What happened?" Merlin asked in confusion as he eyed Morgana on the floor, the druid boy in her arms.

"I didn't mean for it too," Morgana said in a high pitch voice, trying to hold in her tears, (there had been for too much of that.) "It just happened!"

The boy was in obvious pain, but still found the strength to shoot daggers in Merlin's direction.

"_Hello again, Emrys." _Merlin heard in his head, and the sudden realisation of who he was had him dragging Morgana away from him instantly.

"Mordred." Merlin spat out, now pulling Morgana behind him despite her protests.

"Not the welcome I was hoping for," Mordred stated as he forced himself into a stand, "But it will do."

This was in no way good.

If knowing Mordred was a threat towards Arthur wasn't bad enough, knowing he was the one person who could destroy all the progress Morgana had made and the relationship they shared made it ten times worse.

"Merlin, it's alright," Morgana said calmly, placing her hand on his shoulder, "Mordred isn't a threat to us."

"The necklace is meant to protect you and it sent him flying across the room, do the math Morgana."

Merlin instantly felt guilty for the harshness of his words, but just being in the same breathing space as Mordred made his whole body go on edge. He didn't care why he was here, all he cared about was getting him gone and as quickly as possible.

"You're the intruder the guards are looking for, aren't you?" Merlin accused, holding his arm across Morgana's chest as she continued to be stubborn.

"A simple trick of the mind," he replied with fake humility, "Nothing more."

"Really? Well perhaps you can leave as easily as you came." Merlin said flatly, giving Mordred a dangerous look.

"Merlin…" Morgana began, only to be cut off by Mordred's hand.

"It's alright, Morgana, there's no reason to stick around any longer. I've clearly had a wasted journey." He said with a friendly smile. "It was nice seeing the both off you again."

And with a nod, he began limping his was towards the door.

"I'll show you out." Merlin said un-necessarily, beating Mordred to the door and holding it open for him.

"Goodbye, Mordred." Morgana said lightly, her hand slowly waving though Mordred never turned around.

"What are you doing here?" Merlin demanded once they were alone in the corridor.

"I heard that Morgana was back here," He began, placing his hand against the wall for support, "I came to rescue her."

"She doesn't need rescuing." Merlin scoffed.

Mordred looked down at his feet with an unreadable look on his face.

"Clearly." He said sadly, before regaining himself and smiling at Merlin. "I did not mean to cause you any distress, and don't worry," Mordred paused and began making his way down the corridor, "I will not tell Morgana that _you_ are the reason she lives every day in fear."

Before Merlin could even think of a reply, Mordred disappeared like he was never really there at all.

* * *

><p>By mutual agreement, Merlin and Morgana never spoke of Mordred's visit or the argument before hand for that matter.<p>

For the following week life began to get a lot easier for the pair: Merlin's tight leach on Morgana's whereabouts slipped into something a bit more comfortable, even though they both preferred each other's company to anyone else's, and Merlin was happy enough to see to his own errands while Morgana spent the day with Guinevere, doing whatever it is that girls do.

They managed to get through one feast without any accidently-on-purpose wine spillages, (unless Morgana chucking her drink over a rather crude drunken knight counted, but Morgana insisted that it was completely necessary and any respectable Lady would have done the same,) and Morgana made polite conversation with a few other members of the court, complete with bright smiles and light giggles. Merlin noticed that sometimes her laughter was forced, but made no comment about it.

Merlin didn't know how Morgana convinced him to take her down to the local tailor for a dress fitting, but found he didn't care when she twirled around enthusiastically in front of him in various states of undress, eager for his opinion on which colour or style complimented certain parts of her body. He let her have her fun and play dress-up with him for a while, forcing him into many different outfits with ruffles and laces just to laugh at how ridiculous he looked or the expression on his face, but he didn't really mind, (too see her laugh genuinely was a sight to behold, something he wanted to keep hold off forever,) however the shop keeper certainly did and if Morgana was anyone but the King's sister, Merlin was sure he would of kicked them out hours ago.

Near the end of the week Arthur left on patrol with a small group of his knights, something to do with the ever nearing battle between Camelot and Mercia, and something Merlin knew he should have been paying more attention too.

However, instead of being by Arthur's side like he normally was, he was being dragged into the stables by Morgana who took two horses already saddled with supplies, and then lead him out of Camelot with no more information than _"When the cats away, Merlin," _and a mischievous smirk.

Merlin didn't object or ask any questions, he just went along with it as she galloped ahead and deeper into the forest, her hair swaying rather perfectly behind her.

He kicked himself for not realising their destination sooner, but Morgana's expression upon seeing her abandoned home stopped any forming protests to turn back.

"Morgana, what are we doing here?" He asked instead, eying her blank expression carefully.

Morgana chose not to reply, and after a deep breath began making her way down the hill towards the door of her little hovel, seemingly in some sort of trance.

Merlin followed her less graciously, slipping on a muddy patch and falling at her feet, and when Morgana offered her hand he took it reluctantly, embarrassed by his unavoidable clumsiness.

Morgana's hand pressed shakily on the wooden door, pushing it open with as little force as possible. Her eyes trailed over even inch of the cluttered space, now thickly layered in dust. Her fingers brushed against familiar objects, tracing every detail of her forgotten belongings.

Merlin lingered behind her and watched her expression carefully, trying to read every feeling she possessed at that very moment. After a while he slid in behind her, his arm holding her close to his chest.

"I just wanted to see…" Morgana started, her fingers now enjoined with Merlin's around her waist.

"It's okay." He soothed.

"I just wanted to see if I missed it." She finished, her eyebrows wrinkling as if she had only just come to that conclusion.

"And do you?" Merlin asked hesitantly.

"A little," She replied honestly before moving her hand to caress his cheek. "I miss the quiet mostly, and the open space of the forest surrounding, to not wake every day to the crowded streets below or the guards strewn in every corridor; this place is freedom."

"But lonely." Merlin added for her, confused at the grin that began to form on Morgana's lips.

"Not as lonely as you may think." She said, turning is his arms and placing both hands against his chest. "There's someone I'd like you to meet."

* * *

><p>Merlin's feet began to ache as Morgana lead him on another wild goose chase through the forest, his footing betraying him once more as they walked down a large incline towards some sort of cave.<p>

"Don't freak out." Morgana said worriedly as she picked him up from the ground once more.

"Trust me, Morgana, I doubt there's anything you could show me that's weirder or scarier than anything I have seen already." Merlin replied dully, stilling Morgana's fussing hands on his arms.

"Okay…" She drawled out, giving him one last look before stepping towards the entrance of the cave. "Wait here." She ordered over her shoulder, and then she disappeared into the darkness.

Merlin instantly felt anxious as soon as he lost sight of her, and found waiting where he was really difficult to do.

After a few minutes passed he began impatiently walking back and forth in front of the entrance, his fingers agitatedly wiping against his lips.

What Merlin least expected was to be pushed to the ground by a great force on his back, making him let out a rather undignified squeak of surprise. He wriggled desperately out of its grasp, his jacket now hanging damply from his dragon's mouth.

Merlin couldn't stop himself from mumbling her name in recognition, Morgana's hysterics now dwindling down as she gave him a funny look.

"Aithusa?" She questioned, looking between her love and her baby dragon confusedly.

"Umm…" Was all Merlin managed to get out as he picked himself off the ground once again, before Aithusa pushed her scaly head against his hand, his jacket now crumpled at his feet.

"You know her?" Morgana asked accusingly, stepping forward to place her hand on the dragons back.

Aithusa was beautiful, just as he remembered her, albeit slightly unhealthy looking. The vibrant white she was when she was a baby was now dulled into a murky grey, her eyes lacking the warm glow Kilgharrah's held. Yet she stood proud on her back legs, her body now coming way past his hip as she leant into his hand and her back arched into Morgana's touch.

Many question's hit him all at once, like why was Kilgharrah no longer looking after her? Why didn't he inform Merlin that she was gone? After all, as a dragonlord he thought he had the right to know. And most importantly, how on earth did Morgana know of her?

There was no way he could lie too Morgana about his connection to the dragon, not with the way Aithusa was acting so familiar around him.

He wondered how she even recognised him after all this time. After all he had only spent a few moments with her before Kilgharrah had flown her away, eager to bond with and teach his new…what, sister? Friend?

Maybe she could just sense it somehow.

"Umm, yes, I know her." Merlin responded confidently, not at all eager to go into details.

"How?"

_Crap._

"I'm a dragonlord." He replied suddenly, shocking himself with his own honestly.

Morgana blinked a few times and began creeping closer to Aithusa's head, possessiveness creeping under her skin.

"What? But…how?" She stuttered, bending down to the dragon height as she fiddled with her horns and stroked her neck like you would a dog.

"It's a gift I inherited from my farther, not really that interesting but what _is_ interesting is how _you _know her…" Merlin said hurriedly, his hand now creeping away from Aithusa as he began to feel awkward.

Morgana smiled fondly down at her dragon now on all fours, placing her hands on either side of her face and beginning to coo at her like a baby, which Merlin found rather strange but cute.

"She saved my life." Morgana stated after a while, sighing at the memory. "During Arthur's little take back of the castle, I was severely wounded by a knight and without my magic to heal me I eventually died in the middle of the forest."

Merlin flinched at this, although it was obvious she didn't meet her death, knowing he actually succeeded in killing her was a blow to his heart.

"She found me and brought me back to life," Morgana continued, "It was a miracle. And ever since that day a bond has formed between us. We took care of each other; she protected me from danger while I brought her food and kept her safe in my home on stormy nights. But, after a while, when Arthur began to close in on my location, I was forced to flee and leave her behind."

Regret filled Morgana's voice as she looked upon her baby dragon, tears threatening to fall from her eyes as Aithusa pushed closer to her in an attempt to comfort, which Morgana took gratefully.

"I didn't want to leave her but I knew she would only be in danger if she stayed with me." She cried, her hand flying to her mouth to try and stifle her sobs.

"It's okay." Merlin said comfortingly, dropping to the floor beside her and pulling her into his arms.

She came easily, weeping louder into his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

After a few moments, Aithusa miserably draped her long neck across both of their legs, her head squeezing in between Morgana's arms and Merlin's chest.

* * *

><p>To Merlin's surprise, Morgana was a very good cook and insisted on doing everything herself, (though catching a rabbit served to be a little difficult and Merlin had to stun it with his magic, which Morgana did <em>not<em> appreciate.)

It almost seemed quite natural; sitting around a small table together in Morgana's old and battered home, enjoying a home cooked meal while Aithusa chewed on some sort of animal in the corner, knocking potion bottles and various other weird things over with her tail.

Morgana seemed more relaxed than usual which was a nice change, just being away from Camelot lifting her mood completely. They talked for what seemed like hours, digging up old memories and relaying them like it was yesterday, mostly funny and happy ones but with a few more personal ones that were safely shared between one another, strengthening the strong bond they already shared.

They slept surprisingly well that night in the small bed; Merlin spooning Morgana's back while Aithusa curled up on their entangled legs with her head rested by Morgana's chest.

This was now the fifth day and night that had passed without any nightmares or mention of the name _'Emrys,' _but Merlin didn't dare get his hopes up that things were becoming normal.

It wasn't that Merlin was waiting for Morgana to have another _'episode,'_ but there was no point in revealing his secret if things were going to right themselves, was there? After all, Morgana finding out that he was Emrys could be the one thing that would destroy their relationship and make him loose Morgana forever.

* * *

><p>Nothing could have prepared Merlin for waking up completely and utterly alone in the small hut, no Morgana or dragon to be seen, and he instantly began to panic as he scanned the room.<p>

Jumping to his feet he made quick work of pulling on his boots and bolting through the door, sifting his fingers through his hair as he spun in frantic circles and called her name. When he received no reply, (not that he was really expecting one,) he began running through the forest, instinct telling him to head in the opposite direction to Camelot.

He cursed himself for being so stupid as to let Morgana leave Camelot, but he honestly thought that she was happy enough there and with him that she wouldn't try and run away. He didn't think he would make her come back if she didn't want to, but he couldn't just let her leave without knowing why or trying to convince her to change her mind.

Arthur was already going to be mad at him for letting her leave but if he returned without her? Well, it definitely wouldn't be good.

Just as he stopped and remembered the tracking spell he had placed on the enchanted necklace, placing his hands on his thighs and taking in large amounts of air, he spotted her not too far to his right, kneeling on the autumn covered ground with Aithusa by her side, chanting under her breath...


	18. Get Ready To Collide

**RE-POSTED**

**Warnings for some swearing in this chapter, (i have edited the sexual scene in this because i felt like it didn't work with the story, so i'm sorry to the people who liked it. If you like i could re-post that scene separately as an edited scene.) **

**xxx Okay, it's been about a week and a half since my last update so i'm considering that progress, and hopefully i will be getting a new chapter out at least once a week for the last few parts of the story. I'm hoping for three more chapters and an epilogue, but that might easily become four so we'll just have to see. xxx**

* * *

><p>Morgana's knees had begun to go numb, her fingertips frozen from holding them over the stubborn candle for so long.<p>

She had felt it, she was sure of it; the familiar buzz of magic fluttering around her body and pulling her from her sleep. She had beamed excitedly in the darkness and turned to the sleeping man by her side, Aithusa's large eyes trailing her movements carefully.

She didn't have the heart to wake him, not knowing the amount of sleep he had lost looking after her in the night, calming her down with his gentle words and reassuring touches. Instead she traced her fingers down the side of his innocent face and into his messy hair, placing a light kiss to his forehead before plying herself from his arms.

She had felt an emptiness as soon as she had got up from the bed but had pushed it to the back of her mind, instead focusing on the task at hand. Her fingers found an unused candle on the dresser; _Perfect_. Fire magic was among the most basic of spells and wouldn't use too much energy; she didn't want to push anything.

Then, carefully removing her old black cloak from behind the door she made her way into the forest, Aithusa not to far behind her.

That was over three hours ago and her patience was wearing thin. Yet she refused to give up. She couldn't, not when she was so close.

Aithusa looked positively bored beside her, which didn't help at all.

She didn't know whether she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs or cry like a little girl. Neither would help, so what was the harm in doing both?

"Stupid, fucking candle!" She cried, throwing it at the nearest tree and then ducking when some of the broken pieces flew back at her. Her hands twisted painfully in her hair as she rested her head against her thighs.

"I HATE YOU EMRYS!" She continued to scream, tears now rimming her eyes, "YOU AND YOUR FUCKING STICK, AND YOUR STUPID, OVERGROWN BEARD, AND YOUR FUCKING CREEPY SMILE! I HATE YOU!"

Morgana was so glad she had chosen a spot far away from her home as she began to sob into her dress. She didn't want Merlin to see her like this; he had been so happy these past few days that Morgana had been completely fine, and she didn't want to ruin that.

Morgana carefully entangled her fingers from there punishing grip on her hair and lifted her head towards the skies.

"Why are you doing this to me?" She whispered, tears falling freely down her cheeks.

Unbeknownst to her, hidden by a large tree just a few paces behind her, the man she loved and hated the most slid down to his knees and gasped for breath, his hands placed shakily against his mouth to stop himself from being heard as he cried along with her.

* * *

><p>When Morgana finally returned it was to two cooked breakfast's laid out on the table, and Merlin fixing the bed sheets. Although she was absolutely starving she found herself wondering over to Merlin's side where he immediately placed his arms around her. His hold on her was tighter than necessary, as if he was the one that needed to be comforted, but Morgana couldn't have cared less.<p>

She sighed into his shoulder and tried to push their bodies even closer, if that was even possible.

After breakfast her mood had picked up again, her tantrum in the forest pushed to the back of her mind.

Merlin was disturbingly quiet all morning and barely made eye contact with her, keeping himself busy by tidying up her little hovel. Dusting, throwing stuff out, (though where she did not know,) and even putting her potions and poisons into alphabetical order.

When Morgana had had enough of Merlin obsessively cleaning the entire hut, she stopped him with a kiss, her hands wrapping around his neck when she feared him pulling away.

He didn't, and when she moved back slightly to take in his expression a small grin was beginning to play on his lips. Morgana smiled at the sight before pulling him in again, this time more fiercely as she forced her way into his mouth. Merlin held himself steady with his hands on her hips as he let himself be dominated, Morgana pushing against his chest until his back hit the wooden door with a loud "_whump."_

Morgana giggled as she peeled the jacket from his shoulders and let it slip to the floor, placing hungry kisses on Merlin's shoulders before twisting his neckerchief in her hand and pulling his mouth back to hers. She let out a gasp as Merlin sucked on her bottom lip and moved his hands to cup her breasts, her own fingers now tucked into his trousers and tracing his sharp hipbones.

In one frantic movement her hands were searching for his belt buckle, clawing at it to no avail as fingers circled her wrists and restricted her movement.

"We can't." Merlin panted into her chest, bringing his lips down to mouth as her left breast.

Morgana was ashamed of the loud whining noise she made, her hand cupping Merlin's chin and bringing his head up to look her in the eyes.

"_Why…" _She demanded pitifully, her free hand slithering up his chest under his shirt.

"Because it's against the rules…"

"_Fuck _the rules!"

"But Arthur will _kill _me." Merlin protested weakly.

"He won't know! And we're not even _in_ Camelot right now! Rules don't apply in my house." She shot back, her hands now encased in his as she made a grab at the belt buckle once more.

"_Morgana…"_ He whispered firmly, though his face was just as miserable as hers, "No…"

Morgana huffed and then resumed kissing Merlin, both hands tight against the sides of his face.

"You're honourable, Merlin," She whispered against his lips, looking deeply into his oceanic blue eyes, _"Damn you."_

Merlin laughed as he turned his attention towards her neck, Morgana's hands now rested against his hips. She relished in the way his fingers filtered through her hair, tilting her head to the side to allow him more access to her neck.

"You're amazing…" Merlin muttered into her skin, his kisses slowing down to appreciate the warm softness of her skin.

She met his lips once more, taking him in deeply as their heart rates returned to normal.

"As are you." She breathed out, tracing her fingers along his collarbone tenderly.

The words _"I love you" _lingered in the air around them but never quite made it past their lips. They didn't need to. Morgana didn't need to hear Merlin say he loved her to know that it was true; she could tell just by the way he looked at her, smiled at her, held her in his arms.

He was hers and she was his, forever.

* * *

><p>They headed back to Camelot the following morning.<p>

Watching Morgana say goodbye to Aithusa was a hard thing to watch, especially with Kilgharrah shouting at him in dragon tongue about how foolish he was. He also called Morgana a selection of very colourful names, though she was none the wiser.

When they returned to Camelot he received the same treatment from a _very_ angry Arthur, who had returned a day early from his patrol when he received word of their disappearance. Surprisingly, Arthur seamed more angry about them putting themselves in danger than the possibility of Morgana running of to _"do bad, magiky things."_

Gaius also scolded him for making him worry, pulling him and Morgana into a warm hug and shooing them on their way, while Gwen just gave them a knowing look that they both found quite unsettling.

In the evening they shared an awkward meal with Arthur, Gwen, and the knights, the only person seemingly unaffected was Gwaine who entertained them all with a few of his tales for the first ten minutes.

When everyone had finished Merlin slid his hand into Morgana's lap and she held it in both of hers, almost placing her head against his shoulder instinctively before realising where they were.

This was the first time Merlin had properly sat down for a meal with his friends without having to serve it, and he had to stop himself helping out on more than one occasion.

He didn't miss being a servant, not really, but he missed being something. Looking after Morgana no longer felt like a job to him although he was still paid the same wage, and he couldn't help but feel slightly out of place.

He remembered Gwen going through the same thing when she first became queen. She had told him one morning they were alone in Arthur's chambers knowing he was the only one who could understand. She never let it show at any other time though, in fact if you didn't know of her background then you would've been completely fooled into thinking she was natural born royalty.

Morgana shifted in her chair next to him accidently nudging him from his thoughts. He turned towards her to see if she was okay, only to find her deep in conversation with Sir Leon. Merlin smiled proudly before turning to Arthur.

"Will you and the patrol be leaving again tomorrow?" He asked attentively.

"_Fortunately,_ Merlin, for you, we already have all the information we need." Arthur replied before taking a swig of his drink.

"You didn't mention that earlier."

"It wasn't relevant."

Merlin scoffed but didn't retort, fiddling with the hem of Morgana's dress between his fingers.

"We ride out for Mercia in a week." Arthur continued more seriously, running his finger around the rim of his goblet.

"I thought you were trying to make peace with Bayard?" Merlin asked curiously, resting the side of his head on his knuckles.

"He will not listen to reason." Arthur replied sullenly.

Merlin couldn't help but worry for him and what could happen without him there. What if Bayard had magic on his side? It would make sense since he wanted Morgana out of the way, and it was no secret that Bayard's attitude towards magic differed from Uther's. Magic was still outlawed in Mercia, however it was rumoured that he used sorcerers for his own bidding.

Merlin couldn't help but think in some ways he was even worse than Uther.

"I'm going with you." Merlin blurted after some time, and instantly felt Morgana's grip on his hand tighten.

"Merlin, it's too dangerous…"

"Exactly," Merlin protested, plastering a smile on his face, "how on earth would you cope without me there?

That earned him a laugh at least, and not just from Arthur.

"You're not my servant anymore though, Merlin." Arthur continued to protest, though Merlin could tell he was considering it.

"Mmm…I'm sure George and his brass jokes will prove much better company. Maybe he can sing you the_ polishing_ _song_ to calm your nerves before battle." Merlin teased, grinning wildly as Arthur's eyes filled with horror.

He slowly turned his body in his chair till the neatly dressed servant came into view, standing to attention near the wall with a jug of wine firmly in his hands, his nose pointed towards the ceiling.

Arthur gulped.

"Okay, you can come." He said finally, taking another sip of his drink.

"That's what I thought." Merlin replied nonchalantly, turning towards Morgana. "You ready?" He asked, giving her an apologetic look for the conversation he knew she overheard.

Morgana simply nodded, letting his hand slip off her lap before bidding goodnight to everyone and leaving the hall.

* * *

><p>"Alright then, give it all you've got." Merlin said when they entered Morgana's chambers.<p>

"What?" Morgana asked as she slipped behind the changing screen and kicked off her shoes.

"Well, you might as well shout at me now instead of letting it boil up and become ten times worse when you finally blow." He said casually, pulling the laces of Morgana's dress free and moving back to give her space.

"I'm not going to shout at you, Merlin." She replied sadly.

Merlin tugged his shirt and neckerchief over his head and stared at her incredulously.

"Really?" He murmured after a few moments.

Morgana sighed.

"I'm not angry with you, Merlin. I know you feel it is your duty to protect Arthur and I respect that now," She began, straightening her night gown before moving around the screen to take Merlin's hands in hers, "All I ask is that you look after yourself too."

Merlin placed one hand under her chin and stroked her cheek gently.

"I promise I will come back to you." He said sincerely.

Morgana smiled up at him, placing a light kiss to his lips before helping him into his nightshirt.

"Good because if you die I'm going to be really pissed." She replied jokingly before shoving him towards the bed.

Merlin slid his arms around her body like her did every night, waiting for her to be sound asleep before letting darkness take him.

* * *

><p>For the first time that week Merlin awoke with a startle, Morgana's elbow digging painfully into his chest as she bolted upright, panting heavily.<p>

He tried to pull her closer to him like he did all of the other times, only to be pushed sharply away by Morgana's shaking hands.

"Morgana it's okay, it was just a dream," He began to sooth her, which only made Morgana cry louder, her hands fisted in his shirt as she held him away from her. "It's okay, I'm here. No one's going to hurt you."

Morgana's cries stopped abruptly, her head turning slowly until she met his eyes. With a broken sob she raised her right hand to his face, not quite touching before shoving him away again.

"Get out!" She screamed, flinging herself off the bed.

Panic soared around in his chest, stealing the words from his mouth. He was frozen in place on the edge of the bed, watching the retreating women with concern and fear.

"I…" he started, but he couldn't even attempt to finish.

What could he say?

There was only one reason he could think of for Morgana reacting this way, and it was the very thing he had tried so desperately to hide from her. She knew. She had to know, and now she hated him.

"Morgana, please, I…"

"Get out!" She screamed again, her back now pushed against the wall, "I don't want you anywhere near me ever again! Do you here? Get, OUT!"

Merlin listened this time, bolting for the door and tripping over a chair in the process. Morgana gave him a heart-breaking look when he turned back to her, so much pain and fear in her eyes he could hardly stand it.

He half slammed the door behind him before sliding down it, pulling his knees into his chest as he tried to contain his tears.

This was all his fault. He should have never let it get this bad and now it was too late. So many lies had passed between them over the years, so many betrayals and sins forgiven, but this was one mistake he knew they could never come back from.

He'd ruined everything.

Morgana crawled miserably into the centre of the room, picking up Merlin's discarded shirt from the ground with delicate fingers before crushing it to her chest, letting her uncontrollable tears soak into the soft fabric.

She stayed like that all night, muttering Merlin's name under her breath before sleep finally took her.


	19. You, Yourself and I

**xxx Hello everyone! I know you've all bean anxious for this chapter so here it is. This chapter is pretty much the climax of the story i would say, though there are still a few more chapters to go. Enjoy! If you can... xxx**

**xxx P.S. For those of you who wanted to read the M rated scene from the last chapter you can find it on my account. xxx**

* * *

><p>"So, are you going to tell me what happened?"<p>

"No."

"Okay."

Arthur had found Merlin sitting in his chambers after his council session that morning, scrubbing fiercely at his armour with no shoes on and wearing one of Arthur's old hunting shirts. George had gasped in horror and tried to snatch the armour away, and lost, obviously.

He had left him to it at first, only giving him worried glances as he sorted through his paper work. He had never been sure how to deal with Merlin when he was upset, though he had tried his best in the past. He didn't think asking if he was alright would be a smart move since he clearly wasn't, and it's not like he would receive an honest answer anyway.

He considered chickening out and getting Guinevere to talk to him, but pushed that thought away as quickly as it came. Out of all the places Merlin could have gone, he had decided to come here, to his private chambers and that had to mean something. He couldn't help but feel slightly honoured.

After an hour and sacrificing half his lunch, he had learned that whatever was wrong had something to do with Morgana, it was all his fault and he didn't want to talk about. When George asked why he was stealing his job he simply replied _"I needed something familiar," _and nothing more.

Now, Arthur sat in front of Merlin staring at him intently, while George lingered behind him with a sour look on his face.

"You're not sharpening that the way I taught you." George remarked while leaning right over Merlin's shoulder.

Merlin's hand tightened on the hilt of the dagger, turning his head sharply to give George a deathly glare.

"George, Is there something else you could be doing?" Arthur asked patiently.

"Yes Sire. As I have been trying to helpfully inform you, you were supposed to be on the training fields fifteen minutes ago. Traditionally, that is where I would be also, helping out with whatever needs doing while giving you compliments on your fighting abilities." George said seriously.

Merlin scoffed and resumed sharpened the dagger.

"Well, have the day off then."

George looked like he had been shot with an arrow in his chest; he even stumbled back a bit.

"But Sire, I hardly think that is neces -"

"I_ insist…_"Arthur cut in more demandingly, giving him a fake smile before nodding his head towards the door.

"You never gave me the day off." Merlin said sulkily once George had left.

"Maybe you should consider that a compliment." Arthur replied, earning him a small smile but nothing more. "Will you tell me what's wrong now that George is gone?" He queried hopefully.

"Nope."

Arthur signed deeply and dropped his head into his hands.

"Can you not tell me because of your feeling towards Morgana?" He then asked abruptly while still scrubbing his face with his palms.

Merlin's movement came to a sudden halt, giving Arthur a look he struggled to interpret.

Arthur sighed again before pushing himself out of his chair and coming to crouch in front on Merlin.

"I know I gave you the whole '_off limits' _speech not that long ago," Arthur began whilst Merlin studied him carefully, "but honestly, there is not one person who could doubt the connection you two have."

Merlin tore his eyes away from Arthur and stared at his hands, a sad look on his face as he fiddled with the buckle on his hauberk.

"It's in the way you look at each other," Arthur continued, his head now rested in his arms on the table, "It's the same way Guinevere looks at me and I look at her, and I know that if something is as powerful as that, you never stop fighting for it."

Merlin looked his way once again, scanning him up and down as if making sure Arthur was real, (which was insulting, really, Arthur could be deep if he damn well pleased, as the king he had _many_ skills.)

"So," Arthur then said loudly while getting back into a stand, "stop sulking around here all day, get your ass in gear and grovel on your knees until she forgives you, got it?"

Merlin grinned widely.

"Yes Sire." He replied happily before making his way to the door.

"Merlin," Arthur called just as he reached the door, "You could at least clean up after yourself first." He said whilst gesturing to the mess of armour, weapons and polishing equipment strewn across the table.

Merlin huffed and stomped over to the table, muttering something along the lines of _'lazy prat' _under his breath. Arthur turned his back to him and smiled smugly, extremely pleased with himself and his cheering up abilities.

"One thing," Merlin began as he slid a dagger into its case, "If you're all for '_fighting for your love' _and what not, why _did _you give me the whole '_off limits'_ speech?" He asked curiously.

Arthur bit his lip while he considered his answer. He wouldn't dream of flat out saying he had been worried for Merlin, if he did he would never hear the end of it, but he couldn't think of a suitable lie either.

"I just didn't trust her, that all." He answered eventually.

"And, you do now?"

Arthur didn't reply; he couldn't bear to be wrong again, to be betrayed by someone he loved again. Deep down he did trust her, but he couldn't deny the nagging doubt he had in his mind, and he didn't think that would ever go away.

"Do _you_ trust her?" he asked instead, looking at Merlin intently.

Merlin looked like he was about to reply _'yes'_ without any thought whatsoever, then hesitated, his face suddenly becoming worried and stricken like it was early that day.

"Yes, I do." He replied after some thought, his voice unwavering.

"Then, that's good enough for me." Arthur said with a smile.

Merlin looked troubled once more, clearing away the mess on the table with faster haste than before.

* * *

><p>Morgana paced back and forth in her room, gulping down her forth goblet of wine that day. Her hand fiddled idly with the point of the blade hidden beneath her sleeve, pressing it into her finger hard enough to hurt but not enough to break the skin.<p>

She had contemplated all morning about what to do with him, and was confident in her choice of action. Her body may be shaking slightly, but she was ready to fight, determined to kill him or bring him down with her.

"_Morgana…"_

The voice came from deep inside her head, making her feel dizzy and nauseous. She held herself firm and didn't flinch when she heard invisible footsteps in the room.

"Show yourself you coward." She said lowly, placing her empty goblet on the bedside table.

The voice chuckled darkly in her mind and out, echoing on the walls of the room.

Morgana slowly turned around, the dagger well hidden in her sleeve.

"Strong until the end I see," He remarked from the shadows, the room seemingly growing darker with every second of his presence, "Well I'm glad, it will make this so much more entertaining."

"Why are you doing this?" She demanded, her heart beating powerfully in her chest as she took a few more steps towards him, "Have I not proven I can change? Have I not proven that I am no longer a threat to Arthur or to Camelot or anyone?"

He chuckled once more, now stepping fully into her view.

"You would like me to think that wouldn't you? You fool him so easily but you don't fool me…"

"Him?" She questioned.

"You know exactly who I'm talking about Morgana." He replied in a bored tone.

"Merlin has nothing to do with this! _This,_ is between you and me."

In a flash Morgana found herself magically pinned to the wall by her neck, letting out a strangled gasp as her leg collided with the bedside table, empty goblet falling to the floor. Emrys pouted as he stalked towards her, as menacingly as an old man can.

"_My Lady_ Morgana, you really don't know a thing, do you?" He said patronisingly, crowding her against the wall.

Emrys looked amused as she struggled to speak, eventually releasing his firm hold on her.

"I guess not." She breathed out painfully, her hand massaging her neck. She stood at tall as possible against the wall, dark eyes trained on her enemy. "After I learned your name, I spent many months asking about you Emrys, not many people haven't heard of you in the magical community." She paused for another deep breath, her hand now limp at her side. "I wasn't surprised at how many people feared you, but do you know what did?"

Emrys gave her a considerate look, tilting his head to the side a little.

"Enlighten me." He replied with a wave of his hand.

"Nearly everyone showed deep respect for you, and for everything you stood for. Not one man would dare stand against you or would ever want to. They spoke of you as if you were some sort of god, the saviour of our kind…"

"Why are you telling me this?" Emrys demanded, confusion written all over his face as the darkness drained from his eyes.

"Because," Morgana continued, taking the opportunity to push herself away from the wall, "I fail to see what you and the man they spoke off have in common. You have haunted me, weakened me and tried to drive me insane, ignoring every attempt I make to prove to you and the people I love that I am no longer the person I used to be. And now, you plan to kill me in cold blood when I have no means to defend myself. These are not the traits of someone to be worshiped but those of a tyrant! You are not a defender of Camelot; you work for no one but yourself!" She spat, her rage and contempt for the man before her too strong to contain.

Morgana was surprised at the strength the old man wielded, the force of his hand to her cheek sending her tumbling into the table by her side. Before she had a chance to raise her own hand against the pain, her wrist was in a punishing grip, her chin forced upwards by his wrinkled fingers to look him in the eye.

"You have no idea who you're dealing with, _little girl_. I will, bring you down, Morgana Pendragon, if it is the last thing I do." He promised coldly, his arm now raised to her chest, prepared to strike.

"So, be, it." She replied, her face showing no emotion as the blade beneath her fingers sliced her skin, fumbling with the dagger until her hand gripped the hilt.

"Morgana…" a small voice called from the other side of the door.

Morgana's heart raced in her chest, panic almost making her drop the dagger to the floor.

"Don't come in here! I told you I don't want you anywhere near me!" She shouted nastily, channelling all her anger into her tone of voice, willing him to listen.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but Morgana we have to talk about this. I'm not leaving until you hear me out, please."

"No!"

Emrys released his grip on her wrist, his expression blank as he took a few steady steps away from her with his arm still raised and ready to fire.

"I'm coming in whether you like it or not." Merlin called stubbornly, jingling the locked door handle a few times before opening it with his magic.

"NO!" Morgana screamed again, moving quickly so she stood between him and Emrys. "Merlin, get out of here now! Please!" She begged desperately, her gaze flickering from her expressionless enemy to her stunned lover.

"What the…" Merlin stammered as he stared at the old man in horror.

"Stay out of this!" Emrys growled at Merlin, circling Morgana until he stood in front of her once more, his palm still stretched out towards her while a warning finger pointed at Merlin.

"Please don't hurt him." Morgana begged, tears filling her eyes as she watched her dream play out in front of her.

"Who the hell are you?" Merlin demanded, ignoring his warning and walking further into the room.

Emrys' eyes shot towards him, a twisted smile on his face.

"I'm-"

Morgana seized her opportunity and plunged the dagger into his chest with lightning force, pushing up on the blade to make sure the wound was fatal.

Emrys didn't scream. He didn't cry in pain or fall to his knees; but Merlin did.

"What have you done?" Emrys muttered, staring at his hands and they began to dissolve into thin air. He made a grab for her but his arms just passed straight through, causing him to stumble forwards.

None of this mattered though. Morgana was frozen where she stood; helplessly watching at Merlin braced himself on the ground with one elbow, the other arm already drenched in blood as he clutched his stomach.

"No…" Morgana whispered in disbelief, lifting the clean dagger in front of her face before dropping it to the floor. "NO!" She said again, this time in a heart wrenching scream as she surged forward and fell to her knees, pulling Merlin into her lap and putting pressure on the wound.

When Morgana glanced up, Emrys was gone.

"Somebody help me!" She cried, though if anyone was near enough to hear they would have come by now.

"Morgana…"

"I'll be right back." She said hastily, carefully trying to move Merlin off her lap.

"No, there's no point." He replied quietly, pulling her hand towards him to stop her from leaving.

"But you're dying." She sobbed, pulling him to her once more. "And it's my fault, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry I, I don't understand what happened, I don't…"

"Shh, it's not your fault," Merlin soothed, his other hand moving into her hair, "you're okay, that's all that matters."

Morgana began to cry louder, her tears falling freely down her cheeks and into Merlin's hair. She screamed for help again and again until her throat started to get sore, Merlin's blood coating her hands, clothes and face and she pressed him tightly against her.

"I c-can't lose you, Merlin, p-please I can't," She stammered in a high pitch voice, trying and failing to hold back her tears, "I told you to stay away, you shouldn't have come, you s-shouldn't, I don't even know how this happened, it makes no sense I…"

"Morgana, there's something I, I have to tell you…"

"No, Don't,_ please…_"

Merlin gave her a guilty look through his pain, biting into his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.

"I have to. I can't die knowing that-"

"You're not going to die." Morgana cut in firmly, placing her hand against his cheek. "I won't let you."

"But I have to tell you-"

"I love you…" Morgana interrupted again, a warm, comfortable feeling sparking in her stomach as soon as the words passed her lips.

Merlin looked confused for a moment, his hand leaving her hair to frame her eyes.

"I love you too…" He replied weakly, giving her as much of a smile as he could manage before his hand began to slip from her face, his eyes now closed.

Morgana squeezed his limp hand in hers, pressing her forehead to his as she cried hysterically. She was too far gone to notice the array of people now flooding into the room, not until Gwaine knelt beside her and pressed his fingers to Merlin's neck, and her arms were grabbed from behind.

When Morgana glanced up a number of people in front of her staggered backwards, fear in their eyes as they looked upon her. When she turned to scream at the guards they slowly released her arms, hands in the air before retreating also.

"He's alive. We need to get him to Gaius immediately!" Gwaine declared to Arthur as he burst into the room, out of breath and as white as a sheet.

Arthur gulped and nodded, signalling to Percival who was hovering by the door.

Morgana held onto his hand as he was easily lifted into Percival's arms, but a sword at her throat prevented her from following. She let him go reluctantly, knowing that Merlin didn't have the time for her to argue.

Knowing that Merlin didn't have the time at all.

When she finally let go of him there was a chorus of relief filled sighs, fearful eyes now turning to hate and disgust. The sparkling feeling in her stomach quickly shattered, leaving her cold and empty.

"What did you do?" Arthur asked angrily from the other end of the sword, standing above her.

"Arthur, I swear I didn't do this, I, couldn't…" She sobbed out, flinching when the sword was pressed harder into her neck.

"_Oh really?_ Then who did? Because I didn't see anyone else in here with golden eyes and coated in blood."

Morgana's hand quickly moved to hover near her eyes, right above where Merlin had last touched her.

Merlin must have seen, and he had smiled. If only she had known she could have used it to save him. Now it had abandoned her once again, the feeling she had sensed in her stomach so achingly obvious now she felt like forcing the blade into her throat herself.

Morgana let her hand fall back into her lap, sighing in defeat and letting her tears fall again.

"I didn't do it." She mumbled, looking up at Arthur through blurry eyes.

Arthur hesitated for a second before removing his sword from her neck, still pointing it towards her as he backed away.

"Seize her." He ordered the guards who had grabbed her before, his expression a mix of anger and sorrow, hate and sadness.

"No!" Morgana shouted yet again that day, fighting against the many hands that held her arms tightly and hauled her to her feet. "Please, Arthur, you have to believe me…"

"No I don't." Arthur cut in shakily, tears now rimming his eyes, "If Merlin dies, you die."

"Arthur…"

"Take her away." He ordered before storming out of the room, everyone else trooping behind him.

Morgana struggled, kicked and screamed as she was dragged down the many corridors to the dungeon, ignoring the pleased smiles and hateful looks she received.

After being tossed onto the cell floor her hands were roughly forced into a pair of shackles, and she was left alone in the dark with nothing but a broken heart and the promise of death to keep her company.

She curled up on her side and cried as loud as she could, for no one could hear her.

* * *

><p><strong>xxx Okay, so if anyone thought that chapter was a total mind-fuck then i'm glad. I would love to hear your theories if anyone's got it yet, and don't worry if you haven't because all will be revealed in the next chapter! :) xxx<strong>


	20. AUTHOR'S NOTICE

**Hey guys!**

**If anyone's still out there I just wanted to let you know that this story is not abandoned, though it may seem like it. Long story short after a huge writer's block I finally got the next 3 chapters written…but then life happened and I dropped my laptop and lost everything. I've started re-writing it but it's taking more time than I anticipated to come together again.**

**However, there's no way I'm going to admit defeat so please be patient and hopefully you should start seeing updates soon, I'm aiming for around February time so I will have a few chapters under my belt before I start updating again.**

**I'm so sorry for the long wait guys, I really appreciate anyone who's stuck with me after all this time, you're all amazing.**

**Hope you all have a lovely Christmas! :D **


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